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Jul 22

Yes, yes I agree now... you are better with the mohawk... and I am better with a mullet!Click for full image

Christian Comments: This is truly the fantasy of every elementary school boy. Knight in shining armour with laser gun and sword while riding a dinosaur with a mohawk and ankle spikes. Epic.
Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.02 out of 10)
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28 Responses to “March to the Sea”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    “OK… just got our balance… now try walking forward…”

    Oh, and John Ringo were fine, but Paul George were better. If you had to pick favourites.

  2. FearofMusic Says:

    Hope is crotch is armored. Seated at the particular angle, and considering the likely motion of his steed, his groin is going to take a beating.

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    The mohawk is fabulous. But the raccoon eye-shadow is to die for!

    Is this a one-legged dinosaur with a tail firmly anchored in a rock?

    Do we have dueling authors here? Is this titled David Weber March to the Sea by John Ringo?

  4. L.B. Says:

    @THX; George Ringo all the way! Meanwhile, what a heroic pose on that dino!

  5. Rags Says:

    Baen Director: “Ankle bracelets on a dinosaur? You wouldn’t dare!”
    Baen Cover Artist: “Oh I would, oh I would!!” (Giggles like a school girl)
    Baen Director: “Matching eye shadow on Bret Michaels and the Veloca-T-Rex?? You would not dare!!”
    Baen Cover Artist: “Oh I would and I did!!” (Giggles manically)
    Baen Director: (wipes happy tears from eye) “Another glorious day at BAEN BOOKS!”
    (Both men stand up and kiss their Baen shirt logos while humming the Baen theme song)

  6. Jaouad Says:

    Say what you will, but Julian Assange does look fetching astride a faux-rex with a laser-gun and a katana and armour and a cape and is that the butt of a rifle I see sticking out behind his back? Leave nothing to chance!

  7. Phil Says:

    Eye shadow? I saw it as a Lone Ranger-style eye mask. Either way, Good Show Sir!

  8. fred Says:

    The bit is fit for a dinosaur but the reins look like they would break off with a small tug.
    Stallion? Gelding? Mare? Pony? Donkey?

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    John Ringo knows how to give the people what they want.

    What do the people want? David Bowie on a velociraptor, that’s what.

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    IMPOSTOR! That’s no dinosaur, dinosaurs didn’t have enlarged 3rd maxillary teeth. OR forward facing nostrils. OR cheeks. And meat-eating dinosaurs had their first toes rotated, like a bird’s. And they held their backs parallel to the ground, like a bird’s. And they couldn’t rotate their palms downward, their hands were restricted to one plane of motion. And the ends of their tails were stiff.

    AND THEY ALL HAD BLOODY LASER SUPER SOAKERS!

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    The extraordinary John Ringo – not the chap from the Gunfight at the OK Corrall but this guy
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Creator/JohnRingo?from=Main.JohnRingo
    http://hradzka.livejournal.com/194753.html

    Thank you, Baen Books, thank you so hard.

  12. RachelJ Says:

    @Dead Stuff. Never mind, the beast is no doubt meant to be a dragon.

  13. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    I’m sorry, this is not a schoolboy’s fantasy. It’s missing the scantily-clad woman with a clumsily-drawn bust, and “[name of probably crappy band] RULEZ!” in giant letters.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Rags 5—not to mention the red bra. No wonder he’s sucking in his tummy; he’s trying to impress her. It’s another boy-meets-girl-dragon/T-Rex-hybrid sci-fi thriller/love story, a Baen speciality!

  15. HappyBookwyrm Says:

    The logical extension of Dino-riders…

    I really like this cover. (Go 80’s!) My only question (well, not ONLY, but my most major question) is: why is someone “marching to the sea” on a dinosaur? I’m pretty sure even pseudo-T-rexes can’t really march. And what’s to do at the sea? Unless there is something about General Sherman and the Civil War I don’t know about…

  16. Scott B Says:

    @B. Chiclitz — to me what the dino’s wearing looks less like a red bra and more like a Roman tunic-vest, except teeny-tiny like those outfits you can buy for your pet. I think this is all some big owner-and-pet cosplay session.

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Scott B—yes, that is a better read I agree. Perhaps on their way to the Cosmic Comicon in L.A. (hence the march toward the sea). Might win a prize!

  18. Amused Says:

    Actually, the illustration is accurate to the story, if anyone commenting here READS…

  19. Rachel J Says:

    …because of course nobody who READS could possibly have failed to read this particular book…

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Amused 18—well, we read your post, didn’t we? And it was indeed amusing, so you’ve picked a good nom de plume and all. But you’ve sort of missed the point, amusingly.

  21. Rachel J Says:

    @B. Chiclitz. Well, at least Amused has settled the question of whether the book really is about people who wear mediaeval-style costumes, wield laser-rifles and katanas and ride around on dinosaurs. So many of these covers LIE to us!

  22. RKC Says:

    I think the real problem here is that the ridiculous cover illustration is accurate to the story. Neither the cover, nor the story are helped by the other.

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Only a few tickets left to the
    DAVID WEBER MARCH TO THE SEA
    Join our effort to toss David Weber into the sea
    Call now!

  24. Tom Noir Says:

    Curiously, this same image can be found on the back flap where the author’s cover photo is supposed to appear.

  25. anon Says:

    At least there aren’t any back flaps depicted on the cover.

  26. JuanPaul Says:

    A man with a mullet, weilding a rifle and a sword rides a dinosaur sporting a Mohawk, a bikini, and ankle bracelets? Good show, Sir!

  27. Pete Richmond Says:

    Weirdly, I totally want to read this.

  28. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Fascinatingly, I just wrote a letter to an old friend saying I was feeling nostalgic tonight, and then I reread these old posts again and lo, my sides did split. What a great thread. Rachel J I hope you are still around. Dead Stuff, we mourn your absence. GSS!

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