Feb 08
Click for full imageListen to me carefully, I said give me a big bosomed women standing in front of some governmental type building casting a beefy fireball. With extra lens flare! Then place every sentence and word in a different type font. Oh wait… that’s what you’ve done.
(Average: 7.45 out of 10)
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February 8th, 2010 at 9:18 am
If she would only shave off her Z Z Top beard, she’d be quite fanciable.
February 8th, 2010 at 9:51 am
Personally i think she’s a little tall. Whats that, like 900m tall?
February 8th, 2010 at 10:36 am
Oh but come on, even at 900m you would, wouldn’t you? Logistically it would be tricky, but you still would.
February 8th, 2010 at 11:14 am
Well i’d definately rise to the challenge. But after a quick feasibility study i conclude that realistically it would require the use of a MegaZord. Somebody phone Japan.
February 8th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
The beard does at least allow for decorum to be maintained even though her blouse is mostly unbuttoned. Until it gets windy. Which, 900 ft up, it must often do.
I’m not sure she’s going to go far in Washington making those sorts of mistakes. Beefy fireballs notwithstanding.
And while we’re on the subject – a ‘beefy’ fireball? How does that work exactly?
Still as long as she can keep up appearances she’ll be OK.
February 8th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Urgh! What a terrible tag line thing – ‘She’ll need to keep up appearances-if she wants to stay alive…’ I would suggest she starts by getting a shirt that fits or she’s going to have an embarring incident in her next boardmeeting.
February 8th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
@CSA: Great, now I have visions in my head of a Godzilla-sized sex toy, possibly made up of five smaller, different-coloured sex toys, rampaging through downtown Washington. Thanks a lot.
February 8th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
@James Hehe, you don’t want to know what i imagined was happening to the Washington Memorial
@Mi I get a vibe from the cover that says “what if Ally McBeal had magic powers”, but even with those powers she still needs to dress like a skank to get anywhere in the corporate world.
February 8th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
“What if Ally McBeal had magic powers … which enabled her to give herself a figure that didn’t look like a string bean.”
February 8th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
@simon Do you suppose there is a Latin chant to summon the dreaded “beefy fireball”?
My Latin sadly isnt up to scratch these days, but i’ve gone for “caro ignis inflatus”. Adam can probably help me.
google can’t define “beefy fireball”, but i suspect there are rules concerning the the ratio of beef to fire, where as somepoint its just a meatball and at the other end of the spectrum its just fire.
February 9th, 2010 at 8:39 am
The experts tell me:
(Beef / Fire) x lens flare = EPIC
James> That’s just wrong… power rangers is dead to me now… 😛
February 9th, 2010 at 8:46 am
Also, I can’t remember but was there a ‘fantasy factual’ section of the shop? Actually… that might have been through the back, through the hanging beads.
February 9th, 2010 at 7:21 pm
I can think of two reasons to read this book, unfortunately it’s not the writing and the font selection.
December 13th, 2015 at 8:05 pm
Hold it! HOLD IT! If it’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s lack of professionalism in Generic Genre Publishing.
Where is her obligatory “Tribal” tattoo? If you don’t show the “Tribal” tattoo, how are the hordes of Urban Fantasy readers supposed to feel the Pavlovian reflex that makes them buy the book?
December 13th, 2015 at 10:46 pm
A mysterious lady of the night has stolen the light off the Congress dome.
December 14th, 2015 at 8:36 am
To be honest, there is a rule in genre publishing called “Made You Look!” — i.e. certain visual features will always cause the prospective buyer to halt at least for a second, thereby increasing the probability of purchase:
1. Beautiful female face looking at the viewer (works on both sexes, all types of readers)
2. Boobs
3. Guns (attracts 90% of American and Afghan readers)
4. Furry aliens (attracts a guaranteed 25% share of SF readers, repels everyone else)
5. Vodka bottles (stops 100% of Russian readers dead in their tracks)
December 14th, 2015 at 2:33 pm
Is it appropriate to lobby for an “Attitude” tag? We need something not covered by “smug” or “smirk” but which, IMHO, definitely needs calling out. She’s got it. “Swagger,” maybe?
Hey, it’s old Swaggering Smirky McSmug again!
June 11th, 2017 at 4:19 pm
The Monument That Cheated On Me and the Branch of Government That Didn’t Care: A Lifetime Original Movie starring Britt Robertson.