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Oct 09

Booty Call!Click for larger image

Mrs Jones Comments: “How to Pick Up Girls” by Conan.

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.29 out of 10)
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17 Responses to “Echoes of Valor”

  1. fred Says:

    Actually the tag should be ‘muscle’, for his left calf.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    “Bloody tourists are ruining Venice – let’s go!”

  3. JuanPaul Says:

    And as the last echoes of valor fade away, we’re left with this.

  4. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @fred—Calf? What’s up with his knees? They look like they’ve been sanded perfectly flat.

    Needs a “Faux-zetta” tag.

  5. Lillie Awesome Says:

    I think his lady friend with the dagger’s right arm is a prosthetic attached at the bicep cuff, and I think she may have grabbed one from the man arms pile this morning in her rush to get to the shore leave picture.

  6. drlemaster Says:

    Conan had to abduct and smaller woman this time, to balance out the giant one he abducted in the last Conan cover.

  7. Bibliomancer Says:

    More like “Hoes of Valor”. Amirite?

  8. Anna T. Says:

    It looks like he’s about to kill that girl he’s holding, rather than swinging his axe at the horde of bad guys.

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    “Hey! I caught this woman trying to sneak off of this cover! As punishment, I say we hand her over to Rowena Morrill!”

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Anna T.—Not sure if he’s about to kill the girl or split his own skull on that backswing. It also appears that with his last stroke, the one that bloodied his axe, he shaved off the tip of dagger damsel’s nose.

  11. fred Says:

    @B.- I believe I see a faint nude female torso on his left knee. Yay Cimmerian knee pads.

  12. Tor Mented Says:

    Well, I see a grumpy face. It’s on the second attacker from our left. It’s on the right side of his back. Could be the unhappy ghost of Frank Frazetta.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    This is the second one in a month that shows Conan’s inability to carry women in a balanced position. Conan, no matter how strong you are, gravity is stronger!

    @BC: Agreed on both the WTF flat knees, and the need for “faux-zetta”.

    This has new and different anatomical issues than we’ve seen. And plenty of ’em.

    Also bad weapons handling and a very 80s font.

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    The two guys on the left look less like they’re about to attack than they’re dying of leprosy or something, what with the peculiar skin colors, slumped position of one and the beseeching pose of the other (“reaching for Conan”, you say? What the hell is that supposed to accomplish aside from getting your arm chopped off?) Maybe it’s that peculiar mist that’s killing them?

    The guys on the right seem healthier, but they seem more “crouched in wide-mouthed awe” than posed for an attack. “Sitting down (judging from the way his leg is sticking out in front of him) with your spear by your side” isn’t an attack position, and neither is “crouching over your buddy with your knife arm resting across his shoulders.”

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: Yes, the farthest left guys are begging for help and the ones on the right are agog. I picture them all saying “Save us from the fog, Conan!” and Conan replying “No, I am only heeya for da wimmen.”

  16. Hammy Says:

    Well, we *know* it isn’t “Echoes of Velour”….

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “By Crom, I have my hands full! Don’t just stand there, help me hold this wench!”

    This cover SO BADLY needs a Benny Hill soundtrack.

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