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Sep 18

The Flaming Horse 2000! Offers that incentive for speed and with a great smell of bbq!Click for full image

Frank Comments: This is actually not so terrible a cover. But given that you’ve got two other covers up for this title, I thought you might enjoy this one.
Published 1985

You might remember The Door into Fire from here and here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.26 out of 10)
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25 Responses to “The Door into Fire”

  1. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The jokes practically write themselves, eh?

    1. “Ow – ow – ow – ow…”

    2. Inspired by Arthur Brown’s “Fire Poem” from the immortal LP “The Crazy World of Arthur Brown”…

    3. But it’s not all bad for him — the pain of burning feet is drowned out by the pain of looking up at the title font…

    4. Ironically, “Expands the limits of the swords” is the subject line of spam sent out to male Fantasy fans worldwide…

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Does Publisher’s Weekly actually print reviews written like this:
    “Expands the limits of the swords and sorcery genre.”
    — with that precise punctuation?

    “Novel titled THE DOOR INTO FIRE reviewed. Tells story about man on quest to save world. Expands the limits of the swords and sorcery genre. Exciting, magical, intelligent.”

    :-S

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Quick, run into a lake!”

  4. Bob Says:

    I am Diane, u are Duane.

  5. L.B. Says:

    One hot-foot is bad enough – imagine having four. Can you see them riding through a forest?

  6. Tom Noir Says:

    Alternate Title: “I Have No Mouth But I Must Burn My Horse”

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    “Bad news, gentlemen. We spent the rest of the year’s art budget on the custom font for this title.”

  8. THX 1138 Says:

    Is the hero French? Dejeuner on the go…

  9. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Can anyone guess who I am?

    Falcor!

  10. Yoss Says:

    His pose looks strange, but to be fair, I never know what to do with my hands when I’m riding a flaming horse either.

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    Neddy’s not on fire, he’s the first VTOL horse and he’s just launching.

  12. MisterBOB Says:

    I’m guessing the horse is named Fire ?

  13. Jaouad Says:

    Invisible reins?

  14. fred Says:

    Not one “Blazing Saddles” mention so far. Tsk tsk tsk

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    I’ve never read this book, but based on my examination of the three different covers on this site it involves a lot of swords, flaming horses and nudity, and possibly C.S. Lewis.

  16. Phil Says:

    Quick, let’s put out these unwanted hoof flames by riding through a frame of BLUE fire.

    The artist is just winging it. If s/he were really trying, that horse would be a centaur. Or a pegasus.

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:


    He rode a blazing stallion
    He wore a shining star…”

  18. anon Says:

    I guess fonts aren’t a priority when you’re just one typo away from being called Duane Duane.

    @Jaouad: Invisible pours.

  19. GSS noob Says:

    Horse is actually a fire elemental, so the flames are accurate.

    Author has re-released the books with very simple covers and non-swirly fonts, perhaps to make up for years of this sort of thing.

  20. Longtime _Lurker Says:

    I know you’d all love to know that I’ve just bought this book, with this cover. In a charity bookshop. Maintained by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. In Durban, South Africa. (Great place btw, both the city and the shop.)

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @L_L: GSS! For the book and the charity.

    Thankfully, the book is better than any of the covers inflicted upon it over the years.

    Current cover of this and the series (omg, so good) are here:

    http://www.dianeduane.com/ebooks-direct-store-page

    with previous works/original covers the author had no control over scrolling over to the side, including many seen here.

  22. FluffyGhostKitten Says:

    @fred: Farting cowboys and flaming horses don’t exactly mix.

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @FluffyGhostKitten—Unless you happen to be thinking of that legendary buckaroo Tom (the Bomb) Mix, Scourge of the Pecos, and his Flaming Horse Tony, who carried many a gay caballero (cf. “The Ranch Boys”) on his back in the Old West.

    (BTW, don’t look too much at “Wash” and try to remember this was 1941 when casual stereotyping of all sorts was the norm, here found in a pitch for a mainstream media radio program featuring a big celebrity and sponsored by a giant pet food company.)

  24. anon Says:

    Ie-e, Dunadan!
    I, Rodent-Foot Heir / The Rodeo into Fir
    “Tinder night: pillage masonic sex lodges’ creamy extract, light set dens on fire, win.” — Publishers Weekly

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @anon: I like the thought of an entire rodeo of guys on fiery horses riding into a fir Masonic lodge and setting it alight. Fits the picture.

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