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Mar 25

Oppps...Well... that was definitely the wrong button to press!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: There’s a lot going on on this cover, so let me break it down for you: BLAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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28 Responses to “Dykstra’s War”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    “That… that logo! It cannot be! Never mind the space battle – look at the publisher!”

  2. SI Says:

    If you zoom in he’s clearly watching an episode of his favourite soap on one of those screens!

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Scene from Team America: Space Police.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The cover that truly speaks to the inner ten-year-old in every red-blooded American male.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “In a hundred years, humanity would be invulnerable”…

    Yeah yeah, coulda woulda shoulda.

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Sequels to DYKSTRA’S WAR were:

    – MELVIN’S WAR
    – LISA’S WAR
    – SMITH’S WAR
    – IT’S GOT WAR IN IT, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

  7. L.B. Says:

    This cover was probably John Dykstra’s real plan for ‘Silent Running’.

  8. Phil Says:

    Written by Jeffery “My parents couldn’t spell Jeffrey (or Geoffrey)” D. Kooistra.

  9. fred Says:

    The word for the day is ‘gobsmacked’.
    ‘The Ensign was gobsmacked at the BAEN cover he found himself starring in.’

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I appreciate how the foreground red light is pouring out of the Baen symbol.

  11. RachelJ Says:

    I know the blurb is pretty much invisible amidst the explosions and typography, but it’s pretty stunning in its own right.

    “In a hundred years, humanity would be invulnerable- but the future is now…”

    Is there any way at all for that to make sense?

    Let’s see… humanity will be invulnerable in the future, which is now, so humanity is now invulnerable, hence Dykstra’s slack-jawed apathy in the midst of a massive space-battle.

    Or, though the future is now, this present-future is not the future in which the invulnerability of humanity will be achieved. This will happen at a later, not-now, point of the future, or possibly in an alternate timeline. Dykstra looks that way because he is confused, and no wonder.

  12. misterbob Says:

    Nice how his Orange tunic matches the Orange letters,logo’s even the space fire !

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    I often wondered what became of Ike Eisenman. I bet, just before he pressed the ‘fire’ button thinking it was the intercom, he told himself “You can do it, Duffy Moon”.

  14. FeĂŁrofMusic Says:

    Orange and blue and explosion! Orange and blue and explosion! Orange and blue and explosion! Warning:This cover can induce epileptic seizures or anaphylactic shock. Consult your physician before purchasing.

  15. Tom Noir of the Red Moon Says:

    Wait, are you supposed to wear 3D glasses when you look at this??!?

  16. Tom Noir Says:

    Incidentally, the guy on the cover is what Baen hopes one of their readers will look like when glimpsing one of their Awe Inspiring 3D Day Glo Covers ™ for the first time.

  17. Jaouad Says:

    JEFFERY D. KOOISTRA’S DYKSTRA’S WAR: REVENGE OF THE FRISIANS

  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @RachelJ: Have at this blurb: Thrice Upon a Time.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Not satisified with waging fake space war in sci-fi films, John Dykstra built a space fleet and started the real thing.

  20. anon Says:

    Mr. Dykstra/D. Kooistra must be extremely used to the spelling errors by now.
    Otherwise he wouldn’t have okayed the cover.

  21. HappyBookworm Says:

    Thank you, RachelJ, for zeroing in on the first thing…well, no the second thing… that jumped out at me from this cover. (The first was ORANGE!) The logic of that blurb does not exist. Unless maybe the invaders are time travelers so the present for us is the future for the invaders…Just a thought.

  22. DaveM Says:

    In the future, green colour overlays will be banned. Was this cover designed on an IBM PC with a CGA card or something? Oh, “the future is now.” WRONG! The PRESENT is now, the FUTURE is what’s to come.

    As an aside, I believe the slack jawed human in the picture represents the artists impression of the author at the first viewing of the cover art. 🙂

  23. RachelJ Says:

    @DaveM Well, “The future is now” has been used as for two songs, an equal number of films, a hip-hop album, numerous inspirational posters and approximately 50% of all articles ever written in technology magazines without anyone bothering their pretty little heads over the fact that it makes no sense whatever- did you expect Baen to start?

  24. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @DaveM, RachelJ—I thought the future was now. Oh well, I guess I just have to wait for it . . . .

  25. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B. Chiclitz
    The future is fun! … The future is fair! … You may already have won! … You may already be there!

  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—
    I say live it or live with it.

  27. Tat Wood Says:

    Battlestar Catastrophe

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    There is no font large enough (or orange enough) to write how overly BAEN!explosionpewpewwhoopwhoopkerpowholyjebus this is.

    It’s bad enough looking at it this way; I suspect Dykstra’s war will be against blindness from having been in the middle of it.

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