Kim Comments: Don’t even know where to start.
Published 1977
Kim Comments: Don’t even know where to start.
Published 1977
Wes Comments: I recently went to Hay-on-Wye in Wales for the first time, which is famous for it’s bookshops. There’s something like 28 second-hand bookshops in one tiny town, it’s incredible! So many obscure titles, such a rich vein of stunningly cheesy covers, I honestly felt a bit dizzy. So anyway, I only bothered snapping a few and this is my favourite.
Published 1987
Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Scotty, we need more clip-art!”
“She can’t take much more captain! We push her any harder and we risk a font overload!”
“Dammit, just do it man!”
Published 1999
Kelly Comments: Considering that later editions have an absolutely gorgeous cover by Michael Whelan, I’m always a bit horrified to see the travesty on my own copy of the book. It looks like a poster for some kind of low-budget 70s bondage. My poor eyes!
Muttley Comments: Did you see a mouse? I’m sure there’s a mouse in here. Gonna blow that mouse away . . .
Published 1981
Thanks to Kelly and Muttley who both sent this in!
Danielle’s Art Direction: Draw a masquerade party on Mars, but don’t draw too many Martians in it. It’ll speak to the commonality between us and Martians. Why are you laughing?
Published 1979
Click for slightly bigger image
Hayley Comments: This is what the back-cover says, “Warning: Graphic sex between a human woman and an alien male who is anatomically different from human men!”
Published 2008
Many thanks to Hayley!
Submitted through our wonderful Facebook group!
Remember when you used to dress up in black clothes, paint red eyes on your hoodie, stand with a knife and pretend to sacrifice your little brother to an evil spirit just to gain some physical power that will, in the end, only destroy you? No? Well you haven’t lived man! Now, let’s put that on there.
Thanks to Nix who says:
_Patterns of Chaos_ is a slightly famous book with a lot of amazing setpiece scenes which could have been used for the cover, starting with the destruction of entire planets, meticulously described, and ending with a transgalactic trip to a memorably unpleasant destination. If any book counts as overblown space opera, this one does.
So what did they use for the cover? A scowling cowled bloke, a weird plant, a badly-designed castle and a random number generator.
I’ve heard on the grapevine that science fiction slash fantasy readers only want one thing. Naked women! What’s with that, eh? What we need are dudes. The type that make you feel really uncomfortable. No mention of fantasy or anything. Just a dude and… The Quest!
Shiinnnny so shiny……. Yea that’s exactly what I want people to say when they look at the cover. I want silver, a black web, and a little spyder… sorry I mean spider… but you see what I was doing there… right?
Thanks to Graeme!
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