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Nov 09

Scary uncle, still ruins every photo.Click for full image

Nix Comments: You may recognise some aspects of this cover. The huge glowy face on the left? That, I think, is Tung: I suspect Miles is the other glowy face. In the book, Tung’s never described as having any kind of moustache, and it would fit poorly inside a combat helmet, but hey, Eurasians all look like Ming the Merciless, right? Right?
Published 1997

You might remember me from such covers as The Vor Game.
Many thanks to Nix!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.82 out of 10)
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23 Responses to “Young Miles”

  1. Simon Says:

    Do you think Lois McMaster Bujold saw this cover and said ‘There’s no way you’re putting my name on that!’?

  2. Justin Leego Says:

    I’d like to see the back cover for quote references. It reads like a James Lipton cue card.

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Tung’s never described as having any kind of moustache, and it would fit poorly inside a combat helmet, but hey, Eurasians all look like Ming the Merciless, right? Right?”

    Not to mention that judging by this (partly recycled) cover, Whitey McWhitebread has conquered the universe and put up a huge “NO BLACKS, NO IRISH, NO DOGS” sign on the door.

  4. Elijah Says:

    I’d just like to point out that the rest of the omnibuses for this series have even uglier covers than this one. Seriously, this is the best they gave it.

  5. Anrkist Says:

    I’ve never seen anyone so excited to be sitting in a chair.

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    One should not blame the author when editors scramble for “killer quotes” with such desperation that you get those ridiculous cue card quotes
    — which, by the way, are so ruthlessly parsed they could fit into just about ANY review:

    “… wit, style, versatility…” [ “– these are features largely absent from this year’s deluge of ever-more derivative sequels.”]

    [“It would be”] “… wonderful…” [“if publishers, just for once, stopped behaving like a flock of sheep shepherded by accountants, and started acting like people with depth in their souls.”]

    [“There is a”] “…superb…” [“phrase which sums up the recurring peril of trying to offer readers more of the same, year after year.”]

    [“The amazingly”] “…powerful…” [“glue binding this paperback ensured that no pages fell out, even after I stuffed it into the wood stove and lit a fire.”]

    [“The consistently dull, utterly predictable output from major genre publishers is now”] “…compelling…” [“me to give up on SF and Fantasy altogether.”]

    [For readers with a paralyzing phobia of the unknown, I offer this book and say — with a sneer:”] “Highly recommended.”

  7. Dave Van Domelen Says:

    Simon: the scan simply omits the top edge which has Bujold’s name.

  8. Seamyst Says:

    Yeah, this cover is great for playing, “Whose face is that?” The girl on the right is probably Elena, and the person in the lower left corner is androgynous enough (what we can see of them, anyway) that I’m going to say it’s Bel. No clue on the others, unless the old guy on the lower right is Piotr’s ghost.

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    Wow, recycling the same cover within the same book series? Gutsy! I like your moxy, kid.

    The really amazing thing is that _the editors thought this cover was so great that they used it twice_!

  10. Kathleen Says:

    hilarious

  11. Adam Roberts Says:

    The huge looming blue face on the right? Mr Big from Sex in the City.

  12. Nix Says:

    Adam: I’m now imagining Miles as Mr Big. I’m not sure the hyperactivity really fits (though it would surely be useful in a criminal career, not that Miles could get away with one with his position and appearance. It’s almost as unlikely as his passing himself off as a mercenary admiral and not a Vorkosigan at all).

    Seamyst: I just dug through the book. The hair colour is right, but in the very first chapter Elena is described as having an aquiline profile. Is that aquiline? No. (Mind you, this is a very minor sin compared to all the other sins this cover is guilty of.)

    Unfortunately the cover of the most recent Vorkosigan novel, _Cryoburn_ (they thankfully dropped the planned BiCapitalization) is relatively restrained for Baen, with only the hideous orange Baen Standard Font to mark it out from the crowd.

    (And sorry about chopping part of the cover off: I was using a really crap camera back in April.)

  13. Nix Says:

    Need I add that I feel privileged to have a submission of mine positioned right after such an appalling cover as _Clash of Star-Kings_.

  14. SI Says:

    Nothing like a nice family get together to sit and watch Space Eastenders.

  15. Seamyst Says:

    Nix: Yeah, you’re right. Still, it’s a good bet that the cover artist didn’t know that (or didn’t care, but I’m going with the former).

  16. Fred Zimmerman Says:

    So many of these Baen covers are awful, but, they sell…

  17. Pat Says:

    Baen are currently giving all of the Vorkosigan series, including Cryoburn, away for free online. Only the texts, of course, if you want the cover art as well you have to pay.

  18. Nix Says:

    If you get _Cryoburn_, it has a CD in the back with the text of absolutely everything else in that universe on it in half a dozen formats, including cover art. Run, don’t walk! :)

  19. Nix Says:

    As an aside, the recycled nature of this cover is actually a rather too clever feature. The book is an anthology consisting of a short story and two novels, _The Warrior’s Apprentice_ and _The Vor Game_. The glowy background is a recycled cover from _The Warrior’s Apprentice_, and the foreground is recycled from _The Vor Game_. So the cover looks automatically familiar if you already have the books that make up this one, so you know you don’t need to buy it. :)

  20. Dear Prudynce Says:

    Old Miles doesn’t get about much anymore.

  21. JustinLeego Says:

    Beat me to it by seven months, Nix. You king.

  22. AA Says:

    No, that’s definitely Charlie Sheen.

  23. Tom Noir Says:

    “We can see directly up his nostrils! FIRE!”

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