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May 11

First you allow gay marriage, next you give lady centaurs gun rightsClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Why bother wearing a shirt if your horse’s ass is going to be buck naked?

Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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35 Responses to “The Faery Convention”

  1. Tom Noir Says:

    I don’t even want to think about what the restrooms at ElfCon must be like after the centaurs get there.

  2. David Van Domelen Says:

    To quote the Stinz comic, “No one cares about the hair end.” Also, the tail provides some minimal cover there.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Guns don’t kill people, centaurs kill faeries. With what looks like an M-16 with the important parts shaved off.

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tag Wizard: I think we need that USA! USA! tag here.

  5. fred Says:

    Random BAEN centaur thoughts –
    If I was centaur and wanted a full body tattoo, I wonder how much the hair electrolysis would cost.
    Does Trojan make condoms for centaurs?
    Do centaurs employ grooms?
    Can a centaur become an airline stewardess?

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    I’m imagining that *ELFCON USA* is her tramp stamp. I just can’t decide if it’s on the horse part or the human part.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @JuanPaul: that sounds DANGEROUSLY close to a pick-up line. 😀

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    @JP @DSWBT – More like a giddy-up line.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    So, according to the Equestrian Hoof Code “if the horse is rearing (both front legs in the air), the rider died in battle; one front leg up means the rider was wounded in battle or died of battle wounds; and if all four hooves are on the ground, the rider died outside battle.”

    The official code for this position here means “I’m hot to trot.”

  10. THX 1138 Says:

    She’s anybody’s for a sugar cube.

  11. JuanPaul Says:

    @Biblio @DSWBT

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8

  12. Anna T. Says:

    Is this book a western with centaurs, or something? Because that’s the vibes I’m picking up from this cover. Also, is that supposed to be a sawed-off shotgun she’s holding? It looks a little small.

  13. David Cowie Says:

    @ Dead Stuff (#3): damn you for seeing this five hours before me! “Crap M16” was one of my first thoughts about this cover.

  14. David Cowie Says:

    @ Anna T: the barrel resembles the barrel of an M16 assault rifle (try google images), but a little small. Good luck firing one of those with just a pistol grip, and no magazine.
    Do we need a tag for poorly drawn guns?

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The Otherkin are marching on Washington, and they’re armed!
    (Too Soon??)

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Maybe it’s not that she’s running around with no trousers. Maybe she’s wearing a ridiculously short skirt.

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    [Sings]
    I’m a poor lonesome centaur
    and a long way from home
    Just a poor lonesome centaur
    with a long long way to go
    To the gathering called Elfcon
    With a brand new gun to show…

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    America, take a gander at your next President.

    (In eight years’ time we’re gonna say to each other, “Remember when we thought it couldn’t possibly get worse than Donald Trump? Pass the iodine tablets!”)

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Ah, it’s been too long since we had BAEN! pew pew

    It’s the usual mish-mash of confused stuff — centauress, random big gun of no known model, what does the centaur have to do with an ElfCon, what does any of it have to do with the Capitol?
    Wouldn’t the Capitol Police frown on having a big gun right outside there? Wouldn’t they ask “what’s with the centaur?”
    Why is it all so beige (I ask for the second time this week), when she’s standing on the Capitol Mall, which is grass?

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Meanwhile, in The Mermaid Conspiracy:

    Mermen are coming to take our wimmen!

    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06X1F1MD8

    Marvel at the cover art, and snicker at the blurb.

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Imperius Sex!

    (Well, you said “Marvel”… ;-P)

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Homo mermanus! Watch out for Namor!

    (and thanks for picking up the cue)

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I’m giving this book four stars…you can figure out for yourselves why.

    Something is seriously wrong with her left mammary. I would’ve noticed a while ago, but I was making eye contact with her the whole time.

  24. JuanPaul Says:

    @DSWBT I’ve studied it for quite some time now and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her left mammary. It’s probably and optical illusion. Maybe you should take another look. I think I’ll check again, just in case I missed something

  25. JuanPaul Says:

    I’ll tell ya, these fringe political parties are getting weirder and weirder

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Her mammaries look all right to me, although the left one’s higher and thus her strapless push-up bra isn’t fitted well.

    Frankly, as a person of some mammary endowment (less than her), I think she ought to be wearing a sports bra, because the jiggling when she gallops is going to be painful and awkward. Maybe she’s got a magic spell to hold them still.

    I also wonder, do baby centaurs nurse from the human boobies, the horse nipples, or both? I’d never considered that before. Thanks, Baen.

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    *explode-o-paturation!*

  28. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    @GSS ex-noob …..some very thought-provoking observations.

  29. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSS ex-noob—we may have to change your name to “GSS ex-boob” if you keep delving deeply into this profound and protuberant topic. Provoking indeed.

  30. JuanPaul Says:

    This is how Sarah Palin sees herself.

  31. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @JP: that implies she is given to/capable of self-reflection…

  32. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B.C.: I didn’t want to be the only one stuck with these horrifying thoughts. Sorry.

  33. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Gss ex-noob—that’s the GSS spirit! We share the wealth. I still see Narwals upon the parapets on a regular basis.

  34. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Goodness, I wonder what a centaur does if her name is Frau Blücher?

  35. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Dies of exhaustion and/or falling over?

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