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Dec 13

Ok lets do this gun fight. Everyone got your... ah who am I kidding. Crane... you are screwed!Click for full image

Marmontoast Comments: Evidently, there really is a bird-like entity in the novel, deciding humanity’s fate. If only it could answer its mobile phone!
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.15 out of 10)
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Dec 11

Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga - Wooo take that 15th Century Artist!Click for full image

Scott B Comments: Sure the cross-eyed owl and cherry-shaking duo being eaten by a giant flower seems bizarre, but the back cover explains that it’s a Bosch painting (so intellectual!) and it’s a better portrayal of the author’s work than any modern artist could make (so they don’t have to pay anybody for a cover!). The back cover also DARES YOU (in type so large they can’t fit a four-letter word on there) to, I don’t know, have acid flashbacks or something. Not that you should do that! But read this book, because the author did that. Or something.
Published 1958

Back Cover Here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.28 out of 10)
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Dec 10

I call this daemon chop explosion therapy... trust me it will catch on!Click for updated hi-res image

Joachim Comments: You should be looking at the giant sore on my lip!
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.02 out of 10)
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Dec 07

Man plus almonds equals...uh...Click for slightly larger image

Phil Comments: Almonds for eyes – check. Visible inner organs – check. Bionic limbs – check.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.59 out of 10)
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Dec 06

GHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!! I can't see what I'm holding!!!Click for full image

Frank Comments: Just in case the title and its placement aren’t edgy enough, it’s backed up by cover art that should push it over the edge into WTF.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.85 out of 10)
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Dec 05

I've really got to stop coming on these internet dating sites...Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: What if William Morris painted Fantasy covers?
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.68 out of 10)
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Dec 04

You know... you guys could help instead of barely pulling, riding your purple unicorn or even.. STANDING... on it!!Click for full image

GK Comments: Room for another unicorn somewhere?
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.71 out of 10)
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Dec 03

Look we all know how this works... we get the armour... you get the wrist guards and push up bra... it will protect you... honest!Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments: Upset that only the City Watch showed up to her Confirmation, Melody pisses the Pleiades.
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.69 out of 10)
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Nov 29

It's cold on Venus today... those mountains are awfully perky.Click for full UNSHEEPED & UNLEWISED image

Ian Comments: No one will notice the nude lady disguised as hills and valleys. Bound to get more sales that way.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.50 out of 10)
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Nov 27

There is nothing more manly than travelling like this... MIKE... did you bring your dog?!?Click for slightly larger image

Joachim Comments: Oh boy. Too many unusual creatures but I’ll give it a try… Shirtless man holding a puppy prancing across the planet with a flock of “birds”, on the back of a cockroach-like yoda-eared pig, escaping from laser beam shooting luminescent cilia-clad levitating mollusks…?
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.55 out of 10)
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