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Aug 13

That's not how you eat a box of chocolates!Click for full image

Stephen Comments: Greybeard just get scarier the longer you look at it. Good book but hideous cover.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 8.94 out of 10)
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27 Responses to “Greybeard”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Looks like someone had the temerity to mention his arch-enemy Monty Don.

  2. Phil Says:

    Wispy beard, perhaps. But if I had to describe this fellow, I might say “You know, the guy with the creepy horns growing out of his cheeks and shoulder” rather than “the man with a beard which is grey to the exclusion of all other possible descriptors for it”.

    And is it me, or does the raven have a sinister human-style smile UNDERNEATH his birdy beak?

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Phil: and human hands.

  4. Tom Noir Says:

    Oh dear, gramps has swallowed a wooden block again!

  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    Horny old man.

  6. Tom Hering Says:

    How sad to see yet another middle-aged man sporting the outlaw look. But I know what he’s thinking. “Where’s that dog that stole my Harley? I’m gonna rip the fringed suede vest right off his hairy ass!”

  7. fred Says:

    I get the faint whiff of ‘Hothouse’ off of this cover. Must be the plants.

  8. NGpm Says:

    This is a look that says I’m choking on the brick I tried to swallow whole.

  9. Joachim Boaz Says:

    The fern in the middle of his chest makes him look like he has cleavage….

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The bird is a tiny human wearing a mask. The man is a lego piece. And what’s up with those mismatched eyes?

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    Allow me to complain.

    Having to wait for all of the comments to be moderated really puts a damper on any kind of witty banter.

    Also leads to a lot of duplicate observations since we can’t see what’s been posted already.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    It’s Fred I say Fred Elliott

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    NEVER eat your Weetabix without milk.

  14. Lionrock Says:

    “People are always asking me how I get and maintain that all day wispy look, and whether my cheek horns and neck block require any specific skin care regime, and do you know what? I tell them its all down to good healthy food, fresh air and a strong dose of batshit crazy and some anthropomorphic crow guano”

  15. random Donna Says:

    Brian Aldiss’s writing gives me mixed feelings, but this cover gives me an unmixed feeling of squeamishness. The only thing worse than reading this on the train would be seeing a guy who looks like this reading this on the train.

  16. Jaouad Says:

    Postapocalyptic Hemingway ahoy!

  17. Bibliomancer Says:

    @random Donna — Squeamish? How about sitting next to a guy who looks like this reading this book on a train and asking him what caused that stain on the cover?

  18. The Tag Wizard Says:

    @Bibliomancer (#11) – complaint upheld, I share the frustration! Here’s what’s been going on behind the scenes:

    A friendly arrangement with our server owner has allowed us to keep the site ad-free for 4½ years now. The downside that regs are well familiar with is a reduction in stability, typically when another site sends us major traffic, or when a security update doesn’t mesh well with the GSS backend (as happened most recently with the comment spam protection).

    So we’re looking at migration to an affordable, stable, secure host, and combining that move with an unobtrusive ad system to cover rental costs.

    If we could generate enough funds from a simple, single Amazon referral link in the side-bar (should the good people of GSS want to use it), a tip jar, and / or tasteful site sponsorship, that would be great. We’re open to suggestion and discussion.

    A move would also enable us to improve the site in other ways without fear of rending C.S. Lewis’ floating head in two.

    Meanwhile GSS Admin and I are checking in as often as possible so that we can all bask in the unfettered genius of each others’ observational comedy and industry commentary.

  19. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Tag Wizard — I’ve done a little googling on your traffic analysis and can appreciate that you might need to increase your cash flow. I’d be happy to put up with a few “Meet Russian Singles” or “DickPillz” ads (tastefully done, of course) to keep the site afloat. Am open to the other ideas you suggested.

    With enough income you could move upstairs and maybe hire a New Tag Wizard!

  20. The Tag Wizard Says:

    “This site is estimated worth of US Dollar $ 480.00 and have a daily income of around $ 2.00 US Dollar.”

    Daily income? Lol. A generous estimation.

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @TW, BM: shall we merge the two threads together?

    ‘Awright, let me get this straight, birdie. You say I can increase WHAT, HOW MANY inches?’

  22. Rags Says:

    LOL!

    Greybeard used the “DickPillz” link and despite the 1 pill per day warning, he decided to scarf the entire bottle instead. It lead to his brick-neck issue.

    He also used the ” Meet Russian Singles” link and he was shipped a 2 mouthed raven, as his ad asked for a svelt like brunette who is an amazing kisser.

    Win-Win!

  23. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Looking at this cover is an experience in wondering if maybe you have been drugged and things are just starting to kick in.

  24. Tom Noir Says:

    I’m sure some unobtrusive ads wouldn’t be the least bit problematic. Besides, I’m interested in finding out how to get rid of wrinkles with this one weird trick!

  25. Tat Wood Says:

    But please avoid the mistake made by the much-missed Superdickery, who put flashing ads IN FRONT OF the covers they’d posted up. Traffic stopped and the site hasn’t posted anything new for nearly five years.

    I suppose you could use them in lieu of sheep or CS Lewis.

    But @Tom Noir, the guy in the cover of Greybeard is trying the one weird trick, and look at the results.

  26. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Greybeard looks like he’s going to try to spear the crow with his cheek.

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I saw grey beard; I saw his wink;
    It’s Brian Aldiss, man!
    He swallowed up a Lego brick
    And pierced saliva gland;
    He’ll shrive my soul, he’ll wash right quick
    The Albatross’ hands!

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