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May 26

Asinine InfirmityClick for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Your assignment: be harangued by the author for all eternity with his opinions on government, religion and the individual.

Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.77 out of 10)
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26 Responses to “Assignment in Eternity”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Captain Kirk is tired of your phony fireworks! Actually, it might be Picard.

  2. Ray P Says:

    The couple should be naked.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    FINALLY a take on Cortana that isn’t exploitive!

    Something is very, very wrong with their hands, and her arm as well. I think she can scratch her patella without bending.

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @RayP: Only in the sense that it would make the cover even more Heinleinian than it already is. 😛

  5. Ray P Says:

    Good job Heinlein’s hands cannot be seen.

  6. Perry Armstrong Says:

    “You will gather laurel leaves! Light the ancient fires! Kill a deer! Make your sacrifices to me! Heinlein has spoken!”

  7. Ray P Says:

    Will Sean Connery pop out of old Bob’s mouth?

    The glaucoma in Heinlein’s eye.

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    Jealous of his colleague L. Ron Hubbard, Heinlein forms his own lucrative cult religion.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    What do you think, a blonde Jamie Lee Curtis or a blonde Charlotte Rampling?

  10. fred Says:

    Two virgins are sacrificed every year to appease the Great Heinlein in hopes he will stay his mighty wrath because another year passed without ‘A Stranger In A Strange Land’ being made into a motion picture.

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    And lo, on the day that Dave Clarke’s ‘Time’ was relaunched in a mash-up with ‘Dancing on Ice: Supermodel Edition’ the Lord your God spake. And he did say: ‘that’s it, I’m opening a Tenth Circle. Honestly, you people!’

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Bobby, I know I optioned Stranger in a Strange Land five years ago, and I promise you one day it’ll get produced, just not now. But let me tell you, this Eternity Assignment thing is gonna be a big, big hit! Only thing, Bobby, the cover, you know, maybe it’s just a bit too . . . too? Here’s what we’re going with instead. Cool, huh?”

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    @B.Chicltz: somehow, Heinlein saying that ‘the penis is evil’ doesn’t strike me as very likely.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat Wood—Good Point, Sir! Perhaps this would be more appropriate.

  15. Anna T. Says:

    Foreground: A pair of slightly deformed hot young things in approximations of ancient Greek dress striking poses that are only possible with out-of-frame handholds, and remind me of That Stupid Boat Movie. It also makes me think they may be performing in some kind of musical, mid-song.

    Background: A Greek-style temple in front of a small mountain, with the giant head of (apparently) Robert A. Heinlein looming above it. You know what’s wrong here? The scale is all off. The temple area, mountain and giant head don’t match each other in scale. So I’m going to assume that it’s the amateurishly painted backdrop to this scene in the musical.

    This does not, however, eliminate the possibility that their society worships yon giant head in the sky.

  16. JuanPaul Says:

    Robert A. Heinlein’s secret sauce?: Ketchup! Mustard! Mayo!

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I don’t really see smirk—maybe just a teeny hint of a smirk on her prognathous jaw (not just the hands are weird on this cover), but I do see smug, more on him but some on her too.

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    A sane man tried to talk to the worshippers:

    “Listen, you’ve got it all wrong! You don’t need to worship Heinlein! You don’t need to worship anybody! He wanted people to live by their own rules! He was an individual, just like you are all individuals!”

    [CHORUS] “YES! WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!”

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR: Not me. I’m just like everyone else.

  20. Bibliomancer Says:

    Whatever it is they are doing, Heinlein does not grok it.

  21. Ikari Gendo Says:

    And after the success of “Assignment in Eternity: The Musical,” their next project was “Starship Troopers on Ice.”

  22. Perry Armstrong Says:

    @Ikari Gendo: …featuring performances by the Heinlein-approved successors to the dance troupe Pan’s People: Methuselah’s Children!

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Scene from The Heinlein Who Walks Through Walls And Harangues People.

  24. JuanPaul Says:

    “Look, you two, I just asked if someone could lean out and straighten that crooked ‘N’. No need to turn it into a competition!”

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’m with @Anna T: this is an amateur musical being performed by the kids from the Home For The Limb-Lengthened. I’m not sure why their backdrop needed to be in attempted 3D though. Nor why the RAH head had to be so oversized.

  26. Tor Mented Says:

    In the far distant future, the Olympics Synchronized Floating event will be held on a planet with a moon that looks like Heinlein.

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