preload
Feb 08

I look suspiciously like the wizard from two days ago...Click for full TOP-SHELF image

Claire’s Art Direction: Hum, riders on the wind. Well obviously lots of wind in a pretty colour, and a rider – I know, a naked chick with body tats. Throw in some standard fantasy stuff, like a castle and a wizard dude et voila!
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.76 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jul 20

Yep that's Ireland alright... full of bondage obsessed Nazi gnomes!Click for full image

Grady Comments: I’m disappointed, to be honest. The back of the book says, “They speak German. They carry whips. And they are connected in some mysterious way with Nazi experiments carried out in the charming old Irish castle during World War II.” Meh, I’ve seen more charming Irish castles.
Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jun 21

OK kids who wants to go to Ellison Wonderland? No one?!? Well... yea... too much LSD there.Click for full image

Matt Comments: Whatever is going on in Mr. Ellison’s mind, if that’s who the gent on the cover is supposed to be, it seems to involve a Tattooiene-esque castle while he speaks of an alien feigning submission in a bespoke suit. Perhaps too much spicy pizza before bed?
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.62 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Apr 22

It’s that time of the year again where people might just get a longer weekend! And that usually means an honourable mentions but unfortunately I have been pretty ill this week and have been sitting with some soup while watching TV and reading a few books!

Anyway, instead I give you a MisterBOB mega post! He’s sent in enough covers to start a book shop so here’s a few to keep your weekend going! Enjoy your holiday weekend!

DAMN this computer! This is not the p0rn I wanted!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: A spaceman looks out his window and sees the face of GOD!
Published 1986

Funny.. I remember wanting to do that exact thing to the railway children when having to read it in school.Click for full image

MisterBOB comments: Please, do not show that teenagers can time travel by putting a plastic bag on their head.
Published 1989

It's the punk unicorn!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: A particolored unicorn, so start with where the horn is, as the rest is just a horse…
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jul 23

 

Ow ow OW! Flying this is actually incredibly uncomfortable!Click for full image

Art Direction: I looked, and there before me was a pale Pegasus! It’s rider was named Martin, the local high school geography teacher.
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.52 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jul 22

AH HA! Take this giant head!Click for full image

Miss.. please stop strangling my griffin with your extra long thighs!Click for full image

Dude, of the many things I could question. What's up with your fingers?Click for full image

David Comments: It took me a long time to notice that the naked red man with spikes on his feet and a horn in his forehead is holding his sword in a rather odd way.
Published 1973, 1974 & 1975

Many thanks to David!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.60 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Jun 23

Stop dancing around and help me hide this body!Click for full image

Andy Comments: The art department obviously wanted to cram as much as possible in (even though this is apparently the second novel in a trilogy). I wouldn’t be surprised however if it was an image ripped from the text. I really like the bloke standing on the ear of dragon – it seems to go well with the tag line. The spaceship is supposed to be vivid purple (the first line of the book) but is obviously out-done in the purple stakes by the dragon.
Published 1995

Ah the days of… yellow jeans…
Many thanks to Andy!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.26 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

May 25

Of all the weird things around us to attack... you choose the tree?!?Click for full image

Jen Comments: A warlock and his robotic horse battle a carnivorous tree who collects stuffed animals and leprechauns, while farting evil smoke into the mouth of a nearby menacing castle. Meanwhile, a knight and his lady ride past, oblivious. Sadly, a surprisingly accurate depiction of the book. And yes, I paid $5 for it.

Insane thanks to Jen!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.37 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Apr 30

Well it’s reached that time again were here in the UK we are blessed with bank holidays! So for those like myself who will be relaxing with an extra long weekend, here are some honourable mentions.

These covers break our explicit and hard kept rules, which are enforced with an iron fist. These are part of a franchise (this time of adventure choice novels), but nonetheless each of them sports an excellent cover so I hope you enjoy them.

Also just to say thanks to everyone who has been sending me in covers! We’ll slowly get through them all so keep an eye out and I promise they will appear at some stage.

Have a great weekend for those benefiting from it!

To face the evil rabbit turn to page 8
To run away turn to page 57

Before I kill you could you lift me onto my horse? This armour is pretty heavy.Click for full image

No seriously, green, completely makes you look more menacing.. hahahahahaHA!Click for full image

My robo crotch is exploding!Click for full image

They are the most evil triangle cuff-links I have ever seen.Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.39 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with:

Apr 15

These collections of books were submitted by Eron Rauch. Thanks to Eron for making my day full of Icelandic volcano ash that little bit easier! Check out Eron’s site www.eronrauch.com which shows off some of his great photography, some of it also brilliantly nerdy!

That's no moon...Click for full image

Eron Comments: The first of three in this series. I mean, how else do I explain it more than the title “Camelot in Orbit”, except I don’t really understand logic of the title, since they seem to be on another planet. I guess technically that planets are in orbit, but that’s rather redundant. Also, King Arthur seems to be riding a beaked dinosaur that is so pathetic that He-Man would be caught near it. I mentioned that before right? A fecking armored dinosaur.

Who would have thought, Merlin.. a carebear!Click for full image

Eron Comments: The second in the series, I think, I mean it’s hard for me to care really, but this cover is passably bad until you notice the creepy-as-sin inbred ewok/mogwai knock-off sitting just to the bottom left of the girl. Staring. Into your soul with hollow black eyes. Seriously the stuff of nightmares.

HEY! How come the ash from that burning doesn't ground that space ship... grrrrrr!Click for full image

Eron Comments: The third in this utterly original series. Which features “Magick” with the added “k” which must mean serious fantasy is about to be had! In addition, we get a phenomenal rendering of the back of some random knight and a severely constipated dragon trying desperately to crap himself in terror at the War of the Worlds spaceship blowing the hell our of it’s castle with a laser that comes from nowhere.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.92 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: