Apr 01
Art Direction: Hold on a second, I’m just finishing my morning bourbon. Alright lets see, could we get naked women with impressive cleavage? What about a man with a laser sword fighting off some cat people? No? Man you are picky. How about a t-rex travelling through time eating historical figures? In fact that’s brilliant… get Roberts to re-write this thing!
Art Director: Sweet lord. What is this… what have you given me?
Artist: Uh, a flying city and some storm clouds.
Art Director: Now come on, I have it on record Amory requested a naked man wrestling a man tiger, both wearing bondage gear.
Artist: Was… that in the book? Who the hell is Amory?
Art Director: Stop asking technical questions and draw or you don’t get your curly wurly!!
(Average: 3.71 out of 10)
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April 1st, 2010 at 9:48 am
Strangely, I was reading one of those on the underground last month when someone came up and threw hot coffee all over my face. Then they punched me in the groin. As I crawled to the exit screaming for help the rest of the passengers starting kicking me in the kidneys. Some police officers came over to help as they used pepper spray on my already bleeding wounds.
I warn, never ever, read these on public transport. Their covers are simply too much.
April 1st, 2010 at 11:14 am
My eyes! They burn, they BURN!
April 1st, 2010 at 12:08 pm
You jest, but it has been known for authors to have to rewrite content in order to match the covers their editors have chosen. I’m looking at you here, Mr Spanton, and the extreme haircut you made me give Provender Gleed.
April 1st, 2010 at 12:38 pm
@James, Edward Willet said something very similar about one of his covers. It might well be quite a common practise. I really like the Provender Gleed cover, so SS may have been right 😉
April 1st, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Did anybody make ‘Jay Amory’ rewrite his trilogy to include a minature city located on a bar stool?
April 1st, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Well originally it was a bar stool with some dudes fat, hairy ass hanging over the edges but Jay was able to pull some strings to get a city since it was aimed at younger readers… or so i read somewhere… and by somewhere i mean, right there, when i typed it.
April 1st, 2010 at 1:07 pm
No, but now you mention it, that has to be the most uncomfortable bar stool in the world.
April 1st, 2010 at 1:18 pm
If you look at the Swiftly cover and let your eyes un-focus a little. It kinda looks like an infected belly button.
April 1st, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Hmm, i think i’m onto some sort of conspiracy here. Okay, we have the bar stool and the infected belly button. Now, if you take the words “amory roberts”, mix up the letters you get “sober rot army”…. I think it should be clear to all, Roberts and Amory are building an army of zombies… clearly kept sober by uncomfortable bar stools…
… i need my medication again…
April 1st, 2010 at 3:25 pm
CSA> Maybe the doctor needs to increase the dose.
And ‘amory roberts’ can also be, ‘My bar rooster.’ I’m proud of that. If only it hadn’t taken me 3 hours of constant thinking to come up with it.
April 1st, 2010 at 5:06 pm
I always like it when they put “A Novel” right there up top so I know what I’m dealing with before things go too far.
Also, why is the bar full of cumulus?
April 1st, 2010 at 9:24 pm
These covers aren’t half bad. Hopefully the prose inside is above average.
April 2nd, 2010 at 1:13 pm
You would say that, Ron. I bet ‘Adam Roberts’ is just one of your pseudonyms.
April 22nd, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Um. I like both of these covers. While I completely understand the barstool comment, I’d give the Amory a read just because of the cover. But then I tend to enjoy winged humanoid sf.
April 22nd, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Tracey, thats why they are dishonourable, because they’re both pretty good covers.
The authors names are:
Jay Amory/James Lovegrove
and
Adam Roberts
Its also tagged “April 1st”, and look at who two of the commentors above are…
I’m betting “Jay” is please with your comment, but you’ve hurt Adam’s feelings 🙁
April 30th, 2010 at 2:36 am
As an april fools joke, it doesn’t seems very funny…:\
The covers seem nice and refined. Elegant (especialy the first one).
April 30th, 2010 at 3:31 am
The authors of both books have been regularly posting on the site for many months.
I’m sure they’re are glad you like the covers, you should buy them!
April 30th, 2010 at 4:31 am
Maybe I would. 🙂
Haven’t checked them thouroghly yet (cause you know, cover is just an eye candy to draw atention, the actual book is what matters)…
Ahhh, ok, i apologise for my words, I didn’t realise it was an inside joke and that those were the real authors. 😛
April 30th, 2010 at 5:56 am
no problems. theres only been about 10 or so regular posters for a while. great to see so many new faces!
keep posting (btw in reference to your other post, the higher the rating worse the cover, or more awesome depending on how you look at it, so low rating means people would actually take them on public transport etc)
April 30th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
“great to see so many new faces!”
LOL, You know that you were referred by Boing Boing, right?…:)
And yeah I know, but the previous covewr recived a score of 8! Or “I swear its my flatmates” in verbal formulation…:P
Sure its not the greatest cover in the world but it deserves no more than ‘2’ from its worst critics. (Thats why I thought that the infant nudity actually played a role…)
April 30th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Dude> Oh yes… we know about Boing Boing! And our server just about survived it 😉
April 25th, 2012 at 7:36 pm
All things considered, if the covers are trying to entice me to buy them, while The Wingless Boy would definitely catch my attention, I would pass right on by Swiftly because this cover makes it look like a Civil War novel.
(Not that there’s anything wrong with Civil War novels, they just don’t interest me.)