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Sep 26

Masquerades as science fictionClick for larger image

Assassin of Gor

Masquerades as a romance novelClick for larger image

Nomads of Gor

John NotnormalClick for larger image

Marauders of Gor

Good Show Sir Comments: Acting on a tip, we wasted an afternoon browsing the visual excesses of John Norman book covers over at “The Complete John Norman“. So many editions, all terrible in their own way. But one edition had a special style of terrible that makes us sit back, doff our hat, and say “Good show sir, good show, indeed”. Here is the full set, we could have selected any of them for today’s post so I present a random threesome.

1. Asshat of Gor

2. Gonads of Gor

3. The Rotters of Gor

Published 1997, 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Jul 25

From the makers of Second Life!Click for larger image

JuanPaul Art Direction: Sorry, Marc, but we can’t afford to pay an artist. We’re going to use a screenshot of my kids’ Everquest characters.

Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.69 out of 10)
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Feb 01

Ted... I think... we're being followed.
Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Dude, next time you take me for a walk can you at least change out of your night clothes?
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.58 out of 10)
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Mar 03

Come visit scenic Giant Vomit Falls!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: There was a small misunderstanding when he asked his friend to go bear hunting.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.89 out of 10)
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May 21

You just straddle it! Don't do... whatever you are doing to it! Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: I have to think of everything around here! Just put Paddington Bear in a cowboy hat on top of a thing… and I really mean a thing! I want readers to stop and say, “What the hell is that thing!?!” Got it?
Published 1970

Many thanks to [email protected]!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.57 out of 10)
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Feb 13

Yep... that's the professional standard I look for... no one said 'ever'. Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: On the title page it says something along the lines of “this cover can not be used without written consent from the owners.” Well, Thomas… This is how I feel about that!
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.63 out of 10)
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Jan 23

Ah.. the chicken flute... a noble instrument...Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: And after only a few dozen sessions on the E-meter you will so far exceed normal human ability that you can eat a turkey drumstick wearing a bear suit and not feel stupid. Honest!
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.04 out of 10)
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Feb 05

I ponder... can rooster bears breathe in space? Nope...Click for full image

Scott B’s Art Direction: We don’t want anyone to confuse this with the film “Labyrinth” which has just recently been released, so put something on there that nobody will mix up with that. Ah, how about a rooster-bear pondering deep thoughts? That’s the stuff.
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.88 out of 10)
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Jul 25

Never ever... stand on a bears encyclopedia!Click for full image

Joachim’s Art Direction: For our story about ALIEN talking space bears let’s mix it with some Earth myth — you know, Goldilocks and the Three Bears– and since it’s for boys, a SWORD and a HUGE glass of beer (bear beer?)…
Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Mar 18

LOOK OUT! He's got a vuvuzela!Click for full image

GK Comments: Even the bear fell asleep reading this.
Published 1982

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.08 out of 10)
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