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Jul 07

Ah, I see you have the new apple face-pad.Click for full image

E’s Art Direction: Make him look like Darth Vader, but lame…
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.66 out of 10)
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25 Responses to “Trumps of Doom”

  1. Druaightagh Says:

    I had those once, after extra strong jalfrezi…

  2. Repton Says:

    That cover would make a lot more sense on _Creatures of Light and Darkness_..

  3. Phil Says:

    Methinks Mr Zelazny, being an Americorn, knows not the British slang term “trump”.

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    “You mean I wore my own specially designed gas mask for a game of bridge?!”

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    Had no idea Zelazny wrote Fantastic Four fanfic.

  6. SI Says:

    The senior middle class worst nightmare… cyborg hoddies!

  7. Mike Says:

    Whoa whoa, they swiped Michael Whelan’s cover art to Brother Assassin – and then made it lame!

    http://www.paperbackfantasies.jjelmquist.com/images/whelan/SaberhagenBrother.JPG

  8. Phil Says:

    Mike, good find! Whelan’s version wins, hands down. (Or clock-wielding claws down, to be more accurate.)

  9. Smith Says:

    The new Apple iFace needed work.

  10. Diane McIlmoyle Says:

    I can safely say that’s the most hilarious thing I’ve seen in an age, thanks to the publisher’s absence of understanding of UK slang!

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Aaaa-CHOO!!”
    “Gesundheit, Lord Vader!”

  12. Ian Says:

    What a terrible cover for a book in a great series. Random cover chosen, do publishers want to sell these books I wonder…

  13. Don Hilliard Says:

    @Ian: I’m pretty certain that this cover was never intended to appear in a bookstore. Even though the publisher is apparently shown as Underwood-Miller (the identical copy on my own bookshelf says Arbor House), it’s a Science Fiction Book Club edition.

    SFBC was notorious in the Eighties as a tool for publishers to screw over writers. If a writer’s contract specified both hardcover and paperback releases, the publisher would subcontract hardcover publication to SFBC which printed scaled-down, low-quality editions and then sold them for about the same price as a paperback, through no channel except the book club or by special order direct from the publisher. The catch was that royalties were based on the assumption that the publisher was bearing greater expense for hardcover publication, so received a higher percentage of the profit (while in reality were spending very little for production, and nothing for promotion or shipping since both of those were handled completely by SFBC.)

    And as you’ll see elsewhere on this very site, SFBC didn’t get the top artists to do most of their covers in that era…

  14. Dalton H. Says:

    I hate that villain in the new G.I. Joe movie.

  15. J. Says:

    Great site. I realize this is old but, I just wanted to also mention that this is a plagiarized version of a Michael Whelan cover for Saberhagen’s Brother Assasin.

  16. Tom Noir Says:

    Let’s see if I can list the Trumps of Doom. There’s Donald, Ivana…

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The new Abominable cover by
    NED DAMERON

  18. L.B. Says:

    So what kinda hand is a doom one that it trumps all others? And is the guy on the cover a real card or what?

  19. Anna T. Says:

    Hey, it’s Robot’s creepier cousin!

    (Does no one else here read Gunnerkrigg Court? Because seriously, that’s what this looks like.)

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    You gotta admit, there’s something eerily prophetic about this book cover. The 2016 election might become the Trump of Doom…

  21. Ray P Says:

    Swiss army face.

  22. GSS noob Says:

    And lo, it came to pass that we were all Doomed by Trump.
    (Dude’s a bit reminiscent of Doctor Doom, who Putin is kinda like)

  23. Tom Noir Says:

    Zelazny was a surprisingly prescient writer!

  24. JuanPaul Says:

    I prefer the sequel: Drumpfs of Tomb

  25. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Let’s have the appropriate background music…

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