preload
Oct 28

*German accent* I'm here to cast a spell of heal light wounds... *bass guitar*Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Are you sure you’re a licensed massage therapist?”

“Of course dear, now just relax and let me work. Your thighs look very… tense.”
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.78 out of 10)
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29 Responses to “The Golden Horn”

  1. Phil Says:

    So which of these two characters has got the Horn?

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    “Just a little thing I like to call… radioactive reiki!”

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    If that’s a wine cask, maybe the gent’s performing a magical insta-hangover cure. I’m for one of those!

    The Library Journal quote is the most blasé I’ve read in many moons. It doesn’t speak well for what’s inside the cover.

  4. Alessandra Says:

    However I try, I can’t make her outfit work. Is it chain mail? Is it leather? Is it over or under the brown thing on the top part of her bust? That cuff on her right arm — is it slicing through her elbow?

    The guy’s generic nightshirt is a relief by comparison.

  5. SI Says:

    Oh… you and your magic hands.

  6. fred Says:

    I guess the history part must be the stone walls and black cocktail dress.

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    You know, I never even noticed the cask behind the woman. Now that it’s been pointed out I can’t shake the feeling that this cover is illustrating medieval date rape.

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    A little Googling shows that “sleeping people being harassed” seems to be a running theme for the Hound and the Falcon Trilogy: http://starbaseatlanta.com/ebaypics/isleglasshc.jpg

  9. drlemaster Says:

    I’d like to see a crossover. The Golden Horn vs. The Third Eagle.

  10. Jane Says:

    “Wax on, wax off.”
    (Ouch)

  11. Ian Says:

    She’s dead Jim.

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “HEY! My headache is UP HERE!!”

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    What I love about this cover is that it’s so subtle.

  14. Muttley Says:

    I thought she’d suffered some serious leg wound until I realised she’s wearing something like greaves. But for the life of me I can’t work out what’s happening with the androgynous glowing-hands-person’s lower body. Is that his/her leg out to the right?

  15. Phil Says:

    Muttley, I THINK that’s a leg with a scabbarded sword. My guess is that the sequel shows him pulling out the sword, and it goes TING!

  16. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Oh yeah, that’s the spot.

  17. Smith Says:

    Binge drinking at Rivendell had got out of hand.

  18. Tom Noir Says:

    I get it now. He’s hypnotizing her so she won’t notice he’s sitting on her feet.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Gavin knew that, if he pushed Marsha down stairs and she died, no-one would suspect it was no accident!

    Unfortunately for him, he pushed her downstairs, and so she lived.

  20. RachelJ Says:

    She has three arms!

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The books tell the story of the elf Alf, who grew up as a monk in a monastery among humans, and how he meets love and comes to terms with who he is. A creepy creep with no pants who creeps on drunk ladies, it would appear.

    Also, Alf the elf? Is she named Aerson?Auman? Aaxpayer?

  22. Bob Says:

    Swiffer gives healing a whole new meaning.

  23. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Do you like my nails? Fluorescent jellies. I got them at Hot Topic.’

  24. Bibliomancer Says:

    The Poon Hound and Edie Falco Trilogy

  25. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I wonder if she ever collaborated with Leonard Feather.

  26. Tor Mented Says:

    Is there any explanation for the kitchen knife block in the lower right? It makes me think there is a toaster and a K cup machine just outside the shot.

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tor: Like they’re in the break room of the castle? Are they gonna xerox their butts later?

  28. Bibliomancer Says:

    Was this book posted before we invented the “font problems” tag?

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’mancer: Could be. Although it seems to only have 2 fonts. And the title font isn’t unreadable, though I expect the letters to fall over in a stiff breeze thanks to them being so top-heavy.

    Do we have a tag for when the title is on a separate compartment/banner/lozenge/thingy?

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