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Jul 04

Dinocentaurs have no need for space suits!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Great, John, you’re here, come see the cover we’ve whipped up for Soldiers vs. Dinosaur Space Centaurs!”
“Uh, my book is just called ‘Soldiers’.”
“Ermmmmm… have you considered adding some dinosaur space centaurs to it?
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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29 Responses to “Soldiers”

  1. A.R.Yngve Says:

    See also these other exciting Baen titles:
    – GUNS
    – WAR
    – BOMBS
    – EXPLOSIONS
    – FURRIES

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Definitely not a fair fight.

  3. Tat Wood Says:

    A centaur in a dinosaur mask – no wonder his Buzz Lightyear toy got scared

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    This is what Jerry sees when he closes his eyes at night. Topless dinosaur glued to a horse.

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    There is no sense of proportion at all. Are those ships in orbit about 5m above the planet’s surface? Are the soldiers and dinocentaur continents tall? What is that plankton thing at dinocentaur’s backside, and how big is it to everything else? Why do the warriors have heat vents on everything, including their bottoms? This is nothing shy of a 10/10 and a merciful punch in the face.

  6. fred Says:

    Just looking at how that spacesuit/battle armor is drawn…it should be physically impossible to move at the right hip.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘In the very best of taste.’
    Little Lies

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    Is “Rave Reviews” even a thing? Try googling it. Is Baen just slapping any quote they want on the cover and calling it a “rave review”? Couldn’t they just yell down the hall and get Eric Flint or John Ringo to say ” an outstanding science fiction novelist!”

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    This would be a lot more appealing if there was a COUPON INSIDE.

  10. Tat Wood Says:

    I’m loving the 1976 Lyons Maid ice-lolly lettering. It’s almost as if they were trying to make you think you’d seen the screen version of this story, starring Peter Cushing and Doug McClure.

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The reason why real aliens have not let themselves be known to us is that they happened to see this book. It was warning enough.

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Care of Goodreads: Long and a bit boring, overfocused in religion. That’s exactly what I felt looking at the cover, with the dinocentaur as the Gnostic Unio Mystica and the soldiers as Saint Augustine and Saint Jerome, respectively.

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The first thought in the mind of every Baen book: “Should I kill the alien or not?”

  14. Lurching Lurker Says:

    Lovely how the Baen logo seems to come squirting out of the Soldier’s backside.

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @A.R.: I must respectfully disagree. If the alien has visible nipples, she can live for as long as she exposes them. 😐

    Say, why is an energy weapon causing blood to erupt from the dinocentaur? Wouldn’t it cauterise the wound at once?

  16. Jeff Vader Says:

    It´s got ears. For some reason I find a velociraptor-centaur with outer ears way more disturbing than you average ear-less velociraptor-centaur.

  17. Rags Says:

    Spacesuit designed by LEGO.

  18. Tom Noir Says:

    Ugh, I hate it when space rifles have those old school electrical fuses, they’re such a bitch to replace.

  19. Jaouad Says:

    I’m convinced Baen is taking the piss. Why else would that arrow in the logo be pointing right at LEGO guy’s tuchus?

  20. Stevie T Says:

    Actually, its kind of disturbing how often Baen’s logo ends up in close proximity to some cover character’s rear end.

  21. Stevie T Says:

    Maybe we need a new tag: “Butt Baen”

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    At least, Rave Reviews is a less generic title than The Book Review.

  23. Tom Noir Says:

    What happens when the editors of Rave Reviews come across a book they don’t like??

  24. RachelJ Says:

    @Tom Noir. No doubt they rave about how much they hate it. The real question, I think, is what they do when they merely feel neutral about a book.

  25. Scott B Says:

    Maybe it’s not “Rave” as extremely-positive”, maybe it’s “Rave” as in stark-raving-mad?

  26. Scott B Says:

    Or, they mostly focus on reviewing rave concerts and this whole literary thing is just a sideline…

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @ScottB: that would explain the font.

    /me is listening to: Rave Reviews, ‘Dinosaur Jr. vs Sheena Mary “Horse” McDonald Mashup, Feel the Pain Shake This Mountain’, 6:03 @ 192 kbps

  28. anon Says:

    “Anyone up for a game of darts?”

    Oh, is that “Author of The Regiment” supposed to make you buy the book? Are official military chroniclers/PR-guys really that good as writers? Or is that a weight-loss program?

  29. Jon K. Says:

    “An outstanding science fiction novelist. If this were science fiction, that would mean something.”

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