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Apr 12

LOOK.. I just assumed he was naked so I thought why the heck shouldn't I be!Click for full image

Whitney’s Art Direction: Oh, under HEAVEN’S Bridge. I thought you said something else…
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.98 out of 10)
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23 Responses to “Under Heaven’s Bridge”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Now that’s what you call a star jump. The future of gymnastics? Yes, I believe it is.

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Actually, this is a pretty good SF book cover. The art is original and stylishly made (and weird, but I like weird covers), the fonts are tastefully used…

    Can you imagine the Baen Books version? Can you imagine how over-the-top it would be? Think about it, won’t you?

  3. Phil Says:

    Pin him(?) to a fencepost and give him(?) a spin, and he’d be a human(?) catherine wheel. He(?)’s just dying to say, “Wheeeeeee!”

  4. Jane Says:

    The first thing I noticed about this cover was the classic 1970′s color scheme of gold. brown, and olive. Then I noticed the two aliens and quickly gave up trying to figure out what was going on there. “At least there’s a hunk,” I thought when I saw the nekkid man in the lower right corner; however, he seems to have the hindquarters of a woman.

  5. Dalton H. Says:

    Pointy hats are perfect for baby gymnastic lifts above your head!

  6. fred Says:

    Where’s my cow?
    Is that my cow?
    It goes “shhjziklechuffchuffzzzzzp”.
    It’s a…umm…err…night light.
    That is not my cow.

  7. Zycrow Says:

    Why does it have SO MANY KNEES

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    Inexplicable cover featuring disturbing naked aliens doing gymnastics? Garish color scheme?

    THIS is how you sell sci-fi novels!

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Why does it have SO MANY KNEES”

    - So that it can knee Donald Trump in the groin three times simultaneously.

  10. SI Says:

    To be fair, this would greatly improve all those reality dance programs on the BBC! :)

  11. Tom Noir Says:

    Someone took “Dancing With the Stars” rather literally.

  12. Claire Says:

    Coming soon on Britain’s Got Talent!

  13. Phil Says:

    The tall one with lots of knees reminds me a bit of Bender from Futurama.

  14. Scott B Says:

    I believe either his legs telescope, or they’re made of bamboo.

  15. GK Says:

    Must be a great book. Just look at all the effort the owner took to tape it back together!

  16. Lemon Says:

    Never before have I so badly wanted to know what, exactly, is going on in a cover. Are the aliens melting, or are those tentacles? Decorative streamers? Are those halos part of their heads? Why is that guy naked?

  17. arch9enius Says:

    they’re either mating… Or junior is being held aloft to see the A380 at Farnborough. Which seems a bit irresponsible considering he’s shooting lasers from his eyes. You know what… standard archeologist’s explanation, its some sort of religious act.

  18. Stevie T Says:

    “I name you…KUNTA KINTE!!!”

    @fred @ No. 6: Brilliant. Awesomely Brilliant.

  19. Judith Says:

    Simba, everything you can see is yours!

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Phil…god, Phil, what have you done?’

    ‘Sweetheart, I’ve combined our creche with my twin loves of termites and model rocketry. As soon as I take off my control-top hose, I’m going to put it out on the front lawn!’

  21. David Cowie Says:

    I’ve just remembered that IAN WATSON is an anagram of NOW A SAINT.
    Dunno about Michael Bishop though.

  22. B. Chiclitz Says:

    If I can . . . just . . . touch . . . the alien’s right ankle, maybe this guy’s clothes will magically come back on. I can’t take much more of that waistline—it’s higher and narrower than mine!

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Everybody now!
    “It’s a circle of liiife…”

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