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Feb 19

Bibliomancer went to Greece and GSS didn’t even get a lousy tau-shirt. But we did get a bunch of terrible Greek book covers. I’ll turn this post (and week) over to him:

I come from Greece bearing gifts! So don’t look a Trojan Horse in the mouth. Athens has a big chain store called “Public” which is a combination of  Barnes & Noble and  Best Buy with a whole large floor of new books in Greek and English. Athens also have a few “charming” used book stores in some of the older neighborhoods. Here’s the inside view of one of them:

View of the headless Greek bookseller

So here are some terrible covers, Greek-style. Sorry, but we will have to skip the authors, cover artists and publication dates. Be kind to Tag Wizard:

Do surfers dream of aquatic sheep?Click for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments:

1. Rising sea levels were not kind to Venice.

 

Browsing Tinder on MarsClick for larger image

2. Who knew Ghandi collected Barbies?

 

Squawk!Click for larger image

3. Black Hawk up, Black Hawk down!

 

I assume Jeremy Cherfas is on the rightClick for larger image

4. Ce n’est pas un primate.

 

Is that you, Grandpa Munster?Click for larger image

5. Dracula in the language Prince Vlad would have understood.

 

Published whenever

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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10 Responses to “Greek Mega Post”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    1: Space Sheep hits a major snag.

    2: “Yeeessss… yeeessss…. I can make you gargle…”

    3: “I can see my house from here!”

    4: “I’m sorry sir, this is the gorilla check-in desk, you want the human check-in desk.”

    5: Special bargain two in one vampire and werewolf! Why not be both?

  2. fred Says:

    3. That’s a Gor cover but is it Blood Brothers of Gor?

  3. Tat Wood Says:

    2. is the New English Library 1974 cover for ‘Master Minds of Mars’ (a cover I’ve not seen in the wild since GSS started, or I’d’ve sent it).

  4. Raoul Says:

    @Tat – It’s a Bruce Pennington. Here’s a copy suitable for framing for your man cave:

    https://pulpcovers.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Master-Mind-of-Mars-1972-Bruce-Pennington.jpg

  5. Anna T. Says:

    1: Is that guy related to Jesus? And why does the building disappear underwater?

    2: Creepy old guy with glasses who, judging by his disproportionately large head is probably also part alien, makes a woman do a striptease for his amusement.

    3: Stereotypical First Nations man with wonky ribcage (seriously, I think he needs medical assistance) rides a roc (giant Middle Eastern mythical bird) with stereotypical First Nations woman who is almost naked. She doesn’t look very happy, suggesting that her presence may be involuntary.

    4: The guy from Magritte’s famous The Son of Man removes the fruit from his face and gets into a staring contest with a gorilla.

    5: Stereotypical Dracula impersonator attacks unconscious attractive woman. Your basic vampire fare.

  6. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Font abuse, surely? 2 & 3 are all splortchy and blobby. And the pointy Dracula font is ridiculous in any alphabet.

    And “cleavage” for gosh sakes. Mammaries a’plenty! Am half surprised we didn’t see monkey norks.

    1 is when little Spyros Jr. age 12 was turned loose with the clip art and glue pot.

    3 is one of A. Merritt’s 1920’s/30’s lost world fantasies, obviously.

    4 is maybe “Father to the Man”, which in English doesn’t mention Mr. Cherfas at all? A couple of the English-language covers show apes.

    Either that or it’s Magritte’s first sketch, after which he axed the monkey and substituted a green apple.

    I see @Anna T and I had a similar idea, which means we’re super-clever or that the artist was a hack who couldn’t think of anything better for that title. He’s not terribly good at rendering either human faces or ape backs.

    5 does look quite Grampa Munster-esque.

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    1. We’ve all had this dream.
    2. We’ve all had this dream too.
    3. And this one
    4. Probably not this one
    5. This isn’t a dream. Vamp-wolves are real.

  8. Tracy Says:

    I kind of like the Magritte one.

  9. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’m kind of mentally combining my, Anna, and Tracy’s ideas now and thinking perhaps the gorilla ate the famous green apple. Seems like a sensible thing for an ape to do if suddenly confronted by a tasty fruit at eye level.

    Followed by the staring contest — man wonders what to do now that his apple’s gone, ape’s waiting for him to produce more produce.

  10. Anna T. Says:

    I was just transcribing the Greek for fun, you know, and I think the last book might actually be Dracula – the Greek transliterates as Drakoulas, which is just similar enough that a coincidence is unlikely. Add the fact that there is no author’s name, as is sometimes the case for particularly famous books, and the picture seems fairly clear.

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