Jan 23
It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – Virgin Planet special!
Good Show Sir Comments:
#1 It says “Cover design Lester, Larkin & Divers” on back cover. Took a three-man team to design an arse cover.
#2 OK lady but if you’ve never seen a man you’re setting your expectations up a little high.
Published 1969, 2000
Thanks to Raoul for sending one in! You might remember this from here and here.
(Average: 5.62 out of 10)
Loading...
Lastest Tweet
January 23rd, 2018 at 11:04 am
1: You think you’d be safe from prying eyes in the shower, wouldn’t you?
2: Oh, it’s a comedy novel now, is it? Such versatility!
January 23rd, 2018 at 12:28 pm
1. “I want my name branded right on that sweet ass!” – Poul Anderson, probably
2. Space Chicken and Beefcake.
January 23rd, 2018 at 12:56 pm
#1 Is this the first ever tramp stamp?
#2 The bird is shouting “hammer time!”
January 23rd, 2018 at 1:02 pm
#1. No wonder she’s a virgin with eczema like that.
#2. Boy, are you on the wrong planet Mr Gay Nazi Pornstar.
January 23rd, 2018 at 1:04 pm
#1 Taken from The Joy of Sex? Did Philip Larkin work on this when not computerizing Hull University library?
#2 A more risque version of He-man and Masters of the Universe.
January 23rd, 2018 at 1:54 pm
1. Norma Bates about to shock the audience.
2. A roc on a rock and yet another spaceman in jodhpurs.
January 23rd, 2018 at 3:50 pm
1. Polka Dot Measles
2. BJ Blazkowicz – The Early Dungeon & Dragons Years
January 23rd, 2018 at 3:57 pm
1. Can’t top @Bibliomancer there.
2. Why does she have embossed nipples on her breastplate? For that matter, why does he have embossed nipples on his breastplate?
January 23rd, 2018 at 4:50 pm
1. They couldn’t be arsed to do a decent cover. (I know that’s lame, but I don’t get a chance to use UK slang very often.)
2.
♫ Like a virgin
Planet where they use Muscle Gain.
Like a virgin
With a cover
Made by Baen.
♫
January 23rd, 2018 at 5:08 pm
1.I do hope that IS just water…
2. Their idea of ‘a man’ derived from old videos of Bernie Clifton.
January 23rd, 2018 at 5:38 pm
@Tor—delicately effective use of enjambment there. Good Show, Sir.
January 23rd, 2018 at 6:20 pm
B.Chiclitz: Exactly. I just jam them syllable in wherever they fit.
January 23rd, 2018 at 9:41 pm
Another cover:
“Say hello to my little friend!”
January 24th, 2018 at 1:10 am
As I said last time this one showed up (and IIRC linked to the BAEN!whatever yucky sound male and female pectorals make version), there’s no good cover for this book. The one with the odd trousers and many Spock eyebrow ladies is probably the best, yikes.
I’m sure I’ve read this story but don’t recall it. Presumably the bird-critter is transportation in it. Birdy seems to get the best efforts of the artists.
The rocket in #2 is an odd shape for a generic finned sci-fi spaceship. Rather squat and nobbly, which implies… ahem. Perhaps it’s all the rage in gay Nazi porn (and are we surprised that Baen! (etc.) has an Aryan cover boy)?
#1: That’s shot through oil. At least I hope so, and there wasn’t actually that much mineral oil around the damsel’s bare skin. Talk about yucky.
In all of these, the naughty bits of the person seem rather undefined. Even the manbum on the one Raoul found.
I guess it’s a good or at least popular book to have so many reprints with so many different covers.
@Tor: Good Show Sir!
January 24th, 2018 at 1:59 am
@TagW: I feel that there ought to be more tags relating to ridiculous pieces/kinds of armor that would apply to her in #2. Along with her helmet from ancient Grome mixed with her pseudo-Native American feather earrings.
January 24th, 2018 at 10:28 am
Little known fact: that spaceship was originally designed for Flesh Gordon but was rejected for being a little too purple and nobbly.
January 25th, 2018 at 1:11 am
@Francis: I’ve seen “Flesh Gordon” more than once, and I think you’re right.
January 25th, 2018 at 5:05 am
@Francis (#16) & GSS-xn(#17)…
But have you seen “Flesh Gordon vs. The Cosmic Cheerleaders” (I think that’s the title)?
Then again, no virgins in that flick.
January 25th, 2018 at 7:50 am
They had never seen a man – but they knew that this fascinatingly yucky monster of a Hollywood producer wasn’t one!
January 25th, 2018 at 9:17 am
@Hammy (18): Maybe?
@ARY (19): Ooh, been weeks since we had a Harvey joke! That first cover really looks like his speed.
January 25th, 2018 at 11:57 am
Stay tuned for the VIRGIN PLANET HOLIDAY SPECIAL, with a cast of stars!
– Channing Tatum as Beefcake Guy!
– Julianne Moore as Amazon Queen!
– Paul Giamatti as the voice of Ostrich!
Featuring the hit song “I Lost My Heart To a Starship Beefcake”!
January 27th, 2018 at 9:15 am
@ARY: Even Tatum at his beefiest isn’t this bicep-y. Or as Aryan. This is rather more late 80s Dolph Lundgren.
So I guess it could be a special in the 1980s. Don’t know who we’d have for Amazon Queen back then, but maybe Charles Nelson Reilly as voice of Ostrich.
January 27th, 2018 at 10:26 pm
This book just attracts odd covers, doesn’t it…