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Nov 12

Dang it! My lizard's gone playing with my magic globe and turned me into a wolf again.Click for full image

Now calm down, you heard me correctly. An angry lizard carrying a magical globe on its back which shows a picture of a Victorian lady. A man, with a wolf’s head I might add, stands peering in to the globe has his hand reaches towards it. What’s so strange about that eh?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.36 out of 10)
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25 Responses to “The Fire Rose”

  1. Roses Says:

    WTF?

    I think we need to have a special category just for Mercedes Lackey covers.

    That is so many shades of awful. I just don’t know where to begin…

  2. SI Says:

    Yea she does seem to have pretty bad covers. So many browns.

    You just have to love them, in a kinda, what the hell way.

  3. CSA Says:

    I like the idea than the Wizard/wolfman has summoned this image in the crystal ball, except the image is facing away from him, how the hell is he even meant to see her face? what a loser

    neverminding the sureallness of the whole picture, the background is totally out of perspective and makes my brain sore.

  4. Adam Roberts Says:

    It’s so baffling, visually speaking! Actually, speaking in any sense at all! I’ve been staring at it for ages … in fact my eye was so confused that for one long minute I thought the ‘Patricia Cornwell’ spine was actually part of the Lackey cover, and that that’s what the dragon is scowling, angrily, at! That’s how confusing it is!

  5. little mi Says:

    This is really too strange to know what to say.

    The background is making my brain hurt. And how is that crystal ball on lizard thing working. Its just madness, damn it!

  6. JustinLeego Says:

    Lizard, kif, or proto-kif?

  7. ugotpwn3d Says:

    I’m sure there is something in the animal rights act that says you aren’t allowed to put a magic globe on a living creature.

    Maybe he’s wearing a wolves head cause the globe is two way,

    women: “john…. I know it’s you…”
    wolf head: “eject eject eject!”

  8. Lindsay Says:

    In the cover’s defense, this is pretty much exactly a scene from the book.

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    Needs more fire. And roses.

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “I see a Regency Romance convention in your future…”

  11. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    Ow. It’s like he’s standing in front of one of those trick perspective rooms you can only see right from one particular point, where it looks normal, but from any other angle it gets freaky.

    And the woman in the globe. I don’t mean to be rude, but what is she wearing? It’s not Victorian. It’s not anything, except weirdly inflated in the sleeve and skirt region. Her torso makes no sense. Her silhouette is sort of vaguely 1830-ish, except all the details are wrong. The hat is especially atrocious.

    Of course, if this isn’t supposed to be historical the only problem is the cowboy hat floating over the top of her head.

  12. Sangelia Says:

    This is actually a scene in the book. Rose has in that scene recently lost her father. Due to various things, she is lacking in funds. And the Wolfman was looking for someone to live there as well as do research for him.
    For the person who made fun of the hat, that style of hat was common for ladies at that point of time. It is not a cowboy hat. But more of a bonnet style.
    As for her shape, That was due to how they wore corsets back then. A woman’s natural shape had to be hidden as well as distorted back then. DKS did the clothing styles very closely to what was actually worn in about 1905.

  13. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Thanks for the historical details, Sangelia! Much appreciated and glad to have you on the site.

  14. Anna T. Says:

    The book IS based on “Beauty and the Beast”, which explains a lot.

  15. anon Says:

    Tinder or just stalking?

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    So if he taps on the crystal ball with his finger, does she wiggle back and forth in the real world?

  17. GSS noob Says:

    I’d like to ask for a retrospective “perspective problems” and also scold the membership for only giving this 6.2. Deserves to be much higher.

  18. JuanPaul Says:

    I’m imagining they get into an argument and he does an epic table flip. It happens in the book, right?

  19. THX 1138 Says:

    “Not bloody Lucy Worsley again!”

  20. fred Says:

    It’s like Somewhere In Time only with a better dressed leading man.

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    A furrier leading man, fred.

    He really doesn’t look like a werewolf/wolfman. Going by the size of his noggin, the chap is wearing a fake wolf head over his own, like a costume. Is he a friend or relation of Murr, and should yiffing in hell be prescribed?

    I ask again for “perspective problems”. I was going to also note it’s another example of BAEN! woof woof seemingly getting a big discount on orange ink. But apparently the month this came out, bilious yellow was on sale. Orange only on the rocket, outlining the title, and maybe some of the cloth.

    If that globe is solid glass, it weighs a lot, so I don’t blame lizard looking so cross.

    Her poofy sleeves are technically called “leg of mutton” so maybe Wolfie was misled by the name and hoped it was literal. Looking for a snack.

  22. Tor Mented Says:

    The woman’s anatomical issues can’t be blamed on a corset. Her head is about twice the size it should be for the body. Perhaps she is a dwarf. The distance from a woman’s neck to the bottom of her bosom is about the same as the distance from her neck to the top of her head. The too-high-bosom syndrome is typical of artists who don’t know anatomy or who want to cram the bosom to fit a comic-book panel.

  23. Tracy Says:

    If the man is a wolf-man shouldn’t he have hairy wolf-like hands with pointy fingernails?

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tracy: That’s why I said he was a guy wearing a wolf head. He ought to have very furry hands at minimum.

    @Tor: Her head being too big, maybe she’s wearing a fake head of a lady? Or, as you say, her proportions are off because of dwarfism.

    Having worn a corset once or twice, I might allow the bosom placement, but that still leaves her with no lower torso, regardless of being an average lady or a dwarf.

    Perhaps she’s some sort of humanoid we don’t know about, and the elaborate clothing and false head are a disguise?

  25. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Wolf’s been snorting too much coke.

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