preload
Mar 16

Yeah, you look great, but your men are getting slaughtered behind you.Click for full image

Eighties cartoons are just fantastic, aren’t they. Wait a second… What if we go for that eighties look? Musclebound guy wearing strange straps which have no benefit and gold bracelets. Holding aloft his magic glowing scepter. No one is going to forget this cover anytime soon!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.24 out of 10)
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24 Responses to “Statesman”

  1. Adam Roberts Says:

    This is actually the magazine New Statesman before it was rebranded.

    I started trying to count how many straps that geezer is wearing, but I had to give up.

  2. Simon Says:

    I think he’s hoping the straps will distract attention from the purple and pink tights. He wrong.

  3. SI Says:

    Good spot on the purple tights!

    He also seems to be carrying two pretty large ‘personal’ computers. Combat could never be easy carrying those around.

  4. James Lovegrove Says:

    The gayest hero in the galaxy! First he will defeat evil alien beings bent on conquest. Then he’s going clubbing. Old Compton Street, look out.

  5. CSA Says:

    Synopsis: What if He-Man was bald and had an eye patch

    you can even see Skeletor there.

  6. Adam Roberts Says:

    ‘Hope Hubris’. Ah, it’s a fine line between ‘hope’ and ‘hubris’, is it not. And also between ‘good cover’ and ‘terrible terrible crappy cover.’

  7. SI Says:

    He fights hard and plays hard.

  8. SI Says:

    D’oh. James beat me to it.

  9. Liberace Says:

    Jeesh, Statesman, take it down a notch.

  10. e.lee Says:

    the font! The font! Its soooo ’80s! think ‘MAsters of the Universe’…

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “IIII HAVE THE JOCKSTRAAAP…!!”

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    This cover cries for some tag love! Planet-sized TING! Skulls-a-poppin’! Utility belts! BEHIND YOU!

    Also, whoever designed the title needs a new line of work. I misread it as NOISY PANTHER: NO TYPO FABRICATES A LOVE 5UM: MANE STATS. Simple to do, really.

  13. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Excellent taggestions, Dead Stuff. Community high five!

    Maybe we need a Wierd Pecs tag, but I think it’s just that guy. Is he a mutant? Giant ribcage, tiny pecs. Muscles everywhere else. Everywhere. seriouslywhatisgoingon

  14. FéaröfMüsic Says:

    @Tag Wizard: Good sir, I vote stronglystrongly in favor of the addition of a weird pecs tag. It could be added to Twice in Time. The odd asexual being there has a chest that looks like someones’ backside. I am quite certain many more examples are waiting.

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    Who decided to pose a G.I. Joe and use it as the cover on a book?!?

  16. Tom Noir Says:

    What one earth is going on with his ribs?? Or for that matter, his entire upper torso?

  17. anon Says:

    Emo Hitler with muscles. Yeah, that‘ll make me want to read the book.

  18. Tom Noir Says:

    In the far future, clothing will be mostly belts.

  19. Ray P Says:

    Say what one likes about it, some persons keep coming back to look again and again.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    He promised to make America great again, to make its people the happiest people on Earth — and the voters ate it all up!

  21. Tom Noir Says:

    Came here to make a Trump joke only to find that AR Yngve beat me to it by an entire year!

    GSS: come for the silly covers, stay for the highly prescient political prognostications!

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Speaking of those, the new show “Powerless” did a quick shot of a guy reading a newspaper with headline “President-Elect Luthor Vows to Make Metropolis Great Again”. It was just a little funny ha-ha filmed before the election.

    Now we’re all envious. At least Lex Luthor is smart and believes in science.

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    At least no one will accuse us of reading SF to escape from reality.
    (Laughing through my tears! Ha ha ha… *sob*… ha ha haaa…)

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha…

    Although this cover looks more like Putin. Same deal.

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