Oct 08
Tom Noir Comments: With a sinking heart, Brad realized their skin-tight glam-rock outfits would not be an effective disguise in the forest.
Published 2007
Tom Noir Comments: With a sinking heart, Brad realized their skin-tight glam-rock outfits would not be an effective disguise in the forest.
Published 2007
October 8th, 2013 at 10:52 am
Seb Coe was thwarted by the alien’s trouser-evaporator
October 8th, 2013 at 11:13 am
Not sure Brad and Janet here are actually human. Their scaly blue legs appear to be attached seamlessly to shirt-wearing torsos. Also, his holster grows from his thigh. This explains why their proportions are vaguely off, as well.
And that poor A doesn’t know whether it wants to be an A or an M.
October 8th, 2013 at 11:48 am
As an aside…I see that GSS now has 100 pages of covers for our mocking pleasure! Congratulations to the hard-working GSS staff for making this possible!
October 8th, 2013 at 11:57 am
… and the bored pterodactyl flies on by. Nothing here he hasn’t seen before.
October 8th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
Cheers, Dead Stuff! Not long to go until Terrible Book Cover N° 1000. We have big plans* for when GSS hits that one!
*no plans whatsoever
October 8th, 2013 at 1:04 pm
@Tag Wizard – What do you mean… we’re having that huge party… everyone’s invited…oh wait… expect you! 😛
October 8th, 2013 at 1:12 pm
@GSS Admin — I was going to correct your “expect you” typo in your comment to Tag Wizard, but I just realized the Admin can go in and change anything after the fact so now this comment just looks stupid. Please delete me. See you at the Thousand Party!
October 8th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
@Bibliomancer – No No… I meant… expect you… as in… you are expected… *coughs*
I’ll keep the typo there… to show off your superiority!
October 8th, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Brad and Janet have every reason to be scared – they reached Planet 80s, where even the Xylons wear shoulder pads!
October 8th, 2013 at 1:33 pm
What, exactly, is the multi-legged pink thing holding at crotch level? Did the humans interrupt it?
October 8th, 2013 at 2:31 pm
Dirk wears white socks, er, uhm, blue pants? No, no those aren’t pants. They’re obviously in the process of teleporting in. Or maybe out. Either way it seems to be a slow process. What are they using, a DSL uplink for their teleporter? They might want to upgrade, and skip the progressive scan, or at some point they’re likely to rematerialize missing some important bits, having had them bitten off or blown away.
1000 covers, 20,000 snarky comments. Why, the sum total of snideness must be nearing critical mass! If care is not taken a runaway chain reaction could occur resulting in the creation of pure condensed sarcasm. Do we really want to be responsible for that kind of horror?
October 8th, 2013 at 2:55 pm
Antiques Roadshow X-Treme 3000! “Beep… You WILL tell me how much this is worth, Earthlings. IT’S BEEN IN THE FAMILY FOR YEARS.”
October 8th, 2013 at 3:04 pm
Brad and Janet are hiding in their big backyard because their neighbor, Mr. Glyb-Glyx, is bringing over another one of his wife’s casseroles. “Just kill him, Brad! Now! Please!”
October 8th, 2013 at 3:08 pm
I always thought ‘bridgehead’ was one word. Unless they’re talking about….
Oh.
October 8th, 2013 at 3:13 pm
James Woods vs. The Shoulder-Pad Beast!
October 8th, 2013 at 3:53 pm
‘By the author of HAMMER’S SLAMMERS. Part one of the trilogy, also including SPANNER’S SLANNERS and SCREWDRIVER’S SLEWDRIVERS.’
October 8th, 2013 at 4:54 pm
That horrid moment you realize it was a fancy dress party…
October 8th, 2013 at 5:27 pm
“Earthling! How much for David Bowie’s trousers? Name your price!”
October 8th, 2013 at 6:46 pm
Perspective with the tree behind the ant person is….interesting. I know he is probably just coming over the crest of a hill and the tree is in the distance, but it does look like the base of the tree is directly behind him.
October 9th, 2013 at 7:22 am
That awkward moment when you come across someone peeing in the woods.
October 9th, 2013 at 11:06 am
They shouldn’t be so worried. Ant-man only appears to have one eye, and it looks mighty inflamed. Probably from spending so much time skulking in the woods. Still, its lack of binocular vision should ensure its depth perception is hopeless, and given the lack of visibility from that helmet, so long as you keep out of its eyeline, happy days.
October 9th, 2013 at 11:58 am
Weird that Blobby is generally symmetrical, except in the leg department. Also, is its suit just the same colour as its flesh, is its body actually made of rectangular data panels or is it just entirely covered in a pink vinyl coating?
Maybe this is a planet where your clothes are bound to consume your body, and that’s what’s happening to the duo on the left.
October 9th, 2013 at 7:46 pm
That’s the Throne of Yord from Shamanic Princess. But don’t look it up unless you want to lose 1d10 Sanity and gain +1 Cthulhu Mythos points.
October 9th, 2013 at 8:59 pm
A.R.Yngve = LOL!!!!
That alien creature is just a mish-mash of random Earth creatures. I see ant, crabs, linebacker, robots, cylons and a walnut being opened.
Clive Owen and a young Kristie Alley are rocking the disco jeans tho, LOVE IT!!
October 23rd, 2013 at 11:13 pm
Not many people know this, but it takes a tremenduos amount of force to jam a pterodactyl feet-first into a redwood tree.
December 13th, 2013 at 10:40 am
Are those space pants they’re wearing?
December 14th, 2013 at 9:08 am
Well, their pants certainly seem to be “out there”… ;-P
But… should we automatically assume that events on a skiffy-book cover must take place outside Earth? They might be trekking through a Californian suburb, you can meet all kinds of weirdos there…
December 16th, 2013 at 11:32 am
Wow and I thought Tweaky from Buck Rogers had a bad case of head-shaped-like-a-knob syndrome……..
March 23rd, 2015 at 8:31 pm
Dick-in-a-box, amiright?
May 24th, 2015 at 9:14 pm
Sly fellow, Brad. They’re beaming back to the ship…but he slipped the teleport engineer a tenner to not teleport the top button on her blouse.
It’ll take him a week’s wages to beam her back without her trousers next.
November 14th, 2016 at 1:29 am
This cover has a two legged, two armed, one eyed alien, a pterodactyl, giant trees, and yet the most fascinating thing are these people’s pants.
June 13th, 2022 at 2:00 pm
We must be looking north because there is no moss in sight. That’s assuming this planet has moss.
June 13th, 2022 at 2:09 pm
Rags is right.
(Rags are right?)
Anyway, Rag is correct, that is Clive Owen.
“Ah did not have sayix with that alien, Monica Lewinsky.”
June 13th, 2022 at 3:00 pm
That space fleshlight must be a powerful job given how it need three
handsfeetsappendages to hold. Also, is it just me or are Brad and Janet being played by young versions of David Duchovny and Ellen Ellen DeGeneresJune 13th, 2022 at 7:12 pm
Looks like the alien shops for shoulder pads at the same store as the Killerbowl guy.
That feeling when the transporter is taking waaay too long to take you away from the alien who wants to tell you all about his cyber-codpiece.
June 13th, 2022 at 11:17 pm
Young Clive Owen and (squints) Young Linda Hamilton really should have used the upgraded express teleporter. You get what you pay for when you need to escape the Orange Jungle.
So who’s got the bridge head? The pterodactyl? The asymmetric alien thingy? (Looks more like a dick head to me.)
June 14th, 2022 at 8:46 am
Not only were they cornered, but only their legs were being beamed up to the Enterprise.
June 14th, 2022 at 9:38 am
Fortunately, the Clamheads of Barlowe III consider using their crotch guns on opponents mid-beam up unsporting and a Bad Show.
June 14th, 2022 at 10:32 pm
@Bruce: Ah, so that’s why their legs are going first; the crotch gun would naturally fire low, so if there’s limited transporter power, best to get the easier target bits out of the way irst.
June 15th, 2022 at 3:31 am
Crotch gun… brings new meaning to our favourite laser fight sound, “Pew-pew! Pew-pew-pew!”