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Oct 30

Why didn't I buy a bigger coffin? Why?!?!Click for full image

“There are mysteries which men can only guess at, which age by age they may solve only in part.”

Have a great Halloween!
Or just an enjoyable relaxed Saturday evening with a good bottle of wine.
Red wine.. of course.. mu hahahahahaaaa!

Thanks again to Chris R! I love this!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.81 out of 10)
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20 Responses to “Dracula”

  1. SI Says:

    Oh I do have to admit I love the ole Dracula.

    The guys teeth look amazingly awful.

  2. CSA Says:

    The teeth are awesome, but your honour, i present to you exhibit “B”… “The arm” …

  3. Chris R Says:

    The teeth are the most hilarious given the way they stick out, but the cape made out of a black binbag is also hilarious. I imagine the covnersation to make the cover went something like:
    We haven’t got a cover and the print deadline is in two hours! Quick, get Keith to shave off his handlebar moustache and make his eyebrows into pointy triangles. We’ll cut some vampire fangs and nails out of paper and wrap him in a black binbag. Hey presto, Dracula!

  4. Roses Says:

    He looks like someone’s just offered him Turkish Delight. Grumpy and appalled.

    I agree with CSA, that’s a great manicure.

    I’d better get the red wine ready.

  5. Adam Roberts Says:

    His coffin’s too small for him. Of course he looks grumpy.

    The teeth, yes … but also: what’s in his mouth? It looks like the insole to a gym shoe.

  6. Adam Roberts Says:

    It doesn’t help that he looks like Simon Pegg.

  7. ugotpwn3d Says:

    Wasn’t he told to brush his teeth before going to bed?

    Bet he wakes up with the breath of a… Oh wait, wasn’t bad breath a sign of being a vampire?

  8. WWWWolf Says:

    The font, colour choices and photo makes this look more like a noir-ish crime fiction novel.

    “Vladimir P. Drakulov, Private Investigator. Creepy guy. Drinks vodka. Solves cases. Doesn’t go in a church. Sleeps in a coffin. When the cops in New York City can’t give you justice, Vlad can. No case too hard, as long as the price is right.

    But Vlad has a dirty secret: he used to work as a stone-cold, blood-loving assassin in Romania. He came to with all of his worldly regrets to America, seeking penance for his past sins, trying to make things right. But when a busty blonde gives him a tricky case to solve, he soon realises the tendrils of the Russian Mafia are long, hard and insidious… can he settle the old grudges and protect his illustrious client?”

  9. Nix Says:

    WWWWolf: I would seriously read that.

  10. Kathleen Says:

    WWWWolf Says:

    it’s like Harry Dresden meets Burn Notice

  11. SI Says:

    On closer inspection I think those teeth are simply ingrown. He must be in some pain as they seem to be drawing blood from his chin.

    Wwwwwwwwwwwwwolf: Is it too noir that he can’t have a bat buddy called batty?

  12. Tom Noir Says:

    Why does he have a woman’s arm?

  13. Nix Says:

    That arm is not attached to his body. He just didn’t make sure the coffin was empty before getting in. (Hence the aforementioned lack of room and look of discomfort.)

    Either his own arm is not visible, or he is mostly armless.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    At night the vampire with the crooked teeth sits on his porch and plays Dueling Banjos with Dracula…

  15. Tamfuwing Says:

    He looks like he’s reading a newspaper.

  16. Bregin Says:

    What a load of old humourless tripe these comments are – seriously, why did you even bother?

    As a 14 year old this was the cover to the book that scared me so much that I couldn’t finish it, the look in those eyes. The evocative, atmospheric description of Harker’s doomed trip across the Carpathian mountains to the mysterious castle gave me daily nightmares at the anticipation of what was to come. I can still remember them vividly now. It was another 3 years until I picked up the book again. The book is a classic.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Bregin: ‘Vaht a load of old humorless tripe zheez comments are. Zheerioussly, vhy did you ewen bother? Ah ha ha ha!’

    Sir, I think you’ve hit the coffin on the nail. 🙂

  18. RachelJ Says:

    @Bregin. Yes, the book is a classic. Not the cover- or at least, not in the same way.

  19. Tom Noir Says:

    This cover would give me nightmares too:

    “WHOSE ARM IS THAT?!? Oh god oh god”

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the only vampire who can bite two people in the neck simultaneously.

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