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Dec 16

Dude! I'm totally going to catch the space dragon....Click for full image

Elfi Comments: Nothing says “serious astronaut” like Steven Tyler in a bubble-helmet.
Published 1982

Many thanks to Elfi!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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26 Responses to “The Voyage of the Space Beagle”

  1. Phil Says:

    Those space beagles don’t look anything like normal beagles.

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Nothing says “serious astronaut” like Steven Tyler in a bubble-helmet.”

    OK, I’ll bite:

    There’s something wrong with the ship today
    I don’t know what it is
    Something alien’s come insiiiide…
    It’s big and mean with tentacles
    If I don’t find it soon
    It’s gonna eat me aliiiive…
    We’re living with the Coeurl!
    [Background chorus: but we thought that it was harmless…]
    We’re living with the Coeurl!
    [Background chorus: Only Nexialism can save us…]

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    That suit’s got a huge oxygen tube. Or did he put on a vacuum cleaner by mistake?

  4. Herm Says:

    I hoped it would be a “Space Beagle” as in Charlie Darwin’s ship, but it doesn’t seem to be. Instead, I find space dragon, which is admittedly my favourite thing. Now I’m confused and don’t know how to react…

    Mainly, I suppose, by wondering why spacemen get to have hip holsters and cowboy boots. That seems an excess of cool things that astronauts get to have.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The helmet design isn’t structurally sound… the helmet seems to go all the way down to his chest (and down his back).

    Why? So he can get a space-tan?

  6. Evad Says:

    That helmet design… He’ll smash his face into it every time he tilts his head even slightly. To look down he has to bend at the waist.

    Probably not any different from actual space suits with regards to having to bend… But the tilt & smash makes me think the soundtrack wouldn’t be Arrowsmith but more Simpson’s “doh’s”, cursing and the crack of broken noses.

  7. Elfi Says:

    Herm: I think the idea of the book actually *is* a futuristic Charles Darwin sort of setup. I haven’t read it yet, mostly because I’ve been busy with actual science at University.

    Regarding the cowboy boots: I’m really worried that Mr. Astronaut’s feet will get cold in those… I’ve never found them to be very insulating! But maybe that gray orb he’s standing on (Now that I look at it, is it a giant hard-boiled egg? O.o) will keep his feet warm.

    That tube is obvy not his OXYGEN supply, I mean, that dragonthing could just nom right through it, right? Could be his lasso. Or his power cord.

    I can’t imagine how he can see out the front of the bubble-helmet with his face so close to it like that. I’m sure he’d fog it up. I can’t even be in the lab with proper goggles without them fogging up – that thing would be just epic worse, I’m sure of it.

  8. NGpm Says:

    Imagine the piano work that dragon could do. He could tickle the ivories like mad with those magic fingers … magic fingers make you feel alright.

    The cowboy boots are a nice feature, they really bring out the color on the holster for his model 1950 — I mean 2950 Blasto-Ray(tm).

    Dragon: “Can I play piano for your band?”
    Tyler: “Dream on!”

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “No, I’m not going to sing ‘Makin’ Love In An Elevator’ for you, alien dude. Now get off my spaceship. Scram. I’ve got a space gun and I’m not afraid to use it.”

  10. Kathleen Says:

    he’s pretty buff though

  11. David H Says:

    You can almost hear it:

    ” Some people call me the space cowboy.
    Yeah! Some call me the gangster of love.
    Some people call me Maurice,
    ‘Cause I speak of the pompatus of love.”

    And the Space Beagle backing him up with cool moves and his “Jazz Hands.”

  12. SI Says:

    “Lets just say, I have my MANY fingers in MANY pies… but not right now. I just ate them.”

  13. Nix Says:

    Hang on, tentacles, yes. But I thought Coeurl of the impossible-to-spell name was supposed to be *black*? I mean, the original story was called _Black Destroyer_ and all. I’m sure van Vogt would have told us if he was bright red and yellow with flippers instead of legs.

  14. anon Says:

    Ok, where’s the space beagle then?

  15. Fred Zimmerman Says:

    pretty true to story. the hero is supposed to look like a superman. missed opportunity to make the ship look like a beagle.

  16. Mark V Thomas Says:

    Re: Nix’s comment
    Was’nt the monster in “The Dark Destroyer”, Ixil, rather than the Coeurl…?

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The book cover would have been soooo much cooler with Snoopy on it.

  18. GSS noob Says:

    None of you will be surprised to know that this is the SFBC cover as well.

    It’s several of his stories set aboard the Starship Beagle put together, so it has Coeurl and Ixil and some other stuff.

  19. fred Says:

    In space no one can hear you laugh when the tickle monster pounces.

  20. Tor Mented Says:

    The cover is nicely in focus. But what’s going on with the hand holding it? The fingertips look like they’re pressed against glass.
    Elfi, did you have to stand outside the shop and take a photo through the window while a cohort held it up inside?

  21. Tat Wood Says:

    The book’s a complation-album, so here’s a playlist:

    Snoopy vs the Red Dragon.

    Ixil Sin

    Nexial Healing

    I Lost My Internal Organs to a Starship Trooper

    Won’t Come Back from Spaceman’s Coeurl

    Anabis in the UK

    … and many more. To be honest, it’s aout forty years since I read it (with the Foss cover) and it just seemed like the same two stories twice over. To allow one anthropophagic ancient terror aboard your ship is unfortunate. To allow two smacks of carelessness.

  22. Ryan Says:

    The big tube on Steven Tyler’s suit is a constant vacuum machine, sucking any air out of the body of the suit and pumping it into the helmet bowl.

    On the one hand, it magnifies any issues of Space Body Odor; on the other hand, it gives the spacesuit the skin-tight tautness needed in those situations where you must face the Galactic Chinese Tickle Monster.

  23. Bruce A Munro Says:

    TFW you accidentally fly your spaceship into the Chinese New Year’s parade.

    I knew Xtl.
    I had eggs implanted in me by Xtl.
    You, sir, are no Xtl.

  24. Bruce A Munro Says:

    A few other takes on the Red Menace:

    https://www.scottnicolay.com/media/2018/10/voyageofthespacebeagle-japaneseJuvenile1967.jpg

    https://www.sffaudio.com/images13/1939-12-December-Astounding-0014.jpg

    https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-psgUACYI7wI/WDJEZBBzjuI/AAAAAAAAFwQ/VYW__HMItRA1pcrrbWZJBxx2X58CZZJ6gCLcB/s400/ixtl.jpg

  25. Emster Says:

    And a belated lighter-in-the-air for @AR Yngve’s rendition of Livin’ on the Edge – GSS!

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: The Chinatown Association wasn’t too thrilled with Steven Tyler.

    @Tat: “Won’t Get Couerled Again” (yeeeeaaaaahhhh!)

    (Last time I saw The Who, Rog had to go offstage for a bit and rest and get a shot of something… probably oxygen… before he could come back on stage to do the “YEEEEAHHHH!”)

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