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Jul 03

The Jewels of Elvish

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Some girls want ponies... others want orc armies!Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Boarders and frames are the window to one’s soul my friend! Just make sure this soul has a perm and a great pair of… candles… ah ha ha ha. Of course I really mean boobs.
Published 1989

P.S. I’ll hopefully have the ratings working again later today!

Actually, that cover is a visual feast!I would pick that one up.Neeaaa, I've seen worse.Interesting, but I would still take it on a train.It's somewhere between the awful/good scale.Would not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...I swear, thats my flatmates!Gah... my eyes! They are burning!Good Show Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 7.26 out of 10)
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15 Responses to “The Jewels of Elvish”

  1. Phil Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Elvish hash left the building.

    Oh, and: Behind you!

  2. Hep C Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Seriously, what exactly is there Behind her! ?
    I love the disco hair.

    Glad to see a new cover, still can’t rate however.

  3. THX 1138 Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 10:11 am

    “Urgh! You spend more time texting on your jewel than you do talking to me!”

  4. SI Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 10:31 am

    I don’t remember the bright eyes video having orcs…

  5. Jaouad Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Look for the exciting sequels:
    THE DIAMONDS OF DWARVISH
    THE ZIRCONS OF ORCISH

  6. MisterBOB Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Surely the Prequel is Total Eclipsce of the Heart ?

  7. Michael D Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Ah, TSR, fine purveyors of cheesecake. Surprisingly, this wasn’t made by Larry Elmore (though Clyde Caldwell isn’t very reluctant when it comes to variations of chainmail bikinis, too).

  8. Adam Roberts Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    Ah, Stevie Nicks! Fantasy is truly your proper home.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    I misread the title as “The Jews of the Elvish”. “Oy gevalt! I got me a teal orc chompin’ on my perm. I just had that done!”

    Welcome back, GSS!

  10. fred Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 6:42 pm

    Looks more like Shybhil Dhannhing to me. And why can’t she afford matching chandleshticks?

  11. espedair Says:
    July 3rd, 2012 at 8:00 pm

    *obligatory polishing family jewels joke*

  12. L.B. Says:
    July 4th, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    Nah MisterBob, it’s the sequel. If you’ll remember in the video, those kids had glowing eyes. Well… you see what happened the next time she visited the school.

  13. chuffmunky Says:
    July 4th, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    The Perm of Destiny strikes fear into the black hearts of demons!

  14. Jerk of all Trades Says:
    July 5th, 2012 at 8:44 am

    What is it with cover artists and the obsession with history’s worst hairstyles?

  15. Anti-Sceptic Says:
    July 17th, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    I think it would have been cooler if the Orcs were in the foreground and the buxom blonde was in the background. So you get to see what the Orcs are thinking about….babes…..or boobs….or both!

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