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Dec 16

Dude! I'm totally going to catch the space dragon....Click for full image

Elfi Comments: Nothing says “serious astronaut” like Steven Tyler in a bubble-helmet.
Published 1982

Many thanks to Elfi!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Dec 15

Guys.. hate to tell you... but that's it's ass...Click for full image

Libraryman comments: This cover has it all!

  • Large centipede monster: check
  • Flying Manta Rays: check
  • Improbable mouths: check
  • Pink foliage: check
  • Big head Charles Bronson babysitting two “special” people : You better believe a check!

Published 1985 (maybe)

Many thanks to Libraryman!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.07 out of 10)
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Dec 14

Gwad Slippery Jim! It's art not a slide!Click for full image

Don Comments: It was originally supposed to be “The Stainless Steel Boob-Juggler’s Revenge”, but then we wouldn’t have room on the cover for this lovely art.
Published 1973

Many thanks to Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.26 out of 10)
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Dec 13

Anything but my eyebrows! NOOOoOO!Click for full image

Greengerg Comments: The face is somehow not tasty enough for the man-eating slugs?
Published 1987

Many thanks to Greengerg!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.24 out of 10)
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Dec 10

What a day to forget to wear anything!Click for full image

Art Direction: Now now, the naked gladiator in a helmet theme is completely in this season, so I insist! Make sure to cover his giblets in shadow because we don’t want a meat and two veg hanging out to offend readers. Side bum, is acceptable.
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.47 out of 10)
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Dec 09

And for your coarse hair we recommend disembodiment and fire!Click for full image

John Comments: There isn’t a joke I could make that would trump the description on the back – “The wife of a powerful figure in CA is found brutally murdered in the couple’s lonely mountain retreat. Wesley Stoneham made certain that all the evidence concerning the murderer of his wife pointed to a nearby hippie community. He had 3 goals in mind: to get rid of his wife, to drive out the hippie commune, and to enhance his own power in the state. He was at the point of achieving them all when Garnna, from the peaceful planet of Zartic finally made contact with Debby, a hippie from the commune, who had problems of her own. Then, Stoneham’s troubles began.” OF COURSE I BOUGHT THIS RIGHT AWAY!
Published 1975

Many thanks to John!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.47 out of 10)
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Dec 08

Ahhh Susan, your such a fluger!Click for full image

The Tim’s Art Direction: Okay, start with a monster with an improbably wide rear stance. Throw in some terrified citizens in jumpsuits. Now throw some rubble flying in impossible directions in there for good measure.
Published 1980

Rear cover here.
Many thanks to… The Tim!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.56 out of 10)
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Dec 07

That's right... the kindle is EVIL!Click for full image

Sophaloaf’s Art Direction: Okay, nothing says the future of publishing more than an oversized walkman that runs on floppy disks. Just imagine handsets so big theyll have to hover above a bunch of skyscrapers like a space ship.
Published 1990

Ironically, now sold as an E-book.
Many thanks to Sophaloaf!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.89 out of 10)
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Dec 06

We'll teach those waves! Fire all cannons!Click for full image

Hex Comments: What is THE THING? I’m not sure, but possibly a giant meatloaf with a rubber arm and a pair of huge headlamp eyeballs.
Published 1963

Many thanks to Hex!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.93 out of 10)
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Dec 03

I never turn down a warped blue man who's missing a crotch and wearing leggings.... wait... Click for full image

Art Direction: I don’t know how you did it when you worked for others but here at New English Library, we go out and get drunk. Then take LSD. Then run around the countryside for a good weekend continually engaging in any type of physical fulfillment we can find. Whatever you’ve drawn by the end we’ll shove on some cover.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.17 out of 10)
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