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Aug 07

Clutch Cargo, the NovelClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: “Scroooooooooooge!”

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.56 out of 10)
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22 Responses to “The Owlsfane Horror”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    To think people said Jeremy Corbyn was crazy to join The Rocky Horror Show.

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    Needs a shuriken of approval: “Duffy fans should find a lot to like!”

  3. fred Says:

    What if you go in through a window, avoiding the doorway altogether?

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    “Some choose to go through the doorway, some are chosen. There is no escape from…

    Stars in Their Eyes – Claymation Edition”.

  5. JaunPaul Says:

    Pavoratti, when he saw that his roommate ate the cannoli he was saving.

  6. Raoul Says:

    Always check the Goodreads reviews before reading:

    “Great cover, but lame book about skiers with skin conditions.”

  7. Francis Boyle Says:

    And some choose to go in by the back way. . .which is why it’s crucial to always remember your safeword.

  8. Anna T. Says:

    It looks like someone glued a magazine cutout to a doorknocker.

  9. fred Says:

    The horror is Jacob Marley being typecast, and he has to share billing with a stunt double mouth.

  10. Tor Mented Says:

    GSS on the Clutch Cargo reference. Though I’m surprised he made it across the pond.
    I first read the title as The Oxfam Horror.

  11. THX 1139 Says:

    Wait a minute – “cut out cover”? Anyone know what was inside?

  12. Tag Wizard Says:

    @THX from Biblio:

    “Classic cut-out cover w/mouth from next page”.

  13. Tag Wizard Says:

    @Tor – We have YouTube.

  14. FearofMusìc Says:

    Unfortunately the cut-out cover makes it look like the Burning Man hipster on the main cover has a severely broken or dislocated jaw.
    (And really, these piercings are getting ridiculous)

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    What is this I don’t even.

    I’m guessing the cut-out cover is where the Rocky Horror-esque lips come through, and I shudder to think of what the stepback shows surrounding the lips. Are they just lips floating in nothingness? Or is there an even more horrific face?

    Amazon reviews say “A wonderful sleeping pill” and “pace slower than the gradual shifting of the earth’s plates”; two agree the book should have been 100 pages shorter.

    Oh dear, I found the stepback. Brace yourselves:

    http://toomuchhorrorfiction.blogspot.com/2018/02/your-pretty-face-is-going-to-hell-cover.html

    There are several other GSS-worthy covers there.

    @TW: Author’s real name apparently Mel Burger.

  16. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    The Owlsfane Horror….where people are reincarnated as door knockers with mouths, and you have to insert objects into the mouths to enter.

  17. Raoul Says:

    @A-S: A glory hole nightmare.

  18. Tracy Says:

    I am sorry for letting my prejudices show, but an author by the name of Duffy Stein does not exactly promise a great horror read within. Neither does/did Mel Burger. What was wrong with D. (Middle Initial) Stein?

  19. Monty Says:

    Without the giant candy lips, this cover would actually be interesting. I refuse to believe this was as the artist intended. That “cutout cover” nonsense must have been forced by someone in marketing at the 11th hour.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    No, really, the lipstick makes you look ten years younger.

  21. JJYoyo Says:

    Am I the only person who thinks this cover would be improved if the mouth was The Rolling Stones’ emblem instead?

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Emster: No, you are not.

    I’m not sure how the mouth ended up at that angle; the head doesn’t have a dislocated jaw, so… ???
    (cover up just the mouth and you’ll see the statue face is in proper proportions but the mouth’s drawn on sideways — see the stepback)

    It is indeed very Clutch-esque.

    Re: the blurb — and some have the sense to avoid the door altogether and don’t go anywhere near Owlsfane.

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