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Aug 16

... And they call the Windrider Mariah, MARIAAAAH!Click for full image

JuanPaul Comments: Barbarella Crossing the Alps

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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30 Responses to “The Windrider”

  1. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Freedom Rides the Savage Plateau!” is her lower back tattoo.

  2. Tom Noir Says:

    A good scissors would snip all those annoying tags right off.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Savage Plateau the Horse: *sigh* ‘Is she doing that thing again?’

    @B’mancer, I believe it’s called a ‘tramp stamp’ in the parlance.

  4. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Er, Ms. Freedom, the PETA people called. They have some questions about that saddle.

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Savage Plateau the Horse: Hey, Freedom, watch that sword, will ya? Can’t you just use ordinary spurs?

  6. misterbob Says:

    Wot no Meningitis tag ? that neck of hers has gotta be hurting by now !

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    If it wasn’t for those flowing tags, you would never know she was in motion.

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    It has a suitably (and massively 80s) soundtrack and moving pictures https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtPj_iWln0s

    This cover is what Toyah thought she looked like doing that video.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I just can’t bring myself to copy the the description and reviews from GoodReads.

  10. Bibliomancer Says:

    This cover should be air-brush painted on the side of a van.

    @DSWBT – After reading that plot description, I think a better book title would have been
    The Windsteeddownriverwindrider

  11. fred Says:

    More cowbell…no…claws. More claws.

  12. Anna T. Says:

    She looks likely to die of hypothermia, since she clearly neglected to wear her coat. Or her pants, for that matter.

    @misterbob: I think you mean “whiplash”, as opposed to meningitis.

  13. THX 1138 Says:

    Modernising the Olympics dressage was a bad idea…

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Hey lady! How about using stirrups??”

    “Ha! I scorn your decadent saddles, for I ride freeeeAAAA!!” *CRASH*

  15. RachelJ Says:

    @Dead Stuff. I see the heroine’s name is “Oa”. Could this derive from the sounds made by the author’s friends when she described the plot to them?

    “Oh. Ah.”

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @RachelJ: I assumed she was named after the sound you make when you’re trying to get on a horse, but the saddle has no stirrups.

    ‘Oh-AAH!’

  17. Francis Boyle Says:

    I followed DSWBT’s link.

    Sometimes you feel sorry for the author. Sometimes the cover and the book deserve one another. And sometimes. . .

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    So in Fantasyland, this is what dressage competitions are like?

  19. infoqueen Says:

    SuperCuts must have been having a special: “Buy one haircut, get the same one for your horse at half price!”

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    At length, she moved to Appalachia and started dressing much more modestly and replaced her horse with a mule.

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Just now, I was thinking how difficult it will be to be the site admins[1]. We’ve had such a crop of terrible covers, and it isn’t even halfway through October. I imagine it will be rather hard picking which covers to cite come the end of the year summing-up.

    [1] That’s not to say that it isn’t easy being the admins right now, what with having to look at so many wretched covers, keep the server up and running, feed the Space Sheep and go walkies, etc.

  22. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Away from Empire, Freedom is superglued to the saddle!”

  23. Tag Wizard Says:

    @DSWBT – True that there are so many fun terrible covers being submitted from photos in the used book stores. But I visited a new book emporium recently and the trend in modern sci-fi covers is terribly boring. Here is a random sampling of the best-selling sci-fi paperback market:

    Even Baen Books new releases are losing their GSS worthiness.

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @TW: I beg to differ! Left to right, top to bottom:

    ‘Unbreakable’…which is why they had to turn the typefaces to the side, to fit.

    Is that the Sp∆der’s War, or the Sp∆∆∆der’s War? So many questions, so few letters.

    In the Autumn Republic, votes are determined by Capture the Flag games…so, not much of a republic, really.

    The Dinosaur Lords, ruling their land with the power of dino-belching.

    Those Above…the waterline are barely legible, those below not at all.

    Rudolph the Red Engined Spacecraft
    Had a ruddy fuel cell
    And if you ever saw it,
    You would swear it glowed like Hell
    All of the other Spacecraft
    Ran in fear of its bright flames
    They never let poor Rudolph
    Join in any Nemesis games!
    Then one foggy Christmas Eve
    James Corey came to say
    ‘Rudolph’s engine sets him apart,
    Won’t you star on the cover art?’
    Then how the spacecraft loved him
    As they shouted out in rhymes,
    ‘Rudolph’s sales won’t ever fail
    And impress the New York Times!’

    Kyle deeply regretted looking up when the silver eagles were clashing overhead.

    ‘I didn’t stab him. No, really. And that font doesn’t look atrocious at all!’

    Primary colours always bring a cover together. That, and flatulence. Lots and lots of flatulence.

    Anyone else? Chime right in. 😉

  25. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Er, sorry, forgot to close a tag.

  26. Tag Wizard Says:

    @DSWBT – You realize, of course, when that link points to next month’s new releases your comments will make even less sense!

    BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @TW: Ah, but does anyone actually read anything I write? 😛

  28. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @DSWBT—er, I do. Does that make me a loser?

  29. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BC: You make me blush! Thanks. 😉

  30. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @TW: It’s been a month, a week and a day, and yet that ‘random sampling’ you linked to is still there…are you sure you didn’t accidentally permalink to the best-sellers of January 2015? 😉

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