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Oct 13

Is that a space lobster crawling into the hot tub?Click for full image

Young Flandry and his sister-wives, Mormon missionaries to the Terran Empire.

Published 2010

You might remember Flandry from here

and here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)
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26 Responses to “Young Flandry”

  1. Tat Wood Says:

    If he stays crouched in that position any longer than ten seconds he’ll get cramp in all the worst places a boy can get cramp in that kind of situation. Not even the octopus masseur in the pool could help him.

  2. fred Says:

    No other comments necessary. BAEN mocked for charity.
    http://jimhines.livejournal.com/667303.html

  3. SI Says:

    Oh man… that link Fred. SO good!

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    Hey @Tag Wizard – how about a “Pussy Galore” tag?

  5. Tag Wizard Says:

    Hey Bibliomancer – how about we reinstate comment moderation?

  6. Anna T. Says:

    Judging solely by the cover, this book looks like a low-quality James Bond ripoff. And then you see the Baen logo and realize that no, wait, this is Science Fiction . . . that you’re not at all interested in reading, because of the excess of Scantily Clad Women™.

    It must be terribly dull working in the Baen Art Department.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I got the “big gun”
    It’s standing proud
    My “rocket” ‘s rising
    Straight up into the clouds
    Over-compensatin’
    Savin’ my love for you.

  8. anon Says:

    Donna Leprous
    Funny Old Gary
    Imploded by Cash Knaiv
    “Son of scientific genius: Mi chica es un geco.” — Action Tunes Sheet
    The Zilch Citi vice nation saga

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    Chances that there is anything in this book half so salacious as what is on the cover = .000000031%

  10. Perry Armstrong Says:

    That rocket launching in the background – it’s Moonraker!

  11. THX 1138 Says:

    Stupid sexy Flandry!

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred: I feel dirty, yet strangely intrigued…

  13. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Mission Report: 007
    The Hugo Drax Affair
    Conclusion: Bond failed to prevent launch of the Moonraker missile in time, as a consequence of his pathological obsession for pausing to take selfies with lingerie models.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Woman 1: “Dominic, please put away that gun, relax and have some fun. Are you overcompensating again?”

    Flandry: “Overcompensating? What’re you insinuating? This is about the size of my wiener, isn’t it? There’s nothing wrong with it! NOTHING!!”

    Woman 2: “Then why are you unscrewing the silencer… and screwing on another silencer twice as big?”

    Flandry: “Can’t a man attend to his gun in peace? Does everything have to ‘mean’ something? Lay off! I have a headache.”

    Woman 3 (sighs): “Why am I not surprised… girls, let’s go to the sauna and party while Dominic here tries to make his ‘gun’ look bigger.”

    Woman 4: “Bye, Dominic! Don’t drop your gun in the pool!”

    Flandry: “Yeah, yeah, go away. Why would I dr…” *SPLASH* “DAMMIT!!”

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    @ A.R.Yngve – an epic retelling. As Young Flandry got older, Captain Flandry lowered his ambitions to disappointing only one woman instead of four.

  16. Chinese GSS Says:

    Chinese T.S. Eliot says: “young man with big silencer on gun, things end not with a bang,
    but a whimper.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Chinese TS Eliot says: The moonlight shines on Mrs. Porter/And on her daughter/And on her two other daughters/They wash their feet in glacial melt water

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    What she said to Flandry: “Hurry up please, it’s time.”

  19. Lumbermouth Says:

    IT’S YA BOY YOUNG FLANDRY
    READY TO DROP THE HOTTEST MIXTAPE OF 2998

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    I want to know who shelved this next to ‘Essential Topology’.

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tat: I’d explain why, but then the Tag Wizard would insist all comments be moderated…

  22. anon Says:

    @DSWBT: I think mode-rating all comments would be quite interesting.
    Not doing it, just to be clear, but seeing the results.

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    This type of cover needs a new subject tag:

    “TW” (Tiny Wiener)

  24. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat 20—I appreciate Dead Stuff’s scruples, but let’s just get it out there: if two forms have the same number of holes they are equivalent. This is the famous coffee mug-to-donut example in topology, and I suspect in some way it applies to Flandry’s world as well.

    Full disclosure: I am pretty illiterate in math (innumerate?), but I always remember this example from a math for idiots class I took in college.

  25. anon Says:

    Is this what they call a shelfie?

  26. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Listen, Flandry… They’re playing your song!
    “AA-AND IIII-EEE-IIIIII… WILL AALL-WAYS LOVE GUU-UUU-UUUNSS…”

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