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Aug 17

My gun is so powerful I blow away cities...Click for full image

OK! Get ready ’cause here comes the cover train and we’re about to jump right on it! One, a hunky topless man holding his huge gun. Two, a post-apocalyptic scene in the background. Three, the author’s name in terrible fonts and way larger than the actual book title. Four, did I mention muscles…mmm, MMM! Wooo woo all aboard!!!!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)
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Aug 14

We're so boring the water doesn't even want to cast our reflections!Click for full image

You know what people are into these days… dressing up like strange animal creatures. So put a couple of people talking to some weird bunny person.. just like the convention we were at last week! Except less of the, you know, horrible single 45 year old men looking for sex. Take away from that with a huge space ship in the sky with the author’s name printed in horrible fonts.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)
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Aug 13

God, the things we do just to get the interMaWeb!Click for full image

I’m really not sure about what I want… So how about some weird horse-camel type creatures, something that would make The Great Lucas proud! Don’t forget to add a terrible landscape, an awful off planet sunset, and some people pointing a huge antenna to the sky.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.69 out of 10)
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Aug 12

Gah! Dead so soon. And I just got this crew cut!Click for full image

We’ve both been talking this over and really there is one thing we need on our cover. A horrific font! Have it big, bold, blocky and have the ‘fought’ look like someone has tried to adjust the colour balance in photoshop and then forgot about it. For the rest, just have some women crawling out of the air vent shooting an android. But seriously, who cares about the artwork these days.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.89 out of 10)
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Aug 11

God Shella, you told that guy about my small girth didn't you!?Click for full image

Well I want a red headed women talking to a camp looking dragon while she shows a bit of leg. Andre.. stop laughing! It’s not like your covers are any better! Jeeeezz… Ah F it.. just put a well built guy laughing his ass off in the background. That can be you Andre…you knob.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.54 out of 10)
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Aug 10

So I like, football, drinking with friends, working out... and killing...Click for full image

As a women I know that there are two main things we love about men. Long hair with hunky muscles being one of them, *drool*, and the ability to fire a light weight fast action submachine gun at any given point. What’s that you say – this book’s in the Fantasy genre? Oh yeah, forgot that element… uhhh ok then, lens flare the gun and put some transparent eyes in the sky. Now that’s what I call Fantasy Romance!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.13 out of 10)
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Aug 07

Shifting between worlds to get a hooker! ohhhh Yeaaa..God I love my powersClick for full image

Some artists define a generation: Picasso, Michelangelo, Paul Klee… I want you to be inspired by their works and create something for me. Think of these things: hookers, cats, bats, stereotype vampires, a real man with long cheesy hair holding his long sword. And to make it art, we place them all…. between worlds! Together, my friend, we will define the next generation!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.66 out of 10)
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Aug 06

And I raise your stereotype with my light beam!Click for full image

Two words for you…. pirates vs kinky police officers. Well you know what I mean! Have the officers in long knee highs and holding a large batons. Have a large magic beam hitting a stereotypical pirate in the chest and him grimacing in pain. It’s almost too perfect.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.33 out of 10)
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Aug 05

I'll take the space ship, it looks less depressed.Click for full image

Imagine this, you are a female knight… awww come on, I said imagine… and you have come into the future only to find… wait for it.. space ships! And a futuristic station! This cover will be one of the greatest comparisons of public transport ever! Oh, don’t forget the transparent eyes in the sky too.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.36 out of 10)
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Aug 04

Cover yourself up women! Yer distracting my lizard!Click for full image

You know the two things I love: big bosomed women and lizards. Have them woven in an epic battle, lizard versus women as she tries to slice at it with her magical blade. Don’t go all crazy on me though, concentrate on the boobs.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.75 out of 10)
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