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Mar 07

Sir, this was left in the childrens section again... it's scarying the kids...Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Stuck for something to draw eh? All one has to do is follow the editors rhyme, “Golden chair on which a hunk may sit, dinosaur.” Yeah… it’s not much of a rhyme really. But here’s the twist: it’s in space!
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.53 out of 10)
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30 Responses to “The Return of Nathan Brazil”

  1. RachelJ Says:

    What, *again*? Dinosaurs just can’t seem to keep out of space, can they?

  2. Tat Wood Says:

    Sadly, this all-too-accurately reflects the contents. ‘Nathan Brazil’ is a being who’s probably God, and he has access to a thing called the Well of Souls (pre-Indiana Jones, its one redeeming feature) which is a sort of cabbalistic universal graphics package that can change matter. So, yes, some characters have become dinosaurs. I think. It’s five books I read with increasing annoyance thirty years ago.

  3. SI Says:

    Pffftt… he can’t fly a space ship with those tiny arms!

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Ah, my last meeting with the bossfellah. Love this non-union job!

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Sixty-five million years ago, when maroon ruled the Earth.

  6. Phil Says:

    I’m disappointed. I’d hoped that Nathan Brazil was the name of the dinosaur. “Hello, I’m back!”

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The plot summary given above neatly sums up what gives SF a bad name: power fantasies.

    Stop me if you’ve read this plot before:

    “A boy/child/orphan gifted with psychic powers/super intelligence/some powerful gadget must save the Earth/Universe/Princess from alien invaders/an evil overlord/some menace.
    He overcomes playground bullying, sneering teachers and his own (HUGE) insecurity just in time to impress everyone with his awesome skills and saves the day.”

    And the sad thing is: This kind of stuff still outsells everything else. (*Cough* Harry Potter *cough*)

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    “We need more power, cap’n… and I can’t operate the computer with these tiny arms!”

  9. FearofMusic Says:

    Are all space dinosaurs T-Rex’s? Are they the only ones who can handle zero gravity? In anan emergency how do they get the helmet to their suits on? And with their tiny tiny arms, how can they hope to open the pod bay doors when HAL refuses?

  10. RachelJ Says:

    @FearofMusic. That’s a tricky one. Some have T-Rex heads but extra digits on their paws, for instance Pirate Captain Rex of “Farseer” or the Rocket Rider of “The Second Experiment” (who also had wings, for that matter). Inbred, possibly.

  11. THX 1138 Says:

    First Magnus Magnusson, then John Humphrys, now this?! The toughest quiz just got tougher.

  12. Bibliomancer Says:

    I doubt that the “survival of the Universe” depended on The Return of Nathan Brazil, but I’m sure Jack Chalker’s next paycheck did.

  13. Phil Says:

    @Fear ofMusic: I think the default dinosaur for ALL of SF and fantasy is the T. Rex unless otherwise specified. And quite rightly so. Their delicate watchmaker’s hands make them the ideal accompaniment for stories set anywhere in space or time, except when they have to do heavy lifting.

  14. fred Says:

    Ol’ Emperor penguin is eyeing the king o’ the lizards thinking ‘Yah, I could take him, no problemo, but I think I’ll leave him to throne boy. GOT YOUR BACK DUDE!’ .

  15. JuanPaul Says:

    So, if the rules of perspective hold up in outer space, Nathan Brazil is bigger than a T-Rex.

  16. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    At first glance, I thought the guy was sitting on a space toilet. Then I remembered who Nathan Brazil was, and realized that the whole book was the toilet.

  17. L.B. Says:

    “Mmmm. Human on a gold plate! Lunchtime!”

  18. Jaouad Says:

    So that whole thing is the title? “The Well World supercomputer, and the survival of the Universe depend on the return of Nathan Brazil.” Overcompensating for plot deficiencies, perhaps?

  19. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Maybe the T-Rex is mad because Nathan Brazil is sitting in his favourite chair.

  20. Dlo Burns Says:

    That back wall makes me think that it’s a particularly empty and spacious (heh) fast food joint.

  21. Tom Noir Says:

    After the scene where the T-Rex showed up in his throne room, the next book in the series was titled “The Hasty Departure of Nathan Brazil.”

  22. Nate Says:

    This book cover was so bad that there are actually two other covers from re-printings of this book.

    The first being this slightly less ridiculous cover

    http://covers.openlibrary.org/w/id/207372-M.jpg

    The second re-cover I assume the editors just threw their hands in their air and said “screw it, just put some tits on it.

    http://www.paperbackfantasies.jjelmquist.com/images/caldwell/ChalkerReturn.JPG

  23. David Cowie Says:

    The first cover features a female centaur, a small T-rex in a waistcoat, and Nathan Brazil sitting on a glowing toilet. Hence Nate’s use of the qualifier “slightly.”

  24. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Damn it, T-Rex! Can’t you see I’m busy saving the Universe?”

  25. Tat Wood Says:

    Nathan’s taken that line from ‘All The Young Dudes’ a little too literally.

  26. Anna T. Says:

    Someone call the Time Police to report whoever’s been dropping dinosaurs all over time and space. Seriously, it’s getting to be a problem.

  27. JuanPaul Says:

    This cover has been haunting me for months so I finally confronted my demons and plotted the perspective to find out that the dinosaur is barely as tall as the arm of the chair in the background.

    You can believe me, I went to art school.

  28. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @JuanPaul: I believe you, and I went to palaeontologist school.

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    No wonder Nathan’s just sitting there calmly. It’s an ickle bitty dino far away from him. No need to panic.

  30. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’ve looked at the covers for all of the books.

    The first four have varying covers, but they’re all terrible in their own special ways.

    The later ones go from terrible to meh.

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