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Jun 14

So how I look guys? Epic? Yeah... I wish I had stuffed this unicorn with a happy face too...Click for full image

Stephen Comments: A badly drawn Kevin Keegan with a unicorn’s head on his shield!! A UNICORN’S HEAD! ON KEVIN KEEGAN’S MAGIC SHIELD! Marvellous.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
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30 Responses to “Sign of the Unicorn”

  1. @Loerwyn Says:

    Isn’t that the guy from Dschinghis Khan?

  2. Phil Says:

    Either the cover artist is someone called Fox, or the artist intended to paint in a fox behind the head of the guy on the left.

    The unicorn head looks stuck-on, like a space sheep or a CS Lewis. I think you should cut him out and keep him in reserve for covers requiring more than two cover-ups.

  3. The Tag Wizard Says:

    “Not a lot known about this artist apart from his signature” says the ISFDB wiki.

    But check out the dates on his published art – 1944, 1978, 1979, 2009. Immortal vampire artist?

  4. SI Says:

    OHHHH interesting…. who is fox… are you Fox?

    Well let me go further with the Fox mystery and add historical evidence…

    1944 Published June - D Day

    1978 No date – We can safely assume the art is referring to – Pope Paul VI , dead at 80

    1979 No date – We can safely assume – Margaret Thatcher elected

    2009 No date - Swine flu…..

    Putting all this clear evidence together it can really only mean one thing. Fox is a time traveller who feeds on human emotions, and electricity. He is an emotic-voltage-time vampire.

    Now putting the information through my supercomputers and adapting some mathematical formulas I say his next significant event will be: 1931

    We need a time machine!!!

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    I’ve never seen apemen so disappointed that they don’t have a unicorn shield. You can practically hear the “Awww…”

  6. FeařofMusiç Says:

    By the movement of his cloak I would say the pants-less warrior is employing Fox’s Fearsome Flatulance to stun and stagger his foes. Remember, when outnumbered, the ole Triple F will give you room to maneuver in.

  7. Phil Says:

    Fox was probably 12 when he sent in two sketches to FAMOUS FANTASTIC MYSTERIES. And a retired hobbyist of 77 when he painted his two interior pieces for WEIRD TALES.

    More plausible than an immortal vampire.

  8. The Tag Wizard Says:

    The identity of the cover artist is part of an elaborate backstory fabricated by Hideo Kojima for Metal Gear Solid V/5: The Phantom Pain / Ground Zeroes / Cardboard Box Simulator 2014

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    +1 for the expression on the (presumably ex-) unicorn’s face.

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @THX: I like your theory. Notice that Kevin isn’t looking at the orcs, he’s looking in front of them.

    ‘Hallo, boys! What are we all working on over here?’

    ‘Oh…nothin’, Mr. Keegan.’

    ‘I can see it’s SOMETHING. Here, let’s step over the horizon and take a look.’

    ‘O…kay…(d’you suppose he’ll let us hold his shield?!)’

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    In about half a minute porn-stache warrior is going to be sportin’ a new ape-head helmet to complement his sad unicorn-head shield.

  12. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Or: Fox is the Luther Blisset of fantasy illustration

  13. Rags Says:

    @ THX 1138: Poor apemen, they wanted Frank Frazetta to capture their awesomeness and they got ageless wonder Mr. Fox…I would be upset as well.

    @ Bibliomancer: While watching the excellent Game of Thrones on HBO i would often sigh to myself, “i wish they had more porn-stache warriors” like on that Roger Zelazny cover.

    That unicorn shield is hilarious, you can almost hear the “neighing!”

  14. Jaouad Says:

    Hm, this is actually the third book in the Amber saga. Really can’t recall the family unicorn’s head being used as a shield. Also, Random never spoke of his short stint in the adult movie industry.

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Sorry you haven’t seen very much of my artwork. I’ve been really busy doing the cover and all the interior illustrations for Harlan Ellison’s Last Dangerous Visions. I’m almost done. Sorry for the delay.” — Fox

  16. fred Says:

    He’s wearing Eric’s colors but doesn’t have the beard.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Where’s his left arm?

    *looks at unicorn’s expression*

    Is that actually a puppet on his shield? Maybe the orcs are thinking, ‘He’s not going to do his Wayland Flowers impression, is he?’

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    Kevin Keegan? Naa, mate, that’s Derek Dougan.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Whoa… is he carrying the decapitated head of a unicorn on his shield? ‘Cos it sure looks like it died horribly. What a creep!

  20. David Cowie Says:

    Does anyone else think that the shield is shaped like California? But with a unicorn-shaped annexation of neighbouring territories.

  21. Stevie T Says:

    Having recently read this story, the cover kinda-sorta looks like something that happened in it, but only in a very vague, kinda-sorta way. Although I could be wrong, in that I read it as part of an Amber omnibus and I’m a little unclear as to what happened in which book…However, I’m pretty sure nobody (in any of the books) looked like that guy.

    But the unicorn definitely was never used as a shield, especially as this unicorn looks like someone abruptly ripped its head off and decided to use it as a shield while the poor thing is going “What the heck just happened? What in the world are you doing?! Nooooooo!”

  22. B. Chiclitz Says:

    What is with that horrible blobbish thing clutching the axe? Did “Fox” skip the lesson on “Hands” in Matchbook Cover Art School? Is that the secret to the shield? (“What, you have to draw TWO hands?”)

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Everyone knows that a unicorn is just a metaphor for… uh… really creepy armor.

  24. Tat Wood Says:

    Two of the Blutak Apes are gazing upon the mighty warrior with frank admiration and awe. The on on the right seems to be asking to leave, possibly in a voice like Arnold Ridley in ‘Dad’s Army’.
    Maybe he’s seen more than is wise up Warrior-dude’s skirt.

  25. Power Hydrant Says:

    What are you guys talking about? That’s definitely Frank Zappa.

  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Power Hydrant—can’t be, no soul patch. More like a young David Crosby, before the smack and booze and prison time and all took their toll.

  27. Mahe Says:

    It’s totally Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap.
    That is all.

  28. Jaouad Says:

    @27 “It’s totally Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap.”

    Correct answer. That unicorn shield is so obviously trying to compensate for something. Or the lack of something.

  29. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    While on tour of the new neighborhood the ape men were agog at what they saw…

    Tour Guide Ape Man: “And over here we have our sacred stones of Glerpklsahf…where a human holding a unicorn’s head is ‘doing his business’.”

    Ape Man: “Martha, don’t look.”

    Martha (Ape Man Wife): “Look at the size of that dump. Did he eat a whole unicorn?!”

  30. Dexeron Says:

    Is that supposed to be Gérard? He’s the only one who I remember ever using an axe, apart from Deirdre.

    Lol at the pornstache.

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