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Oct 31

Quoth the raven, 'WTF'Click for larger image

Check out the wraparound glory!

Crashing Vor Comments: Jim Baen Presents: Bette Midler?

Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.63 out of 10)
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15 Responses to “Greatheart Silver”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    “I’ve had worst”

    — PJF

    “Needs more orange – and bizarre typography”

    — JIM BÆN

    “Maybe not”

    — PJF

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    I’m glad someone’s having a good time, but it won’t be his dry cleaner.

  3. Michael Toland Says:

    Howard Chaykin for the…win? Or something.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    Dudley Do-Right is sporting some fancy pants.

  5. Lillie Awesome Says:

    I don’t know what Race Handsome and Space Flapper Bette Midler are up to on the front, but Grandpa Munster back there doesn’t like it one bit.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @B’Mancer—That’s not Dudley Do-Right, that’s the Lone Ranger (the ravens double as his mask), and she therefore must be Tonto. Hi-Ho Silver!!

  7. fred Says:

    Lionel Barrymore be rockin’ the Spock Eyebrow.
    Two ravens usually means Odin. I don’t think this is usually. But it is PJF after all.
    Need a ‘generic square jawed hero’ tag.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @fred—I very much like the idea of a “generic square jawed hero” tag. We could just shorten it to “jaw man.” Let’s be on the lookout so we can lobby T. Wiz mercilessly.

  9. Ray P Says:

    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
    Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten Tor

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Ray P— 😉
    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
    Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten Tor

    While I nodded off, so mellow, suddenly there came a bellow,
    As of some rude girl or fellow, banging at my chamber door.
    “’Tis some GSS,” I muttered, “banging at my chamber door—
             Hoping Tor will help them score
    One more smiley-faced emoticon to add to website lore.”

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Ray P, @B. Chiclitz

    Quoth the raven: “WTF-galore!”

  12. Raoul Says:

    @Ray P @B.Chiclitrz @Bibliomancer:

    Quoth the raven: “Where’d you meet this whore?”

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    That would be too restrained and just exactly orange enough for BAEN! moment of silence nowadays. And Bette isn’t pneumatic enough. But the heirs never get it quite right.

    “Bette Midler and the Hologram of Lionel Barrymore* IN… ‘Greatheart Silver’!”

    @fred: I don’t visualize Odin as a guy dressed like a barnstormer, but wearing cowboy boots, but then I’m not PJF. I’m down with the “generic square jawed hero” tag, though.

    This is all WTF, from the excessive orange, the bizarre title itself, PJF, the typography…

    oooh, I just noticed there’s a wraparound…

    Ah, THERE’S the pneumatic babe, the firearm, and the sneering Grandpa Munster (I met him once. Very nice man IRL). Plus more Capitals for no Reason, as is the way of Blurbs.

    Mr. xn asks “is she facing us, or him, or some other direction?” and upon seeing the whole deal “evil rich guy… what’s with the brothel?” and I said “Space Western?”

    *Explains why he’s the same color as the background.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The Wiki summary shows that this, as we might have expected, is an accurate representation of the cover. With, as is usual from PJF, ripoffs homages to many past works.

    Although as Greatheart (for it is he on the cover) is a descendant of Jefferson and Sally Hemings, I’m not so sure about the blond hair. And that’s supposed to be a zeppelin, not a spaceship. An Acme Zeppelin.

  15. Innocent Bystander Says:

    At first glance I thought Greatheart Silver was Dick van Dyke playing Mister Cold Miser in the live action version of The Year without a Santa Claus staged in the far future. I think I need to get some sleep.

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