Feb 09
Click for full imageTom Noir Comments: I’ll save you some time looking this up: the title is an anagram for RACIER THIGHS BATTLE FEZ FOE.
Published 1983
(Average: 7.65 out of 10)
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Tom Noir Comments: I’ll save you some time looking this up: the title is an anagram for RACIER THIGHS BATTLE FEZ FOE.
Published 1983
(Average: 7.65 out of 10)Loading...
(9.25 out of 10) (9.18 out of 10) (9.01 out of 10) (8.97 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10) (8.93 out of 10) (8.92 out of 10) (8.88 out of 10) (8.88 out of 10)
Lastest Tweet
February 9th, 2016 at 11:36 am
I’ve seen this pose before: http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=8311
February 9th, 2016 at 11:51 am
She has the typical number of bosoms now.
February 9th, 2016 at 11:53 am
That looks like a Predator trapped in lava on the right.
February 9th, 2016 at 11:55 am
@Tom: ‘RACIER THIGHS BATTLE FEZ FOE’ is now my headcanon title for ‘Dr Who: The Big Bang’.
February 9th, 2016 at 12:04 pm
It appears that her right forearm is measurably skinnier than the palm of her right hand in profile.
February 9th, 2016 at 12:45 pm
If Anne McCaffrey genuinely read every book she blurbed it’s no wonder she outsourced writing her own novels
February 9th, 2016 at 1:40 pm
‘How many engines can you put on a spaceship?’
‘Well, my feeling is…if it doesn’t have engines, it should have insect bits.’
‘Bet you can’t make a fleet of spaceships out of just engines and insect bits.’
‘You’re on! And the loser has to solicit the blurb.’
February 9th, 2016 at 1:55 pm
“Oh Gawd, it’s the wife!”
February 9th, 2016 at 2:08 pm
Flash helps Princess Aura escape the attack of the Space 1999 Eagle variants.
February 9th, 2016 at 2:46 pm
@TagWizard: in contradistinction to last week, shouldn’t that be ‘BEHIND YOU!’ instead of simply ‘behind’?
February 9th, 2016 at 2:57 pm
@DSWBT – All things that are “BEHIND YOU!” are also “behind” but not everything “behind” is “BEHIND YOU!”
Just kidding. Tag fixed.
February 9th, 2016 at 3:18 pm
Thanks @Tag W.—I needed a koan to reorient myself after looking at this cover.
February 9th, 2016 at 3:19 pm
Good grief. Some people will use any old excuse to cop a feel.
February 9th, 2016 at 3:21 pm
“Oh no! We’re trapped on one of Saturn’s moons! Surely the cold and lack of atmosphere will kill us within seconds??”
“Don’t worry, girl! For we are in Pulp Space, where every moon everywhere is habitable and women are required to walk around without spacesuits!
“So why are YOU not half-naked, Buster?”
“Err… um… Pulp Space rules.”
February 9th, 2016 at 3:25 pm
“No wonder I can’t fix this gun. You handed me the Moroni ratchet instead of the Gabriel ratchet!”
“But I thought you said you needed a ‘five’ ratchet. That’s the Moroni.”
“Fool, I said the ‘fize’ ratchet! You are so dumb. I can’t figure out why you’re so popular.”
“Rillly?”
February 9th, 2016 at 3:25 pm
@TW: /me is AFK (head asplode)
February 9th, 2016 at 4:33 pm
Was “Fize” supposed to be “Five”, or is “Fize of the Gabriel Ratchets” actually the name of one of the characters? If so, where’s the Gabriel Ratchets and how do you come to be from there? And was the damsel rescued from a cabaret?
@Perry, Tom: If I get reminded of your “RACIER THIGHS BATTLE FEZ FOE” anagram the next time I watch “The Big Bang” and end up giggling uncontrollably, I blame both of you.
February 9th, 2016 at 4:47 pm
He must have to stop every 100 meters to polish his boots to a high glossy shine.
February 9th, 2016 at 10:45 pm
Contemplating the title (‘Fize of the Gabriel Ratchets’) and other works (‘The Seren Cenacles’) I am led to wonder whether Warren Norwood is a pseudonym of Dr. Roland Chevalier, best-selling author of the Cyborg Harpies and the Yeast Lords.
“This is a piece that came to me in a dream when I was eleven. I call it migration, and it depicts a fleet of harpies synchronizing their mammary cannons to create laser rain. Hard rain’s gonna fall.”
February 9th, 2016 at 11:20 pm
If that’s how the artist interprets Gerard Manley Hopkins, imagine what’s he’d do with Swinburne.
February 10th, 2016 at 2:03 am
Is this book the sequel to “The Windhover tapes: Fozr of the Michael wrenches”?
February 10th, 2016 at 3:05 am
@Tag Wizard – Thank you for the “gibberish title” tag. Now I can stop trying to figure out what Fize means.
@Tat Wood – Nice literary reference. I shudder to think what Hopkins (my favorite poet) would think of the title being applied to this story.
The blurb quote says that the hero has an obscured past. What about this cover is not obscure…
February 10th, 2016 at 9:28 am
O. Worndown Rear
Gabriel’s Pet Hat: Seize the Wind of the Hovercraft
February 10th, 2016 at 9:43 am
When I opened the page, I read Size of the Gabriel Ratchets instead of Fize.
Makes you wonder…
March 1st, 2016 at 1:52 am
Is he wearing falsies?
March 1st, 2016 at 2:05 am
@Elvirai: If you’re old enough to remember ‘The Banana Splits Show’ that almost makes sense.
“Rosan Bikini-ar…”
April 10th, 2016 at 12:53 am
I’ve been trying to make a Fize of the Gabriel Ratchets/Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald joke since February, I’m officially giving up. 🙁
April 5th, 2018 at 12:28 pm
@Dead Stuff (#27).
The legend lives on from the spacemen on down
Of the big moon they called Dione.
The moon, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the rings of Saturn look lonely.
With iridium ore twenty-six isotons more
Than the “Gabriel Ratchets” massed empty
That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
When the Insectoid Reavers struck early.
Shall I go on? I fear it’s going to be a tragic tale.😢
April 5th, 2018 at 6:40 pm
@RachelJ: Making fun of a bad song is okay, but could you have picked one that isn’t about people dying? Like say, ‘MacArthur Park’?
Someone left the Rachets out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to find a girl who’d let me do this
And I’ll never have that gun again
Oh no!
April 6th, 2018 at 1:10 am
@B’mancer way back at (1):
Egads. That really *was* traced by the later blobby pastel book, wasn’t it? Just with flannel jammies instead of bikinis and a smaller handgun.
@Rachel, FGK: GSS! Certainly the appropriate reaction to this “art” and the gibberish title is a heartfelt “oh nooooooo”.
April 6th, 2018 at 12:35 pm
@FluffyGhostKitten. Maybe it wasn’t in the best of taste- but blame Dead Stuff! He started it!
April 6th, 2018 at 7:06 pm
@RachelJ: I understand, it’s a terrible song, what with that Pink Floyd knockoff intro and all. It’s just that my dear, sweet mother will smack me with a lefse paddle if I make fun of dead people and/or Gordon Lightfoot. (And I do think mocking drowned sailors is kinda gauche.)
April 6th, 2018 at 11:04 pm
I think making fun of the *song8 is entirely all right. It is pretty naff. Not sure if it’s how the sailors would have wanted to be commemorated, either — a Top 40 droning dirge that repeats the same 4 lines (or is it 2?) over and over and over? Their surviving relatives must have avoided the radio for ages.
Would like to hear more McA Park, though. And since DSWBT has abandoned us, we can blame a lot on him.
I see this has another nonsensical McCaffrey blurb. Obscured past? It’s got a Space Sheep, a Lewis head, tasteful smoke, or a price tag over it? Why the final letter?
Which one’s Fize?
April 7th, 2018 at 10:17 am
@GSS ex-noob. Don’t know. How do you suppose you pronounce it? Fyze? Feez? Fi-ZAY?
April 30th, 2018 at 11:40 pm
Having met the gentleman while he still lived (d. 2005?), can guarantee W. Norwood was not a pseudonym for some wannabe Texan. Warren was the real, honest-to-Ghu thing, a Texan who wrote … err, strange things.
The Windhover Tapes are an interesting read overall, and have held up far better than many other novels writ in the same timeframe. Well worth the read, esp. if you have memory issues (and these days, who does not?)
May 1st, 2018 at 3:13 am
@RachelJ: I’m going with “fyze” (like “fie on this cover! no, it’s so bad I give it two fies!” but I doubt it matters.
Norwood was his real name, btw, though publishers sometimes got his middle initial wrong. Wiki isn’t sure if he’s notable enough, alas.
May 1st, 2018 at 5:19 pm
Here is a little background on the meaning of the Gabriel Ratchets.
I amaze myself what I learn hanging around GSS. Now if I can just figure out what a Fize is.
May 1st, 2018 at 8:22 pm
It just occurred to me that “Tapes” in the title means there will still be analog media in the distant future.
Some people just like the warmer sound.
May 1st, 2018 at 10:27 pm
@ Bibliomancer—tu optimus omnium scholar 😉
I am fascinated to learn that the yelping of these hounds is “unearthly.” I guess that’s why they are GSS-worthy!
May 2nd, 2018 at 3:29 am
So who’s got analog tapes of Northern English night-calling birds (mistaken for yelping hounds) in the future where scantily-clad chicks cling to heavily-armed dudes on the moon of a gas giant? And why?
And what’s a “fyze”, that a Gabriel Ratchet might have one?
No wonder yon damsel looks so askance.
May 2nd, 2018 at 4:51 am
@Bibliomancer. Well, well. I’d heard of “Gabriel Hounds”, but “Ratchets” is a new one on me.
So what’s the scenario? They wanted to be known as “THE HELLHOUNDS”, but it turned out the name was already taken?
May 3rd, 2018 at 4:14 am
Sure. By the time of the starship and zap gun future, so many things are going to be copyrighted and trademarked that you gotta go more obscure.
Still doesn’t explain fyze.
May 5th, 2018 at 5:19 pm
Some googling reveals that there is a French sociologist named Michel Fize, who probably doesn’t have a lot to do with hell-hounds. I was kind of wondering if there was a meaning to the title buried somewhere in Gerard Manley Hopkins’ poetry, but I’d need to be much more of a Hopkins reader to find out. Also, probably, need to read the Norwood book.
May 5th, 2018 at 5:28 pm
Um, no. Having discovered that there is an on-line concordance to the works of GMH, I am now able to say that “Fize”, “Gabriel” and “Ratchets” do not occur in them. Back to the drawing board.
May 6th, 2018 at 2:29 am
@Longtime_lurker: Good research, though!
I think we can conclude that Mr. Norwood made up the word “Fyze” and we’ll never know what it meant unless Khye comes back and tells us.
This link explains Gabriel Ratchets, but no mention of Fyze
https://www.fantasticfiction.com/n/warren-c-norwood/fize-of-gabriel-ratchets.htm
This link doesn’t help, but it comes from a book that I found so interesting I spent a lot of time reading the other content
https://books.google.com/books?id=NK6ZpTLtQv4C&pg=PA212&lpg=PA212&dq=The+Windhover+Tapes:+Fize+of+the+Gabriel+Ratchets&source=bl&ots=On-_Z-3DNj&sig=Saoi_iAG4p6KT4nXxhjOWM0sy_g&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjPwOGc9u_aAhVh2oMKHSRtAq04HhDoAQgoMAA#v=onepage&q=The%20Windhover%20Tapes%3A%20Fize%20of%20the%20Gabriel%20Ratchets&f=false
May 6th, 2018 at 7:04 am
@GSS ex-noob, I refuse to believe this is genuine:
“Return with contract diplomat Gerard Manley to the lost decade before the exciting adventures recorded in the Windhover Tapes. Recapture the intrigue, treachery and passion of his years as Consort to Fairy Peg, ruler of the Ribble Galaxy, and supreme Commander of the elite fighting force known as the Gabriel Ratchets.”
Own up. You hacked the site, didn’t you?
May 6th, 2018 at 9:18 am
OK, I’m taking the nuclear option. I just went on Amazon and ordered all 4 books. Not expensive if you stay away from the optimists asking £25 a copy. Assuming I can actually bring myself to read them I will shortly be able to say what it is supposed to mean, at least.
May 6th, 2018 at 1:18 pm
@Longtime_Lurker You read my mind- I literally came back to say, hey, somebody has to track down a copy!
This book is the gift that keeps on giving, all right. We finally resolve the meaning of one piece of gibberish, only to have another take its place.
Fairy Peg, ruler of the Ribble Galaxy???!!!
May 6th, 2018 at 4:54 pm
Fortunately, this title does not seem to offer the range of opportunities that The Doom etc did. The Fairy Peg that Came to Sarnath? The Doom that Came to the Ribble Galaxy? No way.
May 6th, 2018 at 6:32 pm
The Mushroom that Came to the Ribble Galaxy!
May 7th, 2018 at 5:02 am
@RachelJ: It wasn’t me! If I’d hacked it, I’d have picked less-stupid names! And said “Intr-oyg”.
Perhaps Fairy Peg O’Ribble had some kind of speech impediment, or named everything using random Scrabble tiles. Fize! Ribble! Mrifk!
@Longtime_Lurker: godspeed and I hope it’s not too painful.
May 7th, 2018 at 3:31 pm
When the book arrives, I’ll reveal all that I find out (that is, if I can actually bear to read the thing).
May 11th, 2018 at 2:39 pm
I hope the Ribble galaxy features the Settle Spiral arm, the West Bradford wormhole and the Preston abyss.
May 13th, 2018 at 8:50 pm
And Mornington Crescent.
(Who will probably be a person or an alien and not crescent-shaped)
May 14th, 2018 at 4:15 pm
This is another gift that keeps on giving–only 9 more comments and we have a Bokrug (http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=9311).
May 15th, 2018 at 12:16 am
@L_l: has your copy of this masterpiece arrived yet?
Although now I’m afraid it might ruin the fun if/when we learn what a “Fize” is.
Still, we must always go on searching for the truth behind the lurid covers.
I guess that’s Fairy Peg O’Ribble on the cover? She doesn’t seem to have the confidence needed to become ruler of an entire galaxy, even a stupidly-named one. Maybe she needed the manly Manley and his Ratchets to do it.
May 15th, 2018 at 4:05 pm
Sorry, I don’t live in the country where my mail gets delivered, and the 2 are about 3000 miles apart. Going to pick up the mail next week tho.
May 15th, 2018 at 9:06 pm
Wow, that’s dedication! Safe travels.
Referring to my last comment, “Manly Manley and his Ratchets” is obviously the name of a terrible band.
May 25th, 2018 at 4:10 pm
Hi all. I now have all 4 of the Windhover Tapes books. Naturally I began with Fize of the whatever’s. I’m now about one-third of the way through. So far:
1. I still don’t know what the Fize is, but the Gabriel Ratchets are indeed some sort of personal guard for Princess Peg.
2. Princess Peg is young and gorgeous and she and our hero have the hots for each other in a really serious way. There have already been several episodes of serious hanky-panky.
3. Warren N could have used a good editor. In at least one place he has “Gerard Ratchets” instead of “Gabriel Ratchets”, probably confused by a reference to Our Hero in the line above.
4. There’s poetry, purportedly by Our Hero. My devotion to Science didn’t extend to reading it. I’ll stick to the poetry of Our Hero’s near namesake, thanks.
5. One detects a certain strain of cynicism on GSS about blurbs by Anne McCaffrey, may she rest in peace. My reading of this book has so far given me no reason to question that cynicism.
Actually, I think Ray P, back around #19, was about right.
All in all, I wouldn’t be reading this book except in the interests of science. But, ever persevering, I will finish the bloody thing (and hopefully find out what the Fize is) and then you can all owe me a beer.
May 25th, 2018 at 7:07 pm
@LL – Perhaps the “Fize” in the title is a typo? Can’t wait till you finish the book to find out.
May 29th, 2018 at 3:56 am
@LL: Sounds like we’ll owe you more than a beer. Wonder what beverages got you an Anne McCaffrey blurb.
How did the Ratchets get their name? Gerard-or-was-that-Gabriel just outta the blue named them for yelping bird/hounds? And in this future, people don’t see the word “ratchet” and think of socket wrenches that only crank in one direction?
At least it seems to be a mutual relationship betwixt Gerard and Fairy Peg, which you don’t always get in books with this type of cover. Guess she liked bad poetry.
There’s only so much one should suffer for Science. Quit when you learn WTF a “Fize” is.
May 29th, 2018 at 12:58 pm
Mutual? You bet! if anything Fairy P initiated it. She is definitely the boss. I was going to say she wears the pants, but …
May 29th, 2018 at 1:09 pm
Re McCaffrey blurbs: I’ve just glanced at the back cover of “An Image of Voices” and seen that there was a bit more blurb. I quote:
“I’ve known of Warren’s ambition … for four years. I sure as hell never suspected he could write like THIS! Twelve years ago, when I finished reading Stanislaw Lem’s “Solaris”, I was similarly awed by an originality of alien sentience and other-worldliness, of the fragility of personal awareness and of the struggle of maintaining personal identity.”
I’ve read “Solaris”. I was not similarly awed by Mr Norwood.
May 29th, 2018 at 1:37 pm
Now finished the first book. Last word on the Gabriel Ratchets: “… the Gabriel Ratchets. A highly disciplined, uniquely trained unit of sadists, assigned as the permanent Royal Guard. The toughest, meanest, most deadly group of misfits ever produced by three species and seven races.”.
May 29th, 2018 at 2:41 pm
But… isn’t ratchets what you get if you don’t have enough nutrition?
May 29th, 2018 at 6:10 pm
@THX: That’s rickets, specifically if you don’t get Vitamin D. Ratchets is what you get when you mix an over-ambitious writer, a visually-impaired editor, and a deadline in three days.
May 30th, 2018 at 12:11 am
@L_L: So you never found out who or what the hell a Fize is? Ripoff!
And Our Hero just decided to call the royal guard “Gabriel Ratchets” and no tough guy asked, “dude, what the heck are those? Isn’t Royal Guard a better name for us?”
Apparently nobody had any blood going to their brain; too much on Fairy Peg’s charms.
June 8th, 2018 at 6:31 pm
@Longtime Lurker – I chanced upon a copy of FotGR at my local paperback shoppe and bought it on the spot. Here is a photo of the front endpaper.
As custom requires, our Consort will be trained immediately. On the day of Conclusion, he will be presented to the Noble Assembly as Fize of the Gabriel Ratchets.
Gerard was stunned. It was one thing to be lover to the Ruler of the Seven Systems, quite another to Supreme Commander of the Gabriel Ratchets.
This approximates what is inside on page 65. So, as was discussed on the other book post, Fize = Supreme Commander.
June 8th, 2018 at 7:58 pm
My goodness, it’s on my copy too. Now you know what happens if you try to read the books: your brain freezes up. Never thought to read the endpaper, did I? I’m glad it’s settled anyway. But we never worked out where he got the word from.
June 8th, 2018 at 8:48 pm
@LL – I liked your idea that it was kind of connected with “vizier”. I was thinking that it could also be related to “fiz” or “phiz” which I though meant “head”. Looking it up though, “fiz” seems to mean “face”. As to where he got the word from, probably out of his “arze”.
June 8th, 2018 at 11:34 pm
@B’mancer, LL: So it still remains a mystery, even though we sussed out the meaning. Fize. Perhaps it came up in his alphabet soup, or he drew Scrabble tiles.
LL, sorry for your brain.
As to the blurb on the endpaper: Anne, it ain’t the plot intricacies that are leaving readers breathless.
June 9th, 2018 at 12:54 am
Somebody head over to the University of North Texas and paw through their 63 boxes of Warren Norwood papers. Look in Box 9, Folder 1. There’s an “editor’s glossary” for Fize of the Gabriel Ratchets that wasn’t included in the book. Hey, ex-noob, you in da neighborhood?
June 9th, 2018 at 4:22 am
@Bibliomancer—Once again GSS Scholar Extraordinaire! But I’m more interested in Folder 3, with the “Coffee stain through pages 384-398.” That’s some coffee stain. Sounds like that glossary was taking its toll on old Warren there.
June 9th, 2018 at 7:41 am
BM: just out of curiosity, how much did you have to spring for the book?
June 9th, 2018 at 1:40 pm
@LL – half the cover price.
June 10th, 2018 at 5:22 am
@B’mancer: Nowhere near, alas. No friends near enough to ask, either. I wonder if there’s any way to contact someone there at UNT and ask them to get a scan or Xerox of just the glossary? Or just to look at it and write down what, if any, it says about Fize and Ratchets in the glossary.
Wonder if we could send lunch money to some student to get them to go in and consult Box 9 for us? Put an ad on Craigslist or Facebook? (neither of which I actually know how to use)
June 10th, 2018 at 2:54 pm
@GSSxN – I don’t think it is as easy as walking in to the library and looking in the box. I think the materials are stored offsite and you have to request them in advance. Although an email communication with a librarian might get them interested enough to look into the glossary to see if it’s relevant. My guess is it only says fize = leader with no etymology. Or is it entomology?
June 10th, 2018 at 8:36 pm
@B’mancer: If it’s entomology, then the library isn’t storing things correctly!
Whilst reading “No Time to Spare” (Ursula K. LeGuin’s last book of essays), I discovered that “windhover” is a fancy archaic name for “kestrel”.
So Mr. Norwood liked him some obscure English terms when he wasn’t pulling FIZE outta his arze.
June 11th, 2018 at 3:33 pm
As we mentioned somewhere above, Norwood liked Gerard Manley Hopkins (hence the names of Our Hero and his space ship).
The Windhover
“I caught this morning’s minion, king-
dom of daylight’s dauphin, dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding
of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding
High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
In his ecstasy! then off, off forth on swing
As a skate’s head sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding
Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding
Stirred for a bird,–the achieve of, the mastery of the thing!
Brute beauty and valour and act, oh, air, pride, plume, here
Buckle! AND the fire that breaks from thee then, a billion
Times more lovelier, more dangerous, oh my chevalier!
No wonder of it: shéer plód makes plough down sillion
Shine, and blue-bleak embers, ah my dear,
Fall, gall themselves, and gash gold-vermilion.”
Nicely demonstrates Hopkins’ use of obscure words and idiosyncratic combinations of words. Better than Mr Norwood’s poetry, with all due respect. I could type the first couple of lines without looking it up, but had to go to the bookshelf for the rest. The punctuation and odd capitalisation is as per the printed version in Ricks’ Oxford Book of English Verse.
June 11th, 2018 at 3:35 pm
Sorry, couldn’t help myself. I’ve loved that poem ever since high school, which was [mumble mumble] years ago.
June 12th, 2018 at 1:55 am
@LL: Quite all right, you deserve something nice after all your sacrifices.
It’s more florid than I usually like, but has some lovely images of the bird at dawn. He obviously studied them a lot.
December 20th, 2018 at 1:45 am
I really think you’re all thinking about this way too hard. Here is how the title surely came about:
SCENE – BAR INTERIOR
BARTENDER: Jeebus Warren, you need to slow down. That’s your third of my new specialty mixed drinks tonight, and I make ’em pretty potent! You drinking to forget?
WARREN NORWOOD, AUTHOR: *heavily inebriated* Nah… I’m just shtuck. I mean stuck. My publisher wants me to write another hazel… navel… novel… in my sexy intergalactic Windhover Tapes series, but I’m all outta ideas!
BARTENDER: Have you tried reading acclaimed poet Gerard Manley Hopkins for inspiration?
WARREN N: Oh yeah. But I think my moose… zoose… I mean muse… has run dry. Speaking of dry, gimme another fize of these delicious Garbled Rockets!
BARTENDER: Do you mean five more of my Gabriel Ratchets? No way, Warren! I’m cutting you off.
WARREN N: *excitedly* THAT’S IT!!!
And, scene!
May 27th, 2019 at 8:01 pm
It’s not the fize of the Gabriel Ratchets that counts.