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Mar 19

Blondes... the number one cause of erotic space crashes.Click for full image

OK OK we're lost... someone check the map for a giant naked woman.Click for full UNLEWISED image

Frank Comments: First we have The Star-Crowned Kings a Daw Books publication. I haven’t read it so don’t know what the lady-in-chain has to do with the story. But, I thought, she looks familiar, and I thought I knew where I’d seen her before: Up to the Sky in Ships, a NESFA Press collection of some of A. Bertram Chandler’s short stories.  Chandler and Freas were Guests of Honor at that year’s Worldcon, which was the occasion for the book. I guess it was thought that this would be offered to a more adult audience and so the model got to stand up for this painting, so we could all see that the lady-in-chain really is a blonde.
Star Crowned Kings published 1975
Up to the Sky in Ships published 1982

It’s dos-a-dos like an Ace Double and if you flip it over you see the cover for the other collection of shorts in the book, this one from Lee Hoffman.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of artI would touch it without protective glovesI have seen worse. Far, far worseInteresting, but I would still read it in publicMiddling: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lamé picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show, Sir.... Good Show! (Average: 6.80 out of 10)
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23 Responses to “The Star-Crowned Kings & Up to the Sky in Ships”

  1. Phil Says:

    Dear Mr Freas,

    Please be so kind as to rotate the lady slightly so as to conceal her ladybits, and paint in a bikini brief just in case.

    While you are about it, could you see your way to changing the spaceship to something a little less, shall we say, phallic?

    Yours,

    Donald A. Wollheim

  2. Phil Says:

    Incidentally, in the first photo I am amused by the strange fellow on the nearby book. He seems to be sneaking up on the main book, with leg curiously akimbo. What is THAT book, and can it be featured on GSS tomorrow, please?

  3. Tat Wood Says:

    In the first one, that’s a heck of a long chain she’s got on her bath-plug and a very impractical loofah. The second shows the risks of cheap bath-salts; she’s gone blue and the bubbles are glowing.

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    “Mmm. I love snuggling up in my cosy shackles of bondage!”

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Up to the Sky in a Quim?

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I’m terribly upset…I unlewis’d the image, and I expected to see something like the fellow on the Lee Hoffman cover. Well, it didn’t meet up to my expectations. I don’t know that ‘disappointed’ is quite my feeling, but I think I’ll just sit here and have a cup and look out the window.

  7. fearofmusic Says:

    a little b&d in my sf is a-ok with me. nsfw imo. but, well as they say wicahis. ikr?

  8. Danosaur Says:

    Lady in chains, I adore you.

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Star-Crowned Kings” indeed. It’s C.S. Lewis doing the crowning on the second cover.

  10. rev Says:

    Personally I prefer the first lady. She is only missing an eye, whilst the other is missing her entire face. It would be too weird, although she would make a lot less noise… ummm…I think I’ll change my vote.

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The covers that put the “science” OUT OF science fiction.

  12. fred Says:

    Why is the bottom ship being chased by comets?

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred: it’s not being chased, and those are spermatozoa. :|

  14. THX 1138 Says:

    Is there anything worse than finding a pubic hair in a second hand book, I ask you?

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @THX: watching someone put one there?

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Phil 2—I think that strange fellow is comparing restraint techniques with our cover damsel.

  17. rev Says:

    @Phil – That strange book is called Bard, part of a series by Keith Taylor. According to reviews it is quite good.
    The odd fellow is called Felimid and he is… a bard. Spoilers.

  18. Phil Says:

    @rev – get a picture of BARD. It belongs here in its full glory!

  19. rev Says:

    @phil – I’ll keep my eyes peeled. I don’t own a copy.

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    I had a quick shufti: the best image I could find for this edition is this http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_kw=Bard+Keith+Taylor+Paperback (It may be a side-effect of the small market but I have yet to hear anyone say anything bad about Australian fantasy authors. The covers aren’t always much to write home about, though).

  21. Frank Says:

    @Phil: Our Good Host’s slush pile is vast and deep and things can sit in it for most of a year, especially if OGH needs to get Space Sheep or C.S. Lewis in to provide modesty services.

    Looks like I shot “The Star-Crowned Kings” on 08 March 2013 and that book to the left was Keith Taylor’s “Bard”, Ace 1982, Don Maitz cover art. I shot that too but the picture was a bit blurry and I don’t think I sent it in.

  22. Ken Shinn Says:

    While I’ve seen a lot of obvious masturbatory material on old SF/horror/fantasy paperback covers, it’s usually been purely topless stuff. This is the first full-on full-frontal nude that I’ve seen on such things.

    I feel both enlightened, and oddly dirty.

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    There’s an In and Out Quandary near our old flat. You can have your sheets washed with a quid. :D

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