Oct 14

I would suck your blood, but do you know how hard it is to keep this figure?Click for full image

You know what type of reader suffers in the world of sci-fi/fantasy? Men! We need something for the men! So just put a redhead vampire chick with a huge rack right there on the front cover, holding her shotgun. It’s about time that we have something men can enjoy unlike those, dragons, swords, guns, lasers…….space ships…..oh…

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.44 out of 10)

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16 Responses to “Habeas Corpses”

  1. CSA Says:

    Ah. Sweet Baen, how i missed the horrific orange font.

    She must be super tough… she’s not even wearing shoulder pads

  2. SI Says:

    But man look at those shoulders! No wonder she doesn’t cover them up. They look like boulders.

  3. little mi Says:

    I think its the small things that make it special. The addition of the pointless and unnecessary [an] in the promotional quote. The Wm. Mark Simmons in a desperate attempt to engineer the authors name so it would fit just right and of course the delightful skull decoration on the doorway pillars; no kick-arse vampire lady would be without these little touches that make a home.

  4. Adam Roberts Says:

    Do you think ‘Wm’ is short for ‘William’, or do you think that’s actually his name? I prefer the latter hypothesis. I like the thought of people greeting him by shouting ‘Hey Wm! Wm! Over here! Wm!’

  5. SI Says:

    Excellent skull finding Little Mi :) I strangely missed that completely!

    I’m also not convinced those straps around her waist actually hold anything in place.

    WM. is probably his street name. As in, DJ WM. ‘Raps about vampires and all that jazz.’

  6. Roses Says:

    D’ya know, she really ought to be careful with those, When she runs, she’s just going to knock herself unconscious. Not enought support!

    Well as long as Charlaine Harris thinks it’s worth reading…

  7. ugotpwn3d Says:

    She is clearly lifting her head up to see under her sunglasses. Guess that will teach her for wearing them at night!

  8. little mi Says:

    Perhaps the straps are there to hold in the evil child of satan that is about to dig its way out of her deceptively toned and placid belly in preparation for total world domination.

  9. SI Says:

    This cover has annoyed me now. While reading last night all I could image for a girl in the book was this women and then couldn’t stop laughing.

    Oh what fun nights I have….

  10. CSA Says:

    Police rookie: So which house do you think the evil vampire lives in?
    Sergeant: I’ve got this hunch it’s this one here, the house with the pillars and scary skulls beside the old oak door.
    Police rookie: Well how will we recognise her?
    Sergeant: Well if the movie Blade has taught me anything, we should just kill anything with lots of leather and wears sunglasses all the time
    Police rookie: but what about emo kids…
    Sergeant: I said kill anything…

  11. Roses Says:

    Two Suited Gentlemen : Good evening madam. Would you like a copy of WatchTower? Have you accepted the Word of God into your life?

    Evil Vampire Wench weighs up her need for a quick snack….

  12. SI Says:

    “Excuse me miss, we are investigating a series of murders in the area where the victims have had bite marks in there necks and shotgun wounds to the chest. Have you seen anything unusual lately?”

  13. Mark V Thomas Says:

    “Durham Red ! Is that you…??” – Search & Destroy Agent a/k/a “Strontium Dog” Johnny Alpha

  14. Tom Noir Says:

    I didn’t realize this cover was already on this site! Habeas CORPSES, Baen? I think even you guys should be a little ashamed of that one. Or, you know, this cover in general.

  15. Justin Leego Says:

    Immense, isn’t it? Equally, they could have gone with a World War III-style hewn block and got away with it, such is the aweful majesty of the pun.

  16. Tom Noir Says:

    I deduce from this cover that “Wm.” Mark Simmons (seriously, what is he abbreviating? ‘William”?? ‘Woman’???) writes about vampires that never need to pee, because imagine if this, erm, lovely lady had to hit the loo in a hurry. By the time she untangled herself from all those straps and chains… let’s just say she’d be nocturinal.

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