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Oct 03

All alone. I can eat my turkey drumstick in peace.Click for larger image

Stevie T. Comments: I imagine the conversation went something like this:
Underling: “Sir, we just got Louis L’Amour’s latest manuscript…”
Publisher: “Great! Slap some cowboys on the cover and get it out there!”
Underling: “um…but sir it’s not a Western. It’s a Science Fiction novel.”
Publisher: “What?”
Underling: “You know, Science Fiction, like parallel universes, alien invasions, that sort of thing…”
Publisher: “…. Are there Indians in it.”
Underling: “Native Americans? Um, yes, but—-“
Publisher: “Great! Slap something bizarre and Indian on it and get it out there!”
Underling: “but—“
Publisher: “I said get it out there!”

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.62 out of 10)
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Sep 12

The Dragon Lenscrafter: We'll even make glasses for your 4-eyed dragon friendClick for larger image

Tom Noir Comments: In conclusion, dragons should not wear clothes! Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.67 out of 10)
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Aug 22

Oh, snap!Click for larger image

Malcolm Comments: Hey! Who filled the sex dolls with helium?!

Published 1960

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.87 out of 10)
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Jul 23

Space Twister - The Game of the FutureClick for larger image

Margo Comments: “Reggie, stop punching him in the elbow. I don’t think killer robots have a funny bone.”

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Jun 06

Granny-paloozaClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: “Demented California of the future…”?
Sounds like the California of the present.

Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.81 out of 10)
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Jun 04

Looks like he's pulling a yokeClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: They look like figure skaters…in space?
Published 1985

 

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.33 out of 10)
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Apr 03

Every Book Complete NonsenseClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Aren’t you a little overdressed, cover guy?
Published 1953

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.19 out of 10)
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Mar 26

It's fonts I'm tellin' ya! Giant fonts on the covers sell the books!Click for larger fonts

JuanPaul Comments: It’s fun to crank up the C-Y-M-K
It’s fun to crank up the C-Y-M-K-ayy
You can use all the ink, you can make it look chrome
You can hit us with looks of sto-one

Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Sep 26

Every book complete; unlike our competitors' with half the chapters missingClick for larger image

How you like dem apples?Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – 1950s Ray Bradbury Bantam Paperbacks

Good Show Sir Comments:

#1. Paperback sales are down last quarter in Ohio, Alabama and California. Do something creative with the covers to get our numbers back up.

#2. Passive-aggressive cover artist thinks Bradbury stories are boring

Published 1951, 1954

You might remember one of these from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.35 out of 10)
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Sep 04

It's grooming time!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Turn around. You’re messing up the conga line.

Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.33 out of 10)
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