“She was rough, tough, gruff, computer-enhanced muff stuff sitting on her duff ,,, huff and puff … grab ’em by the scruff and cuff and snuff and” … enough.
“THE”. It’s spelled “THE”, you nitwit art director! You don’t get to put new letters into the alphabet just because you planned the title design so poorly.
Reading that makes me feel like I’ve just pushed a loaded wheelbarrow over the crest of a steep hill, and now I’m running to keep it from getting away from me. I never realized my eyes could get out of breath.
Speaking as a designer, I feel like I know that layout. I’ve made that layout. That’s the design that resides in a folder named “Kitchen Sink” — as in, “everything AND the kitchen sink.” It sits next to the folder that contains the original tasteful design.
Needless to say, this is NOT the authors’ preferred cover (Old pals of mine).
But like most authors, they had no say in it. We did get a few laughs at parties, half “ooo, congrats you got a book published”, half “ooo, that cover is… erm…”
(There is no apostrophe in her name, though. And she is most emphatically NOT a fetish model or sex symbol or anything.)
———————————————————-
Tag Wizard: you should have 3 emails from me which include a total of 14 of the most eye-popping covers available today (Or at least, as of last Sunday).
Mostly BAEN!explosions but a few other, including at least one self-pub about costuming your octopus. More from our old pal Gordon R. “Out standing in his own field” Dickson. And at least one that was too shiny and had an awful pun even by their standards.
Of course Darcy is correctly spelled. My own surname (Dicey, and yes, Americans, that is my Surname) is derived from it, probably after the money ran out….
I would like to know why she’s open-carrying a dustbuster though
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October 12th, 2017 at 9:20 am
Her legs are so long even Bayonetta feels short by comparison.
October 12th, 2017 at 9:21 am
Nothing makes a book cover look better than small astrological symbols scattered about – amirite?
October 12th, 2017 at 10:41 am
Jade Darcy and the Handy Ladyshave.
October 12th, 2017 at 11:04 am
Is she the floor show at The Restaurant at the End of the Universe?
October 12th, 2017 at 11:11 am
“She was rough, tough, gruff, computer-enhanced muff stuff sitting on her duff ,,, huff and puff … grab ’em by the scruff and cuff and snuff and” … enough.
October 12th, 2017 at 12:20 pm
“THE”. It’s spelled “THE”, you nitwit art director! You don’t get to put new letters into the alphabet just because you planned the title design so poorly.
October 12th, 2017 at 1:05 pm
I would have gone with affaire d’honneur just to cram a few more letters onto the cover.
October 12th, 2017 at 1:41 pm
They oughtta computer-enhance that terrible shag haircut!
October 12th, 2017 at 1:42 pm
@fred—and her name should be “Jade D’Arcy.”
October 12th, 2017 at 2:05 pm
I read it as “rheumanization” and thought it was novel about a woman’s struggle with arthritis.
This cover is glorious.
October 12th, 2017 at 2:05 pm
Reading that makes me feel like I’ve just pushed a loaded wheelbarrow over the crest of a steep hill, and now I’m running to keep it from getting away from me. I never realized my eyes could get out of breath.
October 12th, 2017 at 2:19 pm
@Lillie A.—that definitely wins the “Simile of the Week” award! 😉
October 12th, 2017 at 3:19 pm
@Lillie, BC: shush! Or they’ll try to put the simile on the cover too!
October 12th, 2017 at 3:35 pm
Jade should simile more. She’d look more pretty.
October 12th, 2017 at 3:40 pm
@B’mancer: well, she is rough and tough. Maybe she should try more of that computer enhancement?
October 12th, 2017 at 4:23 pm
Strike a light, I’ve seen those tights before!
October 12th, 2017 at 4:36 pm
With a body structure like that, of course she needs to be “rehumanized”. I mean, anatomical issues much?
And if she’s supposed to be a “mercenary on the brink of battle” . . . why the fetish gear?
October 12th, 2017 at 4:40 pm
“I Lost My Leg to a Starship Trooper’
October 12th, 2017 at 4:58 pm
After reading this book I know the title to the sequel: The Defenestration of Jade Darcy
October 12th, 2017 at 5:03 pm
I bet those boots have stiletto heels. You need computer enhancement to fight battles in stilettos.
October 12th, 2017 at 5:16 pm
Book One in Tie: A Science Fiction Novel By?
Why doesn’t the rest of the cover rhyme?
October 12th, 2017 at 5:17 pm
You could do a book report just on the cover.
October 12th, 2017 at 5:21 pm
Speaking as a designer, I feel like I know that layout. I’ve made that layout. That’s the design that resides in a folder named “Kitchen Sink” — as in, “everything AND the kitchen sink.” It sits next to the folder that contains the original tasteful design.
October 12th, 2017 at 5:28 pm
@Tor M.—Why doesn’t the rest of the cover rhyme?
It’s free verse, stream of consciousness, concrete poetry and, um, one more, er, what is it . . . oh, I know: rubbish!
October 12th, 2017 at 6:28 pm
‘I just started reading “Jane Darcy and the Affair of Honor.”‘
‘Great. How far along are you?’
‘Halfway through the cover.’
(Note: Because this is a British site, I did the quote marks the opposite way. I refuse to drive on the wrong side of the road, though.)
October 12th, 2017 at 7:33 pm
(Actually, I always thought the British quote marks made more sense anyway.)
October 12th, 2017 at 7:54 pm
@Tor: I refuse to drive on the wrong side of the road, though’
You must crash a lot when you’re driving in France or America.
October 12th, 2017 at 10:35 pm
@Tor, Tat: almost as much as Jade’s enhancements! 😀
October 12th, 2017 at 11:06 pm
Oh. There’s a parrot. A partially blue parrot. It may or may not be nailed to the perch.
October 13th, 2017 at 1:59 am
Needless to say, this is NOT the authors’ preferred cover (Old pals of mine).
But like most authors, they had no say in it. We did get a few laughs at parties, half “ooo, congrats you got a book published”, half “ooo, that cover is… erm…”
(There is no apostrophe in her name, though. And she is most emphatically NOT a fetish model or sex symbol or anything.)
———————————————————-
Tag Wizard: you should have 3 emails from me which include a total of 14 of the most eye-popping covers available today (Or at least, as of last Sunday).
Mostly BAEN!explosions but a few other, including at least one self-pub about costuming your octopus. More from our old pal Gordon R. “Out standing in his own field” Dickson. And at least one that was too shiny and had an awful pun even by their standards.
October 13th, 2017 at 4:51 pm
@Tat
Do you look askance
At driving in France?
But I’m in America
We drive way over there-ica.
October 13th, 2017 at 7:00 pm
No one’s mentioned this yet, but that lady’s head is freakishly large.
October 13th, 2017 at 8:26 pm
Nice to see that even Deep Ones celebrate Christmas/Thanksgiving.
October 17th, 2017 at 3:25 am
Be sure not to miss book two: The Walk of Shame
October 17th, 2017 at 8:33 am
Goodness, it’s been quite the few days here on GSS for me and my pals; their book shows up and is immediately followed by a submission of mine.
November 22nd, 2017 at 1:47 am
Of course Darcy is correctly spelled. My own surname (Dicey, and yes, Americans, that is my Surname) is derived from it, probably after the money ran out….
I would like to know why she’s open-carrying a dustbuster though