May 18
Bibliomancer Comments: Style and blow-dry my girlfriend’s hair right this time or I’ll slice you in two.
Published 1971
You might remember this from here.
Bibliomancer Comments: Style and blow-dry my girlfriend’s hair right this time or I’ll slice you in two.
Published 1971
You might remember this from here.
May 18th, 2017 at 11:51 am
Enter the ambiguously ethnic Dick Blade!
May 18th, 2017 at 12:21 pm
I got nothin’ on the mouse-over text. 🙂 Good show, sir!
May 18th, 2017 at 12:24 pm
As far as Sonny Chiba films go, this one looks pretty tame.
May 18th, 2017 at 1:11 pm
“One more little knick and and your wooden toy phaser is ready for action! Now go play nice with your friends.”
May 18th, 2017 at 1:21 pm
cd //
ls -a
/bash
/bin
/cd
/com
/dev
/gatesofdeath
/gnu
/graphics
/old
/pico
/spacesheep
/ssh
/telnet
/tmp
/user
/web
/usr
/xemacs
May 18th, 2017 at 1:50 pm
The sympathetic looks of a couple who realise Mr Green is too physically weak to pull the trigger.
May 18th, 2017 at 2:02 pm
At first I was confused as to who’s arm was holding the egg thing… then I wondered where the ladies other arm was going… THEN I couldn’t stop staring at his tight trousers (pants for you Uncle Sams!) There is a lot of leg in this!
Then I noticed the alien with the laser gun… THEN I realised he had a hairdryer…
Man it’s too hot today.
May 18th, 2017 at 2:09 pm
Hey, Welcome back GSS Admin!
Long time no see. Glad my cover was up to your impeccable standards. 🙂
May 18th, 2017 at 2:12 pm
Ace spent money to update the cover from the 1964 edition.
But they couldn’t get a new blurb?
May 18th, 2017 at 4:01 pm
At the Paradoxical Blurb Writer’s School:
Teacher: Ok class, let’s go over last night’s homework. Who’s got a paradoxical blurb to share?
Billy: Find the Gates of Death—and Live!
Susie: Find the Gates of Life—and Die!
Jack: She was every man’s woman, until she became every woman’s man!
Wally: Don’t miss this one!
Biff: Vulgar, Vicious, Very Very Good!
Muffy: Beyond the Star Range: Infinite Sex and Ultimate Horror!
Willard: Imprisoned in Alien Bodies . . . Mavra Chang and her Cohorts Plotted an Impossible Escape from a World with No Exits!
Winona: I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.
Teacher: Well, Winona, that’s a paradox all right, but technically speaking it’s not a blurb, it’s a title.
Winona: I just think it’s stupid.
Teacher: Careful, you’ll be hauled into court for saying that. Ok, who’s left?
Django: Could She Win the Right to Rule Her Kingdom by the Power of Her Sword?
Teacher: Wow, that’s a good one, Django. A real subtle paradox. Brilliant!
Django: Yeah, well, you should get yer ass in gear and we’ll trow back some keggers and boilo at the ‘DC or hit the weed like a champ.
May 18th, 2017 at 4:03 pm
Not sure about this reboot of The Crystal Maze.
May 18th, 2017 at 5:48 pm
Despite the lanky alien suddenly getting a drop on them Marcos became entranced with its gun. “Is that a Bennet Mk 1 Kill-N-Curl or the Tozzer knockoff?” He pondered, “If it’s a Bennet it’s very rare, and could really fluff out my hair in this humid environment…” Little did he realize their cold blooded foe was suffering entrancement himself, wilting in the megawatt force that was Silvia’s unleashed Sultry-Pouty-Face.
Things were getting hot! And humid! Who would snap out of it first!?!?!?
May 18th, 2017 at 6:26 pm
Is that Bruce Lee? With a machete?
His standards have gone down.
May 18th, 2017 at 6:36 pm
The first rule martial arts, never take your eyes off just slightly to the right of your opponent.
May 18th, 2017 at 9:38 pm
Find the Gates of Death — or the Wozniak of Life — or the Jobs of eternal social-media stasis!
May 19th, 2017 at 10:07 pm
Yeah, I got nothin’ thanks to the mouseover text and the Blade reference.
Except: aren’t her fingers freakishly long? The better to hold faceted thingy, I guess. And what’s with the pink ground mist? Another artist who isn’t good at feet?
@DSWBT: Brilliant, yet stupid.
May 20th, 2017 at 4:45 pm
I’m thinking Bruce Lee is actually conjoined twins with Bathing Suit Barbie: she begins where his left arm should be, and ends at his knee where her left leg should be.
May 20th, 2017 at 8:07 pm
@infoqueen: *Morbo voice* GENETICS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOODNIGHT!
May 21st, 2017 at 3:36 am
@Morbo: Transporter malfunction at the Gates of Death.
May 22nd, 2017 at 12:46 am
@BC: Rayuela showed up late with her homework. 🙂
May 22nd, 2017 at 7:54 pm
@DSWBigT—Flout my deadlines, will she? All right, then—Grade: F (or “Nought”).
However if she’s willing to try for extra credit, I might reconsider . . . .
May 22nd, 2017 at 8:03 pm
@BC: what if she brings nuts for the class Monday?
May 22nd, 2017 at 8:13 pm
@DSWBTeeth—well, if that’s Rayuela on the left, she can just leave Nut Boy home as far as I am concerned. Then, in a special conference, I’m sure we can work something out.
(By the way, in this post and in #21, it’s of course the teacher writing, not me.)
June 2nd, 2017 at 5:14 pm
Ok, I’ll be “that guy”…I can see her nipples!
October 9th, 2021 at 3:06 pm
“That’sss jussst like a mortal, bring a sssword to a gunfight…”