Sep 10

That depressing moment when you realise you have the power to control a single large insect...Click for full image

Lauren’s Art Direction: I want explosions! And glowing auras! And giant lizards in cloaks! And some hot kids who go to the gym on a regular basis! Oh, and throw in a scorpion, there’s a sale on the stock photo site.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Assassination Anxiety”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Ah, remember those playsets you used to get where you rubbed the transfers onto the background provided to create your own pictures of Star Wars or Batman or… sorry, just getting nostalgic.

  2. Jaouad Says:

    Assssssssination Anxiety
    The McNen2i2 Files
    Book Z

    Damn. Now I have to find books A-Y as well.

    And there’s something seriously wrong with those kids’ arms.

  3. SI Says:

    I’m vouching for the lizard man… He’s just out for a stroll around the ghetto and WHAM! Attacked by three crazyz teenagers.

  4. Jon Says:

    Published 2011? I would have guessed sometime in the 80s. This has all the feel of a Choose Your Own Adventure, or D.A.R.Y.L.

  5. Rachel J Says:

    This is probably neither here nor there– but that thing isn’t a scorpion. It appears to be a huntsman spider with a scorpion’s tail. Odd.

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Let’s just say that I believe in the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover” like I believe in Santa Claus.

  7. fred Says:

    Assassination anxiety? Just put on a pair of McKenzie jeans and unleash your inner Booth. (Caution – do not attempt – professional jeans models on a closed course)

  8. Jami Says:

    See, my first thought was that this was some sort of alternate universe for Saved By The Bell.

  9. Phil Says:

    THX 1138, I had exactly the same thought about those rub-on transfers. So much so that I did some research and found a whole website dedicated to such things. Enjoy:

  10. THX 1138 Says:

    @Phil: Letraset! Those were the guys! Thanks for the link! Ten minutes of play, but the fun, the artistry, the pride… lasted ten minutes. They were very moreish.

  11. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    I’d root for the Lizard Wizard and his minions to triumph in this battle, except for the fact that they don’t seem to be sharing the same spatial reality with those douchey kids.

  12. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Hah! I have it now. This cover reminds me of a childrens’ came show I used to watch as a kid, where for the final round, the contestants got to play an arcade game from “inside” the video game — they were in front of a projection screen, or possibly some cheap-o green screen was used, I don’t remember.
    Aside from the contestants always doing kind of badly because they were doing a lot of jumping and ducking while playing a game they could only see by looking up at the monitor in front of them, the thing about that show that stood out most was the kid standing out against the game-backdrop.

    This looks a lot like that.

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    @Jerk of All Trades: Knightmare? Are we talking early 80s and broadswords against skeletons sort of thing?

  14. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Lizard man: “Puny human, your blue-ray has no effect on me. I am already blue…Hahahaha!”

  15. Don Hilliard Says:

    @Phil and THX1138: You had to say something! We had the same thing in the US, and I had to hunt down the name (which wasn’t Letraset and which I couldn’t remember either.)

    Appropriately for this cover, it was Presto Magix.

    (Seldom found in toy shops. Always found in drugstores and gas stations.)

    Something seems to have gone wrong with the kids’ forcefield/time bubble, because Zappy the Wonder Teen’s left leg appears to be on backwards.

    And I’ll agree with the “font problems” tag only because Countdown font does not deserve to be printed in beige and then airbrushed.

  16. Jerk of all Trades Says:


    I think the show I saw was called Nick Arcade, but yeah, it was a lot like your description.

  17. Hep C Says:

    Am I the only one who can’t stop staring at what appears to be a turtle with insect wings? And a helmet. And antennas. And then there’s a spider with a piece of intestine stuck on its back.

    Also, thins is either a movie set, or that girl’s got super human strength or something, judging on how she is holding that big block of cement.

  18. Hep C Says:

    Damn, how did I miss it? Is that an impaled armadillo?

  19. Lilah Says:

    This cover just screams “self-published”.

  20. David Cowie Says:

    Teal and orange.

  21. Herm Says:

    Argh, the poses… why are they all so awful and wooden and flat? I want that lizard as a pet, though.

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