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Jul 04

Phooooarrrrr.... just look at those tape reels! Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Sir! How do we stop this robot plague!?! Unplug them from the wall?! That’s… well… yeah ok then.
Published 1977

Many thanks to Darren for sending this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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32 Responses to “The Death Dolls of Lyra”

  1. Rachel J Says:

    So.. the title refers to “death dolls”, the cover art depicts (half of) a robot and whoever wrote the blurb seems think the enemy is killer fungus.

    Trying to keep us guessing, are they?

  2. Phil Says:

    Robot sit-ups.

  3. Rachel J Says:

    Need a quote for your book cover? Why bother plucking misleading sentence fragments out of actual reviews? Just invent your own!

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    “See inside for full robotic pelvic thrust.”

  5. Jaouad Says:

    First we had a 3D cover, now we have one with built-in loudspeaker grilles? Will they stop at nothing? Or is this one of those newfangled “e-books”?

    Rocking out to Death Dolls of Lyra feat. André the Android.

    The sparks coming from that wall plug are a touch of genius.

  6. The Tag Wizard Says:

    The smug look on the face of that… er… ‘being’ is magnificent. And cursory investigation indicates that the robot, the fungus, and the dolls of death are connected. Deeply.

    BUT HOW, I ask you, HOW???

  7. Bibliomancer Says:

    Yes this does remind me of Ray Bradbury. What was that temperature I needed to burn this book? Can I borrow your lighter?

  8. JuanPaul Says:

    Plug in, kick back, and let the good times roll.

  9. Rachel J Says:

    @Tag Wizard. I don’t know what your investigations turned up, but all I could find was this:

    At first the growth seemed a little more than a fungus which could be treated in the ordinary way. But the two toy dolls which apparently had caused the infection were breeding places of some alien contamination that would spread from animal to man – to the entire countryside. The dolls had come from somewhere out of this galaxy. somewhere from out of this galaxy there were beings no larger than dolls. somewhere from out of this galaxy there was launched an infesstation [sic] that would spread like the plague from continent to continent. Was this madness without reason? was there anyone left who was sane enough to reason?

  10. FeàrofMusıc Says:

    Wow. This cover, that summary. Man, it is like totally blowing my mind. I mean, look at the robot, man. He’s like C3PO, only like if he was an actual stereo man. Look it,man, he’s got like the reel to reel and everything. And dolls, from like a galaxy where…beings are the…size of dolls! Whooooaa. That, that is like deep man. Amd of course they wanna totally kill us, cuz like dolls are freakin’ creepy. And then there is the fungus. Heh heh. Humungus fungus among us, man I love that. But you know it’s all gonna be cool. See, the robot man, look at him. You know he parties. He’s got the best spacegrass man, Jesus on the dashboard, whenever it feels right. The robot is tellin’ us man, yeah, it’s cool man. Yeah.

    Wonder if that conversation, or a close simulation, took place back in 1977. Besides in my older brothers room.

  11. The Tag Wizard Says:

    @Rachel J. I do hope that was the back cover pitch, because it’s amazing. Or maybe my blood sugar’s too low. Either way, sold.

  12. FeàrofMusıç Says:

    In the field of Apocalyptic Fiction the award for Least Effective Cover goes to…’Death Dolls of Lyra’! Let’s hear it folks!

    Look down at the blurb.
    Look up at the artwork.
    Look down at the blurb.
    Look up at the artwork.

    Terrified yet?

  13. David Cowie Says:

    I’m waiting for someone to write DEATH DOLLS OF LYCRA.

  14. fred Says:

    Google…Death Dolls of Lyra…images…good show sir….my little pony? WTF?…Lyra Heartstrings?…Google…mlp.wikia link…OK …seems innocuous enough…hell of a lot of info here for a cartoon character, behold the power of wiki…comments section…browse…browse…browse… “Me before Background Pony fic: Ha! What a pretty pony! Limy green, a bon-bon side-kick, a unique human sitting style, CUTE! Meme worthy!
    AFTER Background Pony fic: I….. I…. I….. Words cannot express this philosophical musician…. for she acheives the new true meaning of life…. charishes frienship, love, selflessness, and most of all… the FEEL of the soul of music. She’s been through a lonesome journey of self-discovory and deserve to leave a hoof print on this beautiful world of ours…. called “Earth”.
    For I too, now know the meaning of life…. through her outstanding wisdom of words. Her meaningless, and paradoxically at the same time meaningful…. words. She truely understands the concepts of love and loneliness, as I can see and feel through her eyes… Her terrible…. yet beautiful… Life…
    As a Background Pony.
    Lyra…… would you marry me?”… flees in horror back to the safety of bad book cover land…

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @fred 14—it’s cool, man, you’re just peaking, it’ll chill down in a few minutes. We’re all here, reality is solid, see? Touch the walls, the keyboard, read @Fear 10, he understands, he’ll talk you down. It’s just a touch of fungus, bro’.

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Reminiscent of Ray Bradbury in that it is written in English.

  17. Bibliomancer Says:

    It’s the Independence Day holiday here in the States, so I would like to give a shout out to a book cover appropriate for the 4th of July.

  18. FeàrofMusiç Says:

    @Bibliomancer: I think it’s a holiday in the U.K. as well. Isn’t it “Good Riddance You Rude Ungrateful Bastards, You Just Fight The Indians Yourselves You Wankers,” Day? Can’t quite find the cover that embodies that though. Any suggestions?

  19. Bibliomancer Says:

    @FoM — How about this one.

  20. FeàrofMusiç Says:

    @Bibliomancer; That works quite nicely. I knew if there was an appropriate cover, you would be the one to know.

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Fear—I knew the ‘Mancer would find an appropriate cover. All I could come up with was HRH QE II’s Diamond Jubilee Photo Album. But I did want to ask, are you sure you want to imply that you folks didn’t spend a bit of time fighting “Indians” also?

    Anyway, good to see the whole “hands across the water” thing still holding up after all these years, even if we can ultimately blame you for the existence of Canada.

  22. FeàrofMusic Says:

    @B.Chiclitz: Actually I live here on the uncivilized side of yhe old ponde as well. My ancestors are Irish Traveller and Arcadian. Two marginalized groups for the price of one! Let me point out for our Brit friends, NOT a pikey. Thanks kindly.

  23. FeàrofMusiç Says:

    ACADIAN, not Arcadian. My ancestors weren’t from Greece.

    They’re from Canada. Yup, eh? The part of Canada that doesn’t like Canada.

    They were strange people. Thank God none of that got passed down..ehh.

  24. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @FoM—well, please forgive the error. The cadence and syntax somehow bespoke the olde country if not the auld sod. I well know those parts of Canada that don’t like Canada. I could tell a few stories of Montreal in the 70s, but as Marlowe so well put it, “But that was in another country, and besides . . . .”

    Anyway, I digress; back to bad SF covers!! Good Show, Sir!!

  25. Tat Wood Says:

    @B.Chiclitz… so, was it you who killed the wench or someone else?

  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat—well, I spoke figuratively. I should have made that clearer, or added “to me.”

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Now, ROB. Can you show us on Death Doll of Lyra where he /poked you?’

  28. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    C3PO’s off-brand cousin had dreams of being an erotic dancer, and occasionally, after the shop closes and everyone goes home, he pretends he has hips with which to gyrate furiously, and also that he wouldn’t make everyone run screaming in terror.

  29. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    I’m surprised no one has done this yet. I guess it’s up to me then.

    “Heyyyy….Macarena!”

  30. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    According to Wikipaedia, this is the same author of The Real Encounter, also on this site. She used the pseudonym for many of her works.

  31. Rachel J Says:

    Many of which belong right here. See for yourself: http://www.goodreads.com/author/list/285197.J_Hunter_Holly

  32. Tag Wizard Says:

    Well done, detectives. Diligence noted and tags merged.

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