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Jul 22

AH HA! Take this giant head!Click for full image

Miss.. please stop strangling my griffin with your extra long thighs!Click for full image

Dude, of the many things I could question. What's up with your fingers?Click for full image

David Comments: It took me a long time to notice that the naked red man with spikes on his feet and a horn in his forehead is holding his sword in a rather odd way.
Published 1973, 1974 & 1975

Many thanks to David!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.03 out of 10)
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One Response to “The Chronicles of Castle Brass”

  1. Ros Says:

    Is that happy lizardman doing yoga to relieve the tedium of being trapped in a triangular prison? Is he on drugs? Is he glued to the top of that giant head?

    Oh, I get it, he’s actually steering the head with that little pyramid thingy he’s holding. Now it all makes sense.

  2. Simon Says:

    Have those editions. Bought when seventeen. Have irrational love of them. Will hear nothing against them. Well, you know . . .

  3. Simon Says:

    Or was I fourteen? Which would make the irrational love more understandable.

  4. SI Says:

    Haha they are pretty awesome covers. We’ll forgive you Simon… this time.

    And I do know that’s not the way to ride a griffin. She’s choking that thing James Bond women assassin style.

  5. cutmanmike Says:

    Poor griffin looks like it’s being strangled!

  6. James Lovegrove Says:

    I’m with Simon, I’m afraid. First Guy N. Smith, now this. What, are you trying to destroy my childhood with retroactive mockery?

    But if we’re being critical…

    Naked Red Unicorn Man does, indeed, hold his sword in a funny way. Almost like a conductor’s baton. And Griffin Riding Woman’s left leg is seriously misproportioned. And as for Glass Pyramid Forehead Man’s widow’s peak…!

  7. Brian B Says:

    I’m actually okay with the third cover; it is amusingly cheesy. But that griffin is just wrong. Where do its wings attach? Somewhere down around it’s butt somewhat left of the center of it’s body? Also what’s with the pose of that girl? At least we understand why she’s choking the poor griffin with her legs; she has to in order to avoid falling off since she insists on striking such an awkward pose and isn’t holding on with her hands. She looks like she is posing for one of those cameras they put on long drops of the really big roller coasters.

  8. Dave Van Domelen Says:

    The griffin has to be a paper cutout for her legs to work that way.

  9. H Says:

    Poor bloke’s got the studs from a pair of ammo boots screwed into his feet. You’d be pretty pissed off about that too.

  10. Charlotte Says:

    The studs on the red guy’s feet remind me of the movie Kung Pow and Betty’s small metal pyramids of power. Surely the chest is a more comfortable place to keep such things than the bottom of one’s feet.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    EYES! Why do ALL the eyes–and there are ever so many–look so discontent? Only Happy Buddha in Cover #3 looks reasonably at peace.

    Also, where are all the castles of brass? Is that ONE I see, in the background of Cover #1?

  12. Phil Says:

    Actually, Happy Buddha isn’t too Happy; he’s shedding a tear.

    Cover #2: I couldn’t help seeing the griffin-leg to the right as the continuation of the woman-leg to the right (I missed the wraparound leg on first viewing). This gave me a kind of Bernie Clifton effect.

    I haven’t read these books, of course, but I expect the large teardrop being held by griffin-Bernie-Clifton lady will turn out to be the tear being shed by (un)Happy Buddha.

    As for cover #3, those painful footstuds are obviously what has led this man to leap in the air. He won’t be any more comfortable when he lands.

    Has Michael Moorcock now dropped his first name, becoming the fantasy world’s equivalent of Prince or Lulu?

    Hang on a minute, that’s not a griffin. A griffin has the head of an eagle and the body of a lion. This creature has the head of an eagle and the body of…an eagle. It’s an eagle, dammit!

  13. Green Says:

    Book 1:
    I recognized Count Brass on the horse. Dons’t remember anything about the lizard-yogi and scowling whatsis.

    Book 2:
    The less I know about the relationships between green-haired women and dispoportionate eagles, the better.

    Book 3:
    You’d be crying if you were Buddha too. “Unicorn man, you don’t need to do a sword dance to get rid of those footstuds! Just use pliers!

  14. Nix Says:

    That wraparound leg is seriously disturbing. DvD is right: it has to be passing through the griffin’s leg. Perhaps anything the Eye in the Sky looks on phases out? In that case I hope she gets her leg out before it closes or she’ll be stuck.

  15. Mark V Thomas Says:

    Re: Green’s comment…
    With regard to Book 1, the “Lizard Man” is Baron Kalan, former chief scientist of Granbretan, & head of the Order of The Snake, as I seem to recall, (The “Pyramid” is his Transdimensional Transportation device), while the “scowling whatsis” is Hawkmoon himself…

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    [Terry Jones in LIFE OF BRIAN]: “OW! My foot!”

  17. jesi Says:

    why even bother putting any image on the cover when MOORCOCK is at the top in giant yellow letters. hilarious as the rest may be, all i see is MOORCOCK MOORCOCK MOORCOCK. story of my life.

  18. Nix Says:

    Well, as someone whose surname is Alcock I’m afraid I have to respond “it’s his name, dammit, what do you have against cockerels anyway”.

  19. SI Says:

    Nix> Lol

    Ah names can’t they be hilarious things. I had a student last year called, Wei Wang. Man… I’m sorry but that still makes me laugh. School yard humour!

    Sorry Wang!

  20. Nix Says:

    My dad was particularly unlucky. First name Bob. You can guess what the evil sods at school called him.

    (Also, remember the US Wang slogan in the 70s? ‘Wang cares’? The British branch decided not to use it. Also, of course, Jack Vance, patron saint of gloriously euphonious and subtly appropriate SF names, calling a series of books after a prominent race in them: the Wankh. It’s not all that rude in the US, apparently. Certainly it couldn’t be if *Vance* of all people made that mistake.)

  21. Aude Says:

    Duh, isn’t Hawkmoon supposed to be blond ?

    @Nix
    Didn’t realize until fairly recently that this book in the Tschaï series probably suffered from unfortunate connotations in english language countries, over here it’s just what it was probably meant to be, a somewhat exotic race name.
    We even have a *Wang* hero and book title by french author Pierre Bordage 😀 Ah, well, even with perfectly normal titles many decent SF/F books don’t go out of the country that much anyway…

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