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Oct 16

There is just so much wrong here!Click for the UNSHEEPED image

Good Show Sir Comments: Not as handsome as Sos the Rope, but more of a ladies man.
Published 1975

Check out Var’s friend Sos on the back cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)
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25 Responses to “Var the Stick”

  1. Perry Armstrong Says:

    The difference in scale makes this look seriously creepy…

    Definitely not a cover I’d want to be seen with in public. Or have in my house. Or knowingly reside in the same town with.

  2. SI Says:

    I wonder if he is another assassin type like Sos the Rope but uses… a stick!

    One of the great hired killers like:

    John the Cyanide & Keith the Evelvator Shaft

  3. anon Says:

    Rivett Shack – Piers thy anon
    or
    Thicker Vats – Nothin’s Rapey

  4. fred Says:

    He’s got 2 sticks so he really should be known as Var the Sticks. He probably set fire to the temple in the background by rubbing them together. Also wassup with the right foot of Miss February.

  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    Is that supposed to be a pond behind him? Looks like a ground-level trampoline.

    If I were Patrick Woodroffe, I would have let the “unknown artist” take credit for this one.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Var, seriously, pull the tunic down a few inches.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—I think it’s a putting green, but I wouldn’t lay any money on him given the golf club he’s using.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B.Chiclitz – In that case she might be the lady golfer. And Var would be the caddy.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Sos the Rope, Var the Stick, and on the back cover…Impale the Parietal.

  10. THX 1138 Says:

    Soon to be Var the Sticky.

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    @THX 1138 – Var the Stink

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    It looks like Var the Pogo Stick.

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    VAR THE F***??

  14. Tom Noir Says:

    Person the Object.

  15. Tat Wood Says:

    Billy the Fish
    Mac the Knife
    Jimmy the Hoover (woh-oh-ee-yeh-yeh)
    Dave the Cardboard Box
    Jones the Steam
    (Actually, that last one’s probably the clue: Var the Stick is about the thirtieth ‘Var’ to have been born in his village of unimaginative namers that year so any distinguishing feature of profession is handy for disambiguation purposes, like in cliched Welsh pit-villages).

    Or maybe he is just famous for not driving an automatic.

  16. anon Says:

    @Tom Noir: More like Three-letter-syllable the Object.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Tom the Noir’ sounds rather boss…

  18. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Minnie the Moocher

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Help Var find way to NRA convention?”

  20. DaveM Says:

    So, Var the Stick, Sos the Rope, and Sol the ???.

    Thinking “Ball”, that way:

    Var: “Stick!”
    Sos: “Rope!”
    Sol: “Ball!”

    “When your powers combine, I am Captain Tether-ball!”

  21. Tat Wood Says:

    Bob the Builder

  22. Anna T. Says:

    This cover just screams “Old-Time Monster Movie Poster With Damsel in Distress in the Monster’s Arms”.

    Creepy either way.

  23. Tor Mented Says:

    15.) “Or maybe he is just famous for not driving an automatic.”

    Var the Stick might be related to Threeon the Tree.

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Can we get a retroactive “anatomical issues” tag?

  25. Tor Mented Says:

    Var the stick? Why, thar the stick.

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