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Feb 07

I've read The Midwich Cuckoos! Kill it! Kill it!Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: A picture of little girl floating above a jewel and ocean, always sells the book! Trust me – I did media studies!
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.85 out of 10)
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13 Responses to “Montezuma’s Pearl”

  1. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “The sleep of centuries is ended — the time of diaper rashes, screaming and waking up at 5:30 in the morning has begun.”

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    That’s not a pearl, it’s one of those fancy crystal beaker corks. My grandma had one.

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    Look out below! And you thought the seagulls were bad.

  4. Phil Says:

    Pearls are smooth, not faceted. Maybe the girl is called Pearl. Or maybe Montezuma Is Pearl, as the title says.

    The price label brings back fond memories of the former Andromeda Bookshop, Brum’s best place for SF imports. I note, however, that they could only shift this tome by dropping the price.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “The crew of the Satellite of Love thought they were out of Dr. Forrester’s grip — but now they face…
    MONTEZUMA’S PEARL”

    Bada-bum! Thank you!

  6. Evad Says:

    Too bad the individual elements of the cover come together in so awkward a manner. The actual rendering of the girl is pretty good.

    + for the MST3K reference.

  7. Zycrow Says:

    Excerpt of “Montezuma’s pearl” from WebMD:

    “…in an unusual form which tends to involve reaching nirvana immediately after the sudden ejection of a disco ball…”

  8. Dalton H. Says:

    An accurate description of the end of sleep I do say.

  9. David H Says:

    I had Montezuma’s Revenge once.

    No pearls, faceted or not, were involved . . .

  10. Green Says:

    If it’s “Montezuma’s Pearl”, shouldn’t she look Aztec? Or at least somewhat less blonde?

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Green asked:
    “If it’s “Montezuma’s Pearl”, shouldn’t she look Aztec? Or at least somewhat less blonde?”

    Oh, that’s unwritten rule #1 for all U.S. fantasy book cover designs (written down here for your convenience):

    The Fantasy Publishing Whitewash Rule: Any non-WASP character actually featured in the book shall be depicted as a blonde, blue-eyed Aryan WASP on the cover.

    A similar rule applies to TV Fantasy — also known as the Wizard of Earthsea Directive.

  12. Green Says:

    I had forgotten about the FBWR! Whether robots, alien species, magical creatures… everyone gets the same treatment – to unintended comical results. :-D

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Goodreads User Jan Castillo describes this as ‘so, so lame.’ The thirded price tag shows it’s certainly not a hot sell…

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