Mar 25
What if we go for something that’s kind of a cross between art and an eighties music video? We’ll have flaming eye balls and some women with retro make-up playing with her magical sticks. Then just pack any text at the top and if we can, make it like an ancient scroll banner. Classy.
March 25th, 2010 at 10:06 am
My eyes . . . they burn! No really, they do.
March 25th, 2010 at 10:14 am
For Behold! I wield the mighty Cotton Bud of Balefire!
March 25th, 2010 at 10:35 am
I don’t want to alarm that man. But he seems to have a women growing out of the back of his head.
March 25th, 2010 at 11:52 am
She’s knitting! Knitting wispy-shine magic from swirling eye-fire hair! With The Crow’s eye makeup on! Why can no one see that this makes perfect sense?
March 25th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
James has been channeling early period Genesis again. I’m sure those lines are from a song on side 2 (side 2 – how quaint) of Nursery Crymes.
March 25th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Nursery Cryme, not ‘Crymes’! Tch! Don’t you know anything?
March 25th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
And the correct lyric is: ‘they called him the man with farting eyes …’
March 25th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
Now we know who edits the editors.
March 25th, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Looks like Michael Jackson at a somber Halloween party.
March 25th, 2010 at 11:11 pm
I like aswell how the text isn’t even centered. Its definately slightly to the left. I’m not sure why this offends me as much as the dude vomiting flame from his eyes.
March 27th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
It helps if you sing this like ACDC:
She was a rock-n-roll HAIR STYLiisssst, eEEEyyyyeaaaAH
She was a rock-n-roll HAIR STYLissssst, eeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaah
March 27th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Top, top cover.
The only thing about it that I don’t understand is why this site hasn’t yet been overrun by hordes of Idle Thumbs. WIZAAAARD!
(sorry, Scoops)
March 28th, 2010 at 7:53 pm
‘If you keep on doing that young wizard man, you will go flaming blind!”
April 22nd, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Yes very ‘Men Without Hats’
June 26th, 2012 at 6:23 pm
‘Excuse me? My eyes are up HERE! Oh, and down there too, I suppose.’
It’s hard to see, but there’s a screaming phantom skull in the eyeball fire. Are those eyes actually Ghostbusters-style ecto-containment units? And by swirling her sparkler into the field, the lady has ‘crossed the streams’?
June 27th, 2012 at 12:10 pm
Wow. I completely visually misread this. I didn’t see the guy’s head at all, just the woman. It looked like she was wearing a truly ugly shapeless buff-colored garment with her own black hair swirled in an entirely unlikely fashion to completely conceal any sign of her breasts, which struck me as an unlikely marketing decision.
December 22nd, 2015 at 9:41 pm
For the last time: To be subjected to high energy emitting from your soft, wet, vulnerable eyeballs — be it in the form of fire, radiation, lasers, lightning, what-have-you — is A VERY, VERY BAD IDEA.
Not to mention the fact your eyes are for SEEING. How useful are they if your vision is blocked out by fire, radiation, lasers, lightning, etc…?
December 23rd, 2015 at 8:24 am
And you thought the occasional hair or eyelash in your eye was annoying..
December 29th, 2015 at 1:42 am
Janet Jackson meets Oasis.
January 20th, 2017 at 2:10 am
I was so busy looking at Janet Jackson and the swirly brown stuff that I didn’t see glowy-eyed man either.
April 5th, 2018 at 10:34 pm
We don’t need another heeeeerooooo
We don’t need to know the waaaaaay hooooome
All we want is to be Beyoooooooond Wizardwall
August 23rd, 2019 at 5:36 am
@Simon: The cover started as a Visine ad that got out of control.
August 23rd, 2019 at 6:51 am
🎵🎵
They said “someday you’ll find all who love are blind”
When your head’s on fire,
You must realize, smoke gets in your eyes🎵🎵*
*apologies to Jerome Kern (also to The Platters).
August 23rd, 2019 at 3:50 pm
I’m half persuaded that this is a masterful interpretation of what it’s like to be inside Trump’s head.
August 23rd, 2019 at 3:52 pm
Fingernails fingerfails.
August 23rd, 2019 at 7:10 pm
“You won’t believe how high I am right now.”
August 23rd, 2019 at 7:13 pm
@Francis Boyle: does he think ALL Mexicans are wizards? And that they’ll pay for it?
August 24th, 2019 at 12:45 am
There are 3 people or beings on this cover: Janet Jackson, the guy with the fire eyes, and whoever it is with the hands.
None of them know what’s going on with the whole situation any more than we do.
August 24th, 2019 at 3:24 am
“We were a few miles beyond Wizardwall when the drugs began to kick in.”
August 24th, 2019 at 10:28 am
@Tat Wood: Well if Trump gets to be the second coming it’s only fair that the Mexicans get to be wizards.
November 6th, 2019 at 3:14 pm
DID YOU KNOW?
The trope of energy shooting out of a person’s eyes (light, X-Rays, etc.) most likely stems from an archaic theory of seeing called “Extramission Theory”.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emission_theory_(vision)
This misconception is remarkably persistent. To this day, surprisingly many comic-book writers, fantasy writers and laypeople still seem to believe in it:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11700915?dopt=Abstract
January 9th, 2022 at 2:43 pm
The approaching tornado should liven things up considerably.
January 10th, 2022 at 4:54 am
@fred has proved there’s always more badness to find on a cover!
Fire tornadoes are a real thing. Janet may be in trouble.