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Oct 26

If you think these cards are strange... you should see space Top Trumps!Click for full image

Durbin Comments: Book officials were shocked when it was revealed that an elderly parishioner had painted over a deteriorating fresco with a haphazard splattering of paint. “The once-dignified portrait now resembles a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic,” one official says.
Published 2010 (maybe)

You might remember this from here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.31 out of 10)
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Aug 14

Grant Callin? Tell him I'll call 'im back.... I'm here all week, people!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: Astronauts and furry alien return from a fishing trip, without a fish.
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.07 out of 10)
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Jul 04

A dragon phallic train? No way am I... 'boarding'... that!Click for full image

Scott Comments: Cat People always make a great cover, but a steam-dragon-train, that’s something else!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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May 29

Some voices break glass, this guy seems to destroy planets.Click for slightly larger image

Alessandra Comments: Ow, ow, ow! I’m doing a dental self-exam, my back is thrown out, and I’m carrying this armful of light-sabre blades!
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.71 out of 10)
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May 17

Luckily for me... my body is 3 quarters legs!Click for full image

Mangraa’s Art Direction: OK, the main character’s a hot chick, so slap a Barbie head on a soldier’s body, that’ll work. Make this cover look like the end of a Michael Bay sci-fi clusterf***! I want not one, but TWO ships blasting away at her, the entire city burning, maybe throw in a lava spout just to be safe. I want NO EMPTY COVER SPACE!
Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.87 out of 10)
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Apr 17

Giant space heads have to deal with giant pimples somehow.Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Scotty, we need more clip-art!”

“She can’t take much more captain! We push her any harder and we risk a font overload!”

“Dammit, just do it man!”
Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.97 out of 10)
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Mar 28

Cat people boobs... really Baen... Really??Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Tom Noir Comments: Naked cybernetic armed cat woman in an improbable pose bursting through a cover of shiny 3D fonts? This is what happens when cover designers play Bingo. This cover is SO shiny that the camera couldn’t quite deal with it. Pretty much everything that looks black is actually highly-reflective chrome.
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.95 out of 10)
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Mar 21

Well I think... being a new kind of soldier... we deserve better hats!Click for full image

LibraryMan Comments: OK man…I’m coming out…just…don’t shoot
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.97 out of 10)
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Mar 06

Hooooowwww MUCHHHHH isssss that....DOOOOOOGGGGGGGGG innnn the WINNNNNIINNNNINNNNNNIINDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW! Oh yeah!Click for full image

Rusty Comments: How one can tell a true hero from a common man is by whether his shirt disintegrates in an alluring yet ferocious manner at the drop of the hat.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Feb 29

When jumping through poisonous smoke killing mutants remember one thing... safety! Never forget your kneepads!Click for full image

GK Comments: When you point your finger at someone, there are three pointing back at you.
Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.81 out of 10)
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