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Jun 27

 

The 40 Year Old Virgin PlanetClick for full image

MaryAnne Comments: He’ll have no problem keeping it in those pants.

You might remember this from here.

Published 1960

He's limp, JimClick for full image

Charles Comments: Ream me up Scotty!

Published  1971

It’s a Two-Fer Tuesday – Sci-Fi Sexytime Edition!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.83 out of 10)
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27 Responses to “Virgin Planet & Starship Intercourse”

  1. fred Says:

    1) Not for long. Maybe another 50 ft. or so.
    2) Kirk gets…..oh why even bother.

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    1) They were just impressed by his sweet ride.

    2) You mean the Starship Enterprise WASN’T the Starship Intercourse?

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    #1 Rope-a-Dope

    #2 Say hello to my little friend

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I see now that Alice Sheldon HAD to write “Houston, Houston, Do You Read Me?” after enduring decades of stuff like that cover. It was simply inevitable.

    There’s a radio play version:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuXK8LbcG7M

  5. Alice Says:

    1) What a maroon

    2) They’re not even in the ship. They’re banging away on a spacewalk wearing nothing but bubble helmets and thongs.

  6. Francis Boyle Says:

    Given the shape of what passes for breasts on the lady in #2 I suspect she’s been having intercourse with a dalek.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. I love the insouciant little slit in the white mini skirt. We should have an “insouciance” tag.
    1 (a). I have no zipper and I must pee.

    2. In space no one can hear you orgasm.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    #1 I remember seeing this guy before.

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    1. The problem with a planet of all women is they never developed gaydar.

    2. It is very cold in space. Obviously.

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    #2: instead of a thong, the gentleman appears to have a tiny little alien participating in the worst threesome of his life!

  11. Anna T. Says:

    1: Yeah, with the expressions they’ve all got on their faces, sex will be happening really, really soon.

    2: Both of those people are wearing the most uncomfortable underwear I’ve ever seen. I mean, her bra’s nipple protrusions were odd enough, but what is that on the front of his underwear? I don’t want to know.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    #1. From a purely technical point of view, this cover is not badly executed. Its GSS-worthiness comes from the ridiculous overall “set up,” as well as the expressions on their faces. But I do have one technical difficulty, which is that it doesn’t appear that they have walked far enough away from that rocket for the laws of linear perspective to have come into play. That is, I think the rocket and the woman who seems not to be invited to the party are really only 3 feet (her) to 4 feet (the rocket) tall!

    And yet, somehow, that makes the whole thing more intruigying.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    #1: Those ladies are going to be disappointed. For one thing, the trousers imply he isn’t packing much in there. For another, I’m not sure he fancies the ladies — but they might get some different style clothing.
    Also those are a whole bunch of arch looks. Everyone’s arch. Even more than insouciant. Smirky McSmug?

    #2: She seems to be wearing funnels on her chest. He seems to have googly eyes on his thong. They all must be in some kind of clear pressurized bubble since there’s no explosive decompression. I guess the bubble helmets are just their fetish-wear? (And are the two ladies in pink refugees from #1?)

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Of course #1 could be worse, it could be the BAEN!explosion version:

    https://books.google.com/books/about/Virgin_Planet.html?id=hga3KJ4Lx5EC&source=kp_cover

    The oversized trousers remain a constant. But check out that blurb! “Yucky”

    Most of the covers this book got are horrible, but they had the bird-thing which apparently ought to be in this scene.

  15. Yoss Says:

    What amuses me about the time period is that even when the subject matter is blatantly sexual, it was still considered taboo to show a bellybutton.

  16. Bibliomancer Says:

    @GSS-X-N – And here is the Sir Mix-A-Lot version. No trousers in sight.

  17. Tag Wizard Says:

    @GSSX – I just added a link to another Virgin Planet cover on this site. No trousers either.

  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    It turned out, all they wanted to know was had he seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show before?

    @TagWizard: The former cover doesn’t actually have the author’s name amidst the tags.

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Somebody could probably write a history of the evolution of pulp art just using this novel!

  20. Tag Wizard Says:

    @DSWBT – Done!

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The cover is from 1960, but the artwork looks like 1950. Is this a reprint?

  22. RachelJ Says:

    @A.R.Yngve. The Science Fiction Encyclopaedia says “Virgin Planet” was first published in 1959, so possibly this is re-purposed cover art from some earlier “Planet of Women” novel. (They weren’t exactly rare…)

    On the other hand, you may recall how Good Show Sir’s crack team of fearless investigative reporters recently exposed the SFE’s staff as a bunch of hacks given to wantonly attributing the work of one author to another, so really, who knows?

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Space: the fecund frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Intercourse. Its five-year missionary position: to explore strange new planetary bodies, to seek out new lust and new sensations — to boldly roger where no man has rogered before!”

  24. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @A.R. Yngve—and of course, always remembering to follow the Prime Directive: “I’ll still respect you in the morning.”

  25. Anna T. Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: Just so you know, explosive decompression isn’t actually a thing. They might wind up with some skin problems, but they’re not actually going to blow up like someone in a diving bell accident (which has actually happened, don’t look up pictures it’s really awful).

  26. Tat Wood Says:

    1. The saucy looks those girls are giving each other indicate that a shag is definitely in the offing – just not involving him

    2. How is he supposed to explore the vinyl frontier of her bra with no forearms?

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Anna T: I know, but “explosive” seemed to fit, ahem ahem. Really they’ll just get sunburned, all the moisture in their bodies will boil, and then they’ll asphyxiate and freeze. MUCH better.

    @B’mancer: speaking of skin problems.

    @Tag Wiz: Looks more realistic with Space Sheep — s/he certainly wasn’t needed to block out anything visible.

    @Tat Wood: did she chop off his arm with those claws? (look at the talons at the end of her fingers)

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