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Feb 16

WOW! All that moss sure knows where to cling to.Click for full image

Like a baseball bat to the face, we’ll hit our viewers with something special. A large forest women with rams horns and red curly hair. Perfect? Not quite. She’ll be wading her way through a swamp with another considerably smaller green tinted female watching. Now we’re perfect.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.06 out of 10)
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Feb 15

Gunner, aim directly for her nasal hair!Click for full image

Look, with this we’re in a win-win situation. How could we go wrong with a space ship going through some sort of light speed travel and the captain pointing at a huge shiny hologram of a person? Just as long as we keep the fonts subtle we’ll be fine.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.22 out of 10)
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Feb 11

YouClick for full image

What in the name of Poseidon is this? A naked woman?! Look, we can’t have it go out like that, at least cover her up with something adequate, like a skimpy piece of cloth and some small shells covering a small portion of her cleavage. And have her standing on a chained man, pointing her sword at him. That way, it’s acceptable.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.52 out of 10)
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Feb 10

It may hurt like hell leaning up this way, but that sure is one pretty space ship.Click for full image

You know what’s on the way back in terms of being considered manly? Pink! That’s right. So we’ll have a lot of it. And on top of that epic dose of man we’ll add more layers of manliness. A crewcut, a crossbow and most importantly a stomach wound. That’s one large slice of man-cake for your eyes.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.70 out of 10)
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Feb 09

Oh, so that's why the bottle was marked LSD.Click for full image

Oh, I know: I had this strange dream last night, possibly a nightmare. We’ll have a horse, the mare, charging through a book case, transparent like a ghost, into the view of a typical accountant type. Lapels and booze bottles around him, just like real life. Just kidding of course, we’ll have to make him look like he’s washed recently.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.30 out of 10)
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Feb 08

I am the queen of blending in... minus this whole fireball thing...Click for full image

Listen to me carefully, I said give me a big bosomed women standing in front of some governmental type building casting a beefy fireball. With extra lens flare! Then place every sentence and word in a different type font. Oh wait… that’s what you’ve done.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.57 out of 10)
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Feb 05

Stop complaining! I only have a shovel to defend myself...Click for full image

You know what a book cover can never have enough of? That’s right chum, text. Lets fire as much on there as possible. And possibly some worm creature being attacked by guys with guns. But that’s secondary, no in fact it’s tertiary, to the fonts with their various marvelous colours and shapes.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.97 out of 10)
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Feb 04

Hey! Who wants to see the crotch enhancements on my space suit? Girls?Click for full image

I’ll tell you want you need. And skin it for free. Sorry, I mean what you need are bubble helmets and plenty of them. Nothing screams, ‘we’re in the future’ more than bubble helmets. With space suits of different unnecessarily bright colours. It’s the new retro. Or, the same as the previous retro… pretro?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.77 out of 10)
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Feb 03

OYE! Get a job you tree hugging, green chemical firing, alien hippy!Click for full image

There is one thing we should be about, fonts! Lots of them. Vast and glorious as they confuse your mind. Then we’ll just have something completely unoriginal on the cover. Something like, oh I don’t know, some marines firing their weapons at an tribal people who live in the trees. Sounds like a crap B movie eh? Ah ha ha ha ha.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.81 out of 10)
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Feb 02

Uh...Sir..SIR! My dragon is regaining consciousness!Click for full image

Everyone is into wizards these days. Your friends, that strange shopkeeper next door who just stares at you, even your mother! Sorry… but who wouldn’t appreciate a mullet wielding wizard with a sexy open ripped shirt, kneeling next to a dragon in the midst of a spell? Teenagers? Well… mmm… uh… uh oh.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.64 out of 10)
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