Aug 30

Miss... please don't ride your horse through lava!Click for full image

Katie Comments: Memorably bad proportions.
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 5.73 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “Hawkmistress!”

  1. FëaröfMùsic Says:

    This looks exactly like the cover of a notebook of a twelve year old girl. From 1977. “There’s a princess, and a pony. And everyone loves HER. Because she’s very brave.”

  2. Jaouad Says:

    The ball bearings in her midriff were a hassle to maintain, but at least they allowed her to look back without turning her head.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    eHarmony has found a perfect match for Hawkmistress.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Napoleon called and he wants his horse back!

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Is that Harry Potter’s owl on her arm?

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR: WHAT arm??? :)

  8. Rags Says:

    Hark, someone doth calls out to me. I shall turn thusly in the saddle, in the most awkward and back destroying manoeuver I can accomplish without falling onto my face, whilst holding this hawk. Keep riding forward noble steed whilst I look back longingly towards nothing in particular.

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Unknown Artist’ Pshaw! That’s obviously Bruce Pennington in his ‘every planet is made of pastel-coloured coral or the middle of a well-sucked Crunchie bar’ period.
    Which must be why you posted it on a Friday. Thank Crunchie!

    I’m more puzzled about how long Neddy can hold that position without falling over – that tail must be really heavy to act as a counterweight.

  10. THX 1138 Says:

    You see, men? Multitasking.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat 9—title maybe should be: “Hawkmistress: A Fallover Novel.”

    “Hawkmistress”—is that a retelling of the Leda and the Swan myth? If so, perhaps not suitable for, well, anyone.

  12. fred Says:

    Amazing how the wind is affecting everything but the horses tail.

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Let’s make our rebellious tween heroine who’s disguised herself as a boy to keep from being raped into a blonde damsel in a skirt. Or tights. Or both! And then show her horse trampling a Dali canvas.

  14. Stevie T Says:

    @Dead Stuff: You mean the horse that, according to the summary you found, is supposed to be black?

  15. Rachel J Says:

    Yes, that horse is really disturbing to look at. It’s as if its front section is levitating.

    Ah, well, at least the cover designer left out the exclamation point. Not *all* interference is bad…

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I think there’s a face tree in the sand painting beneath the horse’s rear. At least I’m hoping it’s a sand painting . . .

  17. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Thanks Tat, it is very Penningtonesque.

    Rachel J, it must be the effects of the anti-gravitational lake of lava that the horse is melting its rear hooves on. Second deduction: Hawkmistress is made of wax.

  18. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    I see a giant dead lizard in the red sand.

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